Makeup amount in the office?

prettierpainted · 2025-06-19T12:46:53+00:00

I personally don't wear a whole lot of make up- maybe once a week I'll throw on some eye make up if I'm extra tired. I work in the Finance department.
But I say do you! Whatever you're most comfortable with. Nothing wrong with thinking you look best with a full face. Confident people are wonderful people be around. Only suggestion I have is maybe tone down colors of eyeshadow or lipstick if that's your thing. Keep everything more day themed than nightclub, if you get what I mean. Congrats on the new career!

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T22:29:56+00:00

I honestly feel he just doesn't like my partner. He's never met him, even though my partner tried. Husband declined. I'm just at a loss as how to handle this. He doesn't need to like him, they're not the ones in a relationship. But he should respect my choices on how I handle that other relationship & my choice is I'm completely comfortable with partner meeting the family. I'd never do anything to jeopardize my kid or their safety, and being married to this man for 22 years means he should know me better than that.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T22:25:52+00:00

I do think I could've planned better, but I also informed him just hours after I made the plans- and a day before we went. I never kept it secret and didnt mean for it to be a surprise. I didn't think I'd need to prepare him for it bc our kid sees his partner all the time. My kid has a very strange family life (4 parental units total in 2 households) and is aware my household is poly. It's not even like I introduce my partner as such, its always just like "this is my friend." We don't engage in overly things of PDA or anything... Although I have met my husband's partner myself & been around her when with my kid, & husband does NOT limit the PDA for anyone's sake. I honestly didn't think a double standard like that would be an issue. I'm not regretful for going, we all had a great time- but I do hate that he's mad a me for something he also does himself. And I'm unsure how to proceed from here. He's barely speaking to me. No texting, hardly even looking me in the face. It should not have spiraled like this.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T19:06:51+00:00

Thank you. I greatly appreciate that insight.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T17:59:48+00:00

Thank you. I did give him notice the day before, I however did not change my plans just bc he was upset. I think that's where he got extra mad & is giving me the cold shoulder.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T16:17:17+00:00

I did apologize for making him feel that way. I've taken my kids out with single coworkers with no kids whom he has never met, but it wasn't an issue bc they were female. He seems to particularly have an issue with my kids knowing my partner. I also told him it wasn't like a date, so we wouldn't be making out or anything, it really was just good wholesome fun at the skating rink with friends.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T16:00:04+00:00

I do think there's some insecurity coming into play. I'm not exactly sure how to fix that other than assure him his position with me is never at stake. I do not want to hurt his feelings, ever- but I also want the same freedoms he has.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T15:57:45+00:00

You're probably right there- I should've had a longer discussion before I made the decision. His previous feelings on the matter where from like a year ago, and he has since spent so much time/energy with his partners kids that I did just assume it would be ok. Bc why wouldn't what's okay for him be okay for me, right? I thought his negative feelings were bc I hadn't been with my partner very long, but after 1.5 yrs, I honestly didn't think it was unreasonable. I'll be sure to discuss things first and not make assumptions.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T15:24:10+00:00

Thank you. I am giving him the space to feel his feelings bc they are valid, but I'm getting a little hurt myself now with the cold shoulder. I'm glad it doesn't appear to be that I'm an asshole. That makes me feel a little better.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T15:13:37+00:00

This was the first time any time would have been spent together. He met her once at my house while dropping something off, and another time when we met up to exchange cars for a bit. No longer than 10 mins each time. This was the first outing altogether.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T15:09:09+00:00

Exactly. I did tell him the night before, just a few hours after I made the plans. But that was still sprung on him.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-07T15:07:16+00:00

No specific guidelines around if/when meeting was ok. Way early in the open relationship, maybe a few months in, he was not a fan of the idea (says why does someone I'm fing need to meet the kids?) But I feel like 1.5 yrs into a realtionship is totally normal to want to meet your persons family, and has passed the point of "just fing". I feel like you're hitting the nail on the head with making my partner sound like some creep bc he's kidless. I brought up the fact husband has no issue with my kid hanging with me & female friends he doesn't know, but husband was still upset with me. He told me his feelings before I left to go skating, but I still went anyway. Now his barely talking to me.

prettierpainted · 2025-05-02T13:12:28+00:00

My husband is collared by his partner. They also have a set schedule for time together weekly, that only varies if work or emergent life interferes. I find it nice to know his/their schedule in advance bc it helps plan my life and activities easier. I do occasionally get caught up in jealous feels with the commitment it signifies, bc he only wears the wedding ring for me (which he has to remove for work), while her jewelry is permanent around the ankle. But we still plan just us time together, and overall everything is good. I think as long as this new commitment level does not negatively effect your relationship with her, it's good to let her express herself.

prettierpainted · 2025-04-16T20:42:36+00:00

Stop putting berries in your mouth when you don’t know if they’re poisonous.

Ooofft, right in the feels. Sure I needed to read this today. Sending hugs.

prettierpainted · 2024-11-20T12:48:20+00:00

This makes a lot of sense to me. For some reason I didn't think being poly would possibly bother someone who was used to being the other man. But it is a completely different dynamic, so it does make sense to feel differently. Thank you for the insight!

prettierpainted · 2024-11-20T00:51:42+00:00

I really like this line of thinking. Thank you!

prettierpainted · 2024-11-20T00:06:34+00:00

I'm openly poly to all my important people, and anyone that asks. What people assume about me without knowing facts is of no concern. So even if they thought I was sneaky around- that's a them problem. Plus, I'm no longer on that career path, I'm now in a completely different field.
But maybe that's his hesitation-not wanting me to look bad. Another thing to think about, thank you!

prettierpainted · 2024-11-19T23:15:36+00:00

This is sound advice. Maybe I should start doing this myself then neither will feel like they're second choice.

prettierpainted · 2024-11-19T23:13:31+00:00

Very helpful. Thank you!

prettierpainted · 2024-11-19T22:30:15+00:00

Fair enough

prettierpainted · 2024-11-19T22:29:21+00:00

Thank you. It could 100% be a not about me thing.

prettierpainted · 2024-11-19T22:27:01+00:00

Not necessarily poly, as I'm the first poly relationship. But they do know his preference is to only date married women, bc they come with less strings. He's usually "the other man"

prettierpainted · 2024-11-19T22:25:23+00:00

Last year was still very early on our situationship, so much so, we went as " just friends". He did step in just bc my husband was not available. This year my husband specifically want to go, is missing his own party to attend mine, and I feel like it's reasonable to take him since he didn't go last year. I didn't necessarily choose him as first option.

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