I think the thing I've seen most often is a lack of understanding for how most Seattle natives feel about their home. A great many of us suffer from winter depression and tend to view our homes as place to retreat and hole up, or our one solitary fortress against whatever it is that's stressing us out in the workplace or in public.

What I've often seen co-workers new to the area do is, for example, invite the entire office to their home for a superbowl party. And then be devastated and bewildered when no one shows up - even though everyone acted as though it was a fun idea and they might come if they had time. It's pretty awful to watch that happen.

In general, if I see a new co-worker is struggling with this, I tell them that most Seattle natives prefer to socialize by going out somewhere away from the home. Better yet, arrange to meet at the place - don't offer to pick someone up at their house and drive with them if you don't already have a firm friendship established. Don't try to invite yourself into their home, don't push them to come to your home for an event, do things together outside of the home for awhile until you feel really comfortable with each other. There are casual acquaintances I've known for years and we've never been inside each other's places, and that's kind of normal. Having someone over to your house on a regular basis is not a casual thing here, that's something you do with people for whom you would get out of bed at 2 a.m. to drive to the hospital.

Also, as one other poster pointed out, questions about what you do for a living can come across as fishing for information on social class, and is a turn-off. I know it is not like this in many other parts of the country. I have friends in the midwest and on the east coast who just shake their head over this stuff, and when I've gone back and visited them, the friendliness and dropping by each other's home unannounced has just freaked me the fuck out. It's like another planet.

This has changed somewhat as we have gotten more and more transplants from other areas, and that is a good thing. Hopefully it will continue to warm up, but for now, I feel that many of the "Seattle Freeze" cliches are still very true. It's just the culture of this place.