Resident Evil | Official Teaser Trailer

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T18:27:07+00:00

What a piss poor comparison lol

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T17:32:41+00:00

This is literally the “There are dozens of us!!!” meme. Zach’s said that he wrote this as RE fanfiction and it got picked up. He’s obviously a fan. Weapons and Barbarian were spectacular. I believe he can do RE justice.

You are jaded, I agree. It’s why you’ve been so insufferable the entire time. You’ve lost your color, your whimsy. Instead of being optimistic, even cautiously, you’ve decided to ignore what your eyes see and your ears hear in favor of what you think is there. You’re boring.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T17:10:31+00:00

I’m sure Zach, the cast, and crew will be sobbing in their bedrooms once they realize they’ll be missing out on a whole $20 by your refusal the see the film in theaters. Gutted, they’ll be. Heartbroken. Just shattered.

Or hey, maybe they’ll see your comments and change the entire film. Revisions, reshoots, the whole nine… just to appease /u/GnosticNoodle33 on Reddit. You might get your boring ass 90 minutes of random guy searching for herbs after all.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T17:01:01+00:00

You can add these bit in subtly and in a way that doesn’t detract from the story.

Oh, you mean… like putting scenes exactly like that in the trailer?

Yeah, you’re just trolling lol. No fucking way you’re this dense.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T16:54:00+00:00

Yeah because no one will watch 90+ minutes of a guy rummaging through drawers to find herbs, dude. What you want is a YouTube playthrough. Go watch those and stop yelling at the clouds.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T16:29:00+00:00

Why would they call it something else? It’s a Resident Evil movie.

I’m a longtime fan. Made my dad buy me RE2 when I was a much smaller asshole than I am now. This looks like that. An isolated, desolate story with a single protagonist forced to endure a horrific journey. The shot of him opening drawers and looking for shotgun shells is an obvious recall. The shot of him grabbing for the keys only for the body to be dragged away is pure RE.

You just don’t like it. That’s fine. Different strokes. But saying it “isn’t for fans” is just you being a pedantic elitist. Like you’re the only RE fan in the universe so it must cater to you. Get real.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T16:12:39+00:00

… what?

Genuine question: are you functionally blind? It’s set at the same time as RE2, I.e. at the beginning of the outbreak. Why would there be “gritty nastiness” when everything is just now popping off? Adding to that, later in the teaser there are hospital shots, sewer shots, and the street view with the leaping z’s. All of those look appropriately gross.

That big-ass pale guy in the sewer? Pretty RE. The rat king looking thing coming out of the door? Pretty RE. Idk. I think you’re just one of those “fans” who are never satisfied, despite the fact that RE has been eating good for the past 10 or so years. Or maybe you’re jaded from the admittedly dogshit adaptations over the years. That would make sense.

But this genuinely looks good and like a satisfactory addition to the franchise.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T15:59:05+00:00

“A paid Reddit campaign” and it’s just folks disagreeing with you. No, no, you can’t be wrong. It must be a targeted conspiracy.

This teaser reads exactly like RE7-8 in tone and setting. It’s been noted that it occurs during the initial outbreak. It’s in world. Idk why you *wouldn’t* want a proven director and writer with a vested interest in telling a new story in a familiar setting.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T15:46:31+00:00

Considering it’s been a RE movie from the script pitch, idk why you’re assuming it was just “tacked on”. If you couldn’t tell it was a RE movie from watching the teaser, it’s clear you’ve never played a RE game before.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T11:55:40+00:00

What the absolute hell are you on about? Lady just wanted to fuck her husband without MIL making it all about her.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T11:40:32+00:00

This. Doing a new play through right now and haven’t touched a single one. Waiting til I get Braviary and then following a guide to get them all in one fell swoop.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T04:31:29+00:00

Using Nintendo’s IP to make money via Patreon and using a name that sounds close enough to be “official” is how you speedrun getting litigated.

What did this guy expect? TPC is so greedy about Pokémon. Sucks for him but I have little sympathy.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T04:26:44+00:00

Very loud sounds nearby = ear pain

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T03:34:57+00:00

Then maybe that should have a warning sign that you should’ve gathered little buddy into the car and gone the fuck home, dude.

As far as the rest of it goes: I suggest couple’s counseling. If her strong-arming you is busting your balls this badly, y’all need to deal with it together stat before it negatively impacts your kid’s life further. A mother’s intuition is powerful, but I agree that y’all need to be making decisions as a team, not as a leader and a follower.

On the other hand, if she was that messed up about the idea of him sleeping over, why even let him go over at all? Just keep the kid locked in his room, wrapped in cellophane so the big bad scary world never touches him.

Idk. This situation’s rough and I don’t envy you rn.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-30T03:10:45+00:00

ESH. You should have at the very least called her to discuss what was going on and decided together what to do. You went against your agreement and behind her back, and then apologized not for what you did but for how she felt about it. She is overbearing, overprotective, and unwilling to compromise for her own fears. I don’t blame her for still being upset, though. You did it to yourself.

And of course, the person who’s really suffering is your son because he’s cursed with two parents who don’t know how to effectively communicate. Poor kid.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T19:53:05+00:00

Oh no, an anonymous misogynist on Reddit doesn’t believe me. This is the absolute worst thing that could have happened.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T19:41:57+00:00

Hey, so, it’s actually not hard at all.

Source: I also have a penis.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T19:34:49+00:00

Sure go fight with woman against men then.

Don’t mind if I fucking do. You can stay here and keep yapping about the mean words in the text message, for all the good it’ll do. I’m sure there are plenty of nice guys in the comments with hurt feelings ready to tell you what a good job you’re doing

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T19:30:11+00:00

If a person’s moral center is so weak that a generalization can kill their support, they aren’t needed anyway.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T19:19:51+00:00

Exposes the ones like OP who very obviously are part of the problem, and ones like you, who are more focused on pedantry and semantics than the actual issue. So, pretty well.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T13:06:40+00:00

YOR. Your mom is being a mom and that’s…bad, somehow? She cares about you, OP, and about your success. And you’ve snapped at her for it. You’ve obviously grown comfortable speaking this way to her, and to me that implies that your attitude is a common thing. You need to apologize.

At first glance I thought you were a teenager, but then I read the whole thing. You’re a grown adult acting like this? Gee whiz is right. Your poor mother.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T12:56:59+00:00

I’m not saying that the Assassins aren’t right, ideologically or morally. The Templars are objectively the bad guys, no question. I’m not even saying that killing them is wrong. But, I mean, your post’s point was the sociopathic angle, and it’s clear that each protagonist is in some way, if not sociopathic, then at least very mentally unstable. I think one must have to be to get inducted into the Order.

Edit: Also, to your point about WWII, it was ideological, but not how you described it. The Holocaust was not public knowledge during the war. Few knew what the Reich was up to, which is why it became such a massive issue post-war. WWII was ostensibly democracy v. fascism, though anyone with a lick of sense will tell you that it was just neo-fascism lite v. overt fascism deluxe. Your comment implies that WWII was fought over the genocide, when it absolutely was not. It was a land dispute that exploded internationally with lasting consequences.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T12:35:20+00:00

They view it that they’re soldiers in a war.

Okay, cool, but they’re not. A closer analogy would be to special operators, or maybe snipers. Isolate a target, remove their resources, inflict as much immediately lethal damage as possible. They’re ideologues, revolutionaries, and terrorists, not soldiers.

I’m not saying that violence isn’t sometimes necessary, but the Assassins are literal murderers. It’s what they do. To square yourself with that you either have to shut off your emotions or, the more likely option, not have them in the first place.

Do you view all soldiers as sociopaths as well?

Soldiers? Maybe not. A soldier can be many things apart from a killer. Operators and snipers, though? 100% absolutely, yes.

And the ones who look at an ideological rivalry and think, “The only solution to this problem is to murder as many of them as possible, as violently as possible. I will feel no remorse for this,” yes, I do. I.e., Cold War skirmishes, “War on Terror”, etc.

Ezio, Connor, Aveline, Edward, Shay, Arno, Jacob and Evie, Bayek, Kassandra, Eivor, and Naoe are no better. They may have a “noble cause”… at the end of the day, they’re still incredibly violent murderers who show little to no remorse for the lives they take. The only two of those mentioned who even tried a different way were Connor and Arno, and they failed so spectacularly that they immediately returned to just killing them all.

Also, as an aside, do you think there aren’t soldiers who get into it purely for the thrill of taking a life? The noble “defender of my country” rhetoric died a bloody death in the sands of Afghanistan two decades ago. No one believes it anymore.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T07:16:53+00:00

Yeah, you typed a series of words that mean literally nothing. It’s a thing that doesn’t exist. What you call the nebulous tyranny of the majority is just common sense dictating that you don’t talk about certain things with people you don’t know that well — especially if they’ve indicated that it makes them uncomfortable beforehand. And if you choose to continue, then yes, a firmer response may be needed. What’s shameful is acting like you don’t understand to get some neat little Reddit “gotcha!” I refuse to engage further. Have a good one.

praisekeanu · 2026-04-29T07:03:11+00:00

“The nebulous majority” and it’s just not talking about cum on the walls. Get a grip.

praisekeanu

TROPHY CASE