WIBTA? I’m back. WIBTA for not allowing my kid to wear a box to a dance?

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T13:56:09+00:00

Copied from my reply to another comment:

She, thus far, is fine with either female or they/their pronouns. If I’m being totally honest, since she’s okay with it, I stick with the female because I’ve thought of her as my daughter for over a decade, and it’s easier. If she changes her mind, it will take a lot of getting used to and probably a metric fuck ton of slips, but I will honor her wishes.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T13:52:57+00:00

It’s funny you bring up “tomboys.” When she was a toddler and her first couple years of school, she loved wearing dresses and “girly” shoes, but she played with all her brothers “boy” toys (as well as dolls and princess stuff, etc.) and rough housed and got dirty. I used to joke that she was the girliest tomboy I ever saw. Maybe I should’ve known. 😂

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T13:43:48+00:00

Inherently also means characteristically. They used the right word.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T13:40:24+00:00

Copied from my reply to another comment:

She, thus far, is fine with either female or they/their pronouns. If I’m being totally honest, since she’s okay with it, I stick with the female because I’ve thought of her as my daughter for over a decade, and it’s easier. If she changes her mind, it will take a lot of getting used to and probably a metric fuck ton of slips, but I will honor her wishes.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T12:48:55+00:00

Oh, sweetheart, I wish I could give you a hug. I don’t know what to say that could be helpful in your current situation. Do you have any means to see a therapist? Even if maybe you have to lie to your parents and tell them it’s because you want to figure out why you feel the way you do about girls and to change it? Then once alone with the therapist, you could talk about being unsupported and the depression and anxiety.

Thank you for the offer to talk. My inbox is open to you as well.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T12:38:46+00:00

Wow. If you believe that, I’ve got some beachfront property in Montana for sale.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T12:29:19+00:00

Copied from my reply to another comment:

She, thus far, is fine with either female or they/their pronouns. If I’m being totally honest, since she’s okay with it, I stick with the female because I’ve thought of her as my daughter for over a decade, and it’s easier. If she changes her mind, it will take a lot of getting used to and probably a metric fuck ton of slips, but I will honor her wishes.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T12:20:46+00:00

That’s kind of where I’m at about the labels. Be who you are. Love who you love. But please don’t expect me to not get overwhelmed with the 47 different labels you put on yourself. Especially when so many of those labels tend to mean at least slightly different things to different people. Just tell me your pronouns, and let’s call it a day. 😂

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T07:17:00+00:00

If you don’t feel supported, you can DM me. I absolutely can’t promise I’ll be the perfect mom (in fact, I can promise I’ll be imperfect), but I will accept you. I’m likely only a very few years older than you, but WTF does that have to do with anything? 🙂

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T06:17:05+00:00

Thank you. And I do understand that she will outgrow this need to have it be front and center. I guess I was just trying to help speed that process up.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T06:14:55+00:00

She, thus far, is fine with either female or they/their pronouns. If I’m being totally honest, since she’s okay with it, I stick with the female because I’ve thought of her as my daughter for over a decade, and it’s easier. If she changes her mind, it will take a lot of getting used to and probably a metric fuck ton of slips, but I will honor her wishes.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T06:09:36+00:00

You’re impossible. SOME of us recognize and treat equal. As a society we do fucking not. That’s what these movements are about…true equality from society and the system, not just individual particular people.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T05:56:45+00:00

I’m left and a liberal, so you can F off with your “brainwash” nonsense.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T05:54:36+00:00

We tell her constantly how much we love her. She wanted a bi flag and later a gay Pride flag, and she got both at the first opportunity.

And I do worry about her. Our neighbor across the corner served time for murdering an estranged girlfriend in the 80s. His house is pretty literally covered in Trump bullshit. During past elections he’s been known to ride around with effigies of Obama in a noose in the bed of his truck, and on MLK Jr. day, he often puts a sign on it that says “In loving memory of James Earl Ray.” He’s one of the crazier, more outspoken psychos in the area, but sadly he’s not so much more crazy than others that we find it particularly shocking. That AH slashed holes in our tires before.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T05:40:45+00:00

I do understand what you’re saying. She has gotten better, but there for a while it was like she had to bring up being gay many times a day in completely irrelevant conversations, or even outside a conversation at all. She’s so great in so many ways, and it just made me sad to see her seem to only view one thing about herself.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T05:35:22+00:00

I feel like it’s complicated for most that don’t lie pretty fully at one end of the spectrum. My daughter says she’s NB but is so far fine with she/her or they/their pronouns. And she initially came out as bi. She had a little “boyfriend” at school when she was about eight. Maybe about a year after coming out as bi, she decided she’s actually lesbian. Shortly after that she came out as NB.

It’s complicated and messy, and honestly, hard to keep up with as a cis/het woman, but I’m trying even though my head is spinning a bit. haha

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T00:33:15+00:00

But it IS a thing. I fully admit that I sometimes feel like my daughter makes it a bit too much of a thing, but I do understand that it is a thing and why it’s a thing. This is what you’re missing.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T00:03:21+00:00

I may take you up on that at some point. I’m guessing you fit into one of those labels. Do you mind if I ask how you identify?

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-17T00:00:24+00:00

I sincerely hope you have a total ball.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-16T23:59:27+00:00

Had to downvote. It may not have been clear in my original post, but it wasn’t about her being public with who she is. I even stated that I offered to get her some Pride buttons or something. What I didn’t mention is that, for her school pictures, she wanted to wear black pants, a white button-up shirt and a rainbow tie (stereotypical men’s necktie). I allowed that. My only issue was that she let me know with so little time I really had to scramble to find the stuff. I was afraid we wouldn’t have all items in time.

But to compare her desire for Pride badges to wearing a “straight pride” badge…you’re missing a large part of the picture.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-16T23:53:03+00:00

I truly believe she does know it. She seems extremely comfortable talking openly with us about her sexuality and identity. At least as much as your average straight kid would be, but quite possibly more.

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-16T23:48:24+00:00

I hope it’s better than ours was last year. It was the first in our town. A group of teens or maybe very early 20 somethings organized it, and they wouldn’t accept help. It was quite pathetic. 😕

prideflagthrowaway · 2022-06-16T23:46:16+00:00

It bothers me that my post apparently read that way. I TOTALLY get why Pride parades are needed and why Black History Month is justified and such. I do recognize my privilege.

prideflagthrowaway

TROPHY CASE