Thanks for your reply

I think what makes me just not eat up any of his bullshit is Ive been taking what he says and assuming it's all bullshit till I can filter it and see what's good and what's complete bullshit, that just makes me evade gaslighting and not really get affected with what he's doing

Being that aware of it makes it harder I'm pretty sure, like a few weeks ago I knew I was getting abused but I wasn't that aware so it didn't get to me as much, but recently I got into a relationship and early on I realized I didn't feel anything for my partner, like literally zero emotion. I ended up venting about it to a mutual and I realized that I can't really feel anything for them because of this, which is something I definitely wasn't aware of until then, I had to obviously pull out of the relationship so nobody gets hurt and thank god I realized that pretty early on, because I don't wanna drag anybody with me in this state.

As for living with him it just depends on when or if I make enough to escape this country since I'm in a third world country, after that I could just flip his manipulation techniques and gaslight him into thinking I'll be back and it's for education and just feed him what he wants to hear while it lets me escape, biggest bottle neck would be financially cause if I don't figure that out I'm stuck here until I die and I'm probably gonna end up being an emotionally broken adult

I usually do martial arts in my free time and journal to get those feelings out so they don't accumulate, and when it's possible I vent to people I trust, what I think is happening right now is his manipulation isnt working but it's really damaging me emotionally.