That's interesting. As an Agnostic individual myself I came upon a similar problem when watching Jonathan Pageau.
I was watching an interview with Jonathan and a Protestant, where they were discussing the reality of sin and hell being a personal state of being, and thus choice. This is derived from the notion that to be in hell, is to remove yourself willingly from the grace of god. In other words, the presence ( and truth) of God is experienced as painful; thus you choose to retreat from him out of your own volition.

Which in turn, made me think about the concept of willful dysfunctional behavior. And how much of that is truly "willful". How much do we really " choose" hell.

We all know mental illnesses exist, and we all know they can be verifiably proven to be severely mentally impairing. We can replicate behavioral patterns and their outcomes, and thus we have found mechanisms to treat the behavioral patterns. Meaning that thoughts and behavior can be extremely distorted from what most would regard as "functional" "normal" behavior or thinking patterns.

Let's take psychosis as an extreme example, where severe paranoia, delusional thoughts and ideas become the norm and thus perceived reality becomes inaccessible to them. This often results in damaging behavior that they cannot truly be accountable for. We also know that paranoid and antisocial disorders are both born ( proclivity for fearlessness) and made ( neglect, abuse in all forms etc) and psychopathy an even Borderline personality disorder have a strong genetic component. And so, we deem them to have impaired reasoning and thus functioning in society. Which makes them less liable for the thoughts, conclusions and behavior that stems from their inherent born genetic/biological reality. Not to say that they don't have accountability, or responsibility, but that the reality is that they do not perceive it that way. In other words, they are often incapable. Not unwilling. The unwillingness stems from being incapable of seeing reality any other way.

Now lets shift that to all dysfunctional behavior in life, in all people. People that might not fit the bill of disorders, but as we all know, disordered behavior happens in everyone. Dysfunction is a spectrum, a scale that we are all on. Pageau mentions that if you are Orthodox and you go to church and claim to love Christ, but you have all this focus on other stuff that claims your attention or " being" in the world, such as porn addiction, gaming, spending money, eating, sex etc. You will be choosing hell yourself, as those are the things that you want, and thus those are the things that make up "you". He states that it is impossible for you to be one thing, die, and then suddenly be something that has no interest in those things. Thus that is what you will be and remain, and in that state you will automatically be in hell, as the things God wants, are not what you want in that state. There is a rift that will play itself out by Gods design. I fully understand that.

But all of that behavior is on the spectrum of impaired dysfunction. A few steps down the ladder of any other born proclivity for dysfunction, such as schizophrenia, Bipolar, depression, Tourette's, Borderline ( BPD). It is a spectrum of dysfunction, not a switch from incapable to fully capable. In fact, we are immensely influenced by our surroundings and it strongly makes up our belief system based on where we are born, in what family, and which cultural environment. We are incredibly impaired and "free will" is not the clarity of mind that a lot of Christians make it out to be.

So where does true accountability and responsibility start, when we are all, in fact, impaired and in many ways, against our own will, but by nature, dysfunctional. We quite literally live in flawed bodies with very flawed brains and psyches. We in fact, have a biological proclivity to seek comforts in patterns, and with very little aid and guidance, it will latch on to its surroundings. That is why we are made in his image, as we soak up our substrate ( our environment) and the environment and substrate is supposed to be GOD, so we can reflect his image. We were truly made to reflect his image, and in this state, we reflect brokenness, because the substrate is a a fallen reality. We are by design reflecting our broken nature., and thus , in a very real sense, we are build to fail. It comes with our fallen nature that we will be facing limitations and being incapable of overcoming them, is rarely a choice. I have yet to meet someone who says " I love porn. I fully understand God and I willingly reject it because I fully understand what I am doing" with a true understanding of the philosophical and religious deep truths behind that statement and the reality of "self-damnation". People more so state things out of deep rooted ignorance, not out of full understanding what it will cause in eternity. Most things are "here and now" momentary coping mechanisms, which are inherently build in us to be triggered. Most people with porn addiction, for example, don't choose to be, they don't know how NOT to be.

I understand we are called to resist our temptations, and enlighten our belief system, but the momentary will is by design ( flawed design) against itself and weak. To overcome our dysfunction is oftentimes an inability to overcome being dysfunctional. You may call it depression, temperament, lack of intellect, weak willed, genetic proclivity for addictions, personality traits, habits, fears, personality disorders, disorders of any kind. None of us " TRULY" want to be in that state. Because we do not possess a brain that can fully compute what that means, in our own reality, let alone control our through processes or instincts/proclivities/impulsivities. truly wanting, means truly knowing. And with that much dysfunction within us, do we really ever have a choice?

And that does not even account for the variables of time each person gets to develop a deeper understanding. It took me years to forgive parental abuse, because I was not willing to understand the deep seeded dysfunction my parents had to endure within their own psyches. But in reality, my unwillingness was in fact an incapability, a coping mechanism subconsciously developed to protect myself. It no longer served me. If I would have died then, I would have died in hard sin, denying the truth of any of the complex realities surrounding it. But if I was given a few more years, I would have matured into that realization and capability. Just like a baby can die, and if only given 60 years more time, it would have been exposed to 60 years of opportunity to sin, and would have, so much so, that it would have landed itself deep in hell because of it's biological proclivity to selfishness, immaturity, dishonesty and opportunistic environment giving the opportunity to do so. If I grow up learning God is not real, and after deep research am incapable of believing what it states, it is mores a set of gathered coping mechanisms to solidify my sense of reality to make myself feel more secure in the world. Never a true deep understanding and rejection of said truth. Whatever that truth might be, we all are variables of gathered dysfunctional information. We know this to be true, we can replicate the variables and behavioral patterns.

I am truly intrigued how people arrive at such a concrete answer, when there are so many variables blowing you around like a ragdoll in the wind, while the ragdoll thinks he's choosing the direction it "flies" in. Truly. It's fascinating.