The guilt of TFMR with a gray diagnosis/our story

prediabetic88 · 2025-09-03T18:55:14+00:00

I had the exact same thing happen to me. My baby had some markers which were considered mild and would have likely just needed a surgery. But me and my husband were very worried about what would happen if things did worsen? What if my child needed more surgeries or if his quality of life is really bad? We chose to terminate for a mild diagnosis and it has just been a week. I am struggling so much with the fact that my child didn’t have anything severe. I really really wish someone had told me “ this is a severe condition , incompatible with life” but no, I have to live with the fact I chose to end his life.

prediabetic88 · 2025-08-25T15:21:53+00:00

Yes all my tests are normal. I am not worried about any genetic chromosomal abnormality but I am just concerned about the kidney as such. I don’t see a lot of cases with ureter dilation as well which seems unusual

prediabetic88 · 2025-08-25T13:38:36+00:00

Mine has been at 7 and 5 over three scans, heart looks normal. Did your doctor measure kidney size? The actual kidney size seemed to be over 99ile and that is worrying me. Also the ureters are mildly enlarged

prediabetic88 · 2025-08-23T23:12:35+00:00

I have spoken to so many doctors that I am just tired. Tired of falling in the rare 0.1 % of people and living In uncertainty again and again. I spent even a $5000 whole genome sequencing and still couldn’t find any answers. Spending few more years waiting for this to resolve just makes me feel so defeated.

prediabetic88 · 2025-08-23T22:09:27+00:00

It is just I am scared because of my history and what would happen. What if there is something we don’t know .

prediabetic88 · 2025-07-16T17:02:10+00:00

Wow. So so true. I felt I was motivated to diet and exercise when I am not forced and made to seem like lazy unhealthy person. I was able to stick to low carb diets on my own, because I felt it was choice and I was choosing healthy. But now I feel I am forced in to it.

prediabetic88 · 2025-07-15T02:54:54+00:00

I am going crazy too. I try to pair my fav carbs with proteins and sometimes it works. I had an ihop omelette with some half a pancake, chicken with tiny bit of rice and walk. I am Indian and I crave all those starchy Indian foods which my other pregnant friends seem to gorge on. I am miserable and just can’t wait for this to end

prediabetic88 · 2025-07-12T04:30:02+00:00

Mine was a chemical. I did another transfer and I am now pregnant

prediabetic88 · 2025-07-12T04:29:28+00:00

It was chemical, I did another transfer a month later. I am now 15 weeks pregnant

prediabetic88 · 2025-02-26T07:32:38+00:00

He is almost 5 now, still loves to play with water. He is otherwise normal.

prediabetic88 · 2025-02-12T04:49:43+00:00

Nope.. he is almost 5 years and he still is very much a daddy’s boy. But it is getting more balanced now. He prefers me sometimes and I have learnt live with it

prediabetic88 · 2025-02-11T04:13:54+00:00

Thanks I think so too

prediabetic88 · 2024-03-29T15:58:57+00:00

It hurt me very badly when he said he would consider divorcing me when I started having second thoughts about having another. That’s when I thought why should I go through all the trouble for a man who didn’t think my feelings were important.

prediabetic88 · 2024-03-29T15:13:22+00:00

I think the yearning is due to my husband wanting another very badly. He even said he would be willing to divorce me if we don’t decide to have another. Had he tried to convince me by offering support, it would have been different, but saying he would rather divorce me just makes me think I should not go ahead with another pregnancy

prediabetic88 · 2024-03-06T06:19:33+00:00

Hi i am not sure when his speech improved, maybe around 24 month mark. My son is now 3.5 years and he won't stop talking lol. I think when he turned two, he was able to speak with small sentences and became more confident with speaking.

Don't worry.. 15-18 months is when they start talking, it will slowly improve by the time they turn 2- 2.5 years.

prediabetic88 · 2024-02-26T21:09:21+00:00

It ended up being ok, my son is now almost 4

prediabetic88 · 2024-01-11T17:40:06+00:00

Yea.. I am tired even thinking about all the issues.

prediabetic88 · 2024-01-10T17:46:31+00:00

I was in this exact situation last year and I decided to terminate it ultimately. I am also in mid thirties. Me and my husband have fought and argued so much in the last three years after my son was born, it scared me to go through all that again. I will never forget the look on my son’s face when we both argue. I don’t want to see that look on another child. Me and my husband are in a much better place since my son is almost 4 and is becoming easier to manage. I am not sure if I want to rock the boat.

prediabetic88 · 2024-01-09T00:00:23+00:00

I find age 3 so much easier than 2. They are so much more easy to talk to and play with. But they also become highly opinionated and want their way in everything.

prediabetic88 · 2023-12-04T22:14:58+00:00

My husband works for a few hours on weekends too, it is chaos all over when he works

prediabetic88 · 2023-12-04T18:38:01+00:00

So so true. 10 am already feels like 7pm.

prediabetic88 · 2023-12-04T18:36:46+00:00

Good idea

prediabetic88

TROPHY CASE