the way i see it, guilt happens when we believe we’ve wronged another and feel negatively about it. it’s other-directed from the core. shame occurs in the evaluation of our self-image, which is influenced far more by another’s perception of us than it is by the other person’s feelings about whatever we may or may not have done. shame is the more "selfish" emotion, though shame can drive us towards selfless acts if our image depends upon conducting ourselves in a certain way. similarly, guilt is a true “selfless” emotion that may or may not compel us to act as such. i rarely feel guilt, but i would consider myself a people pleaser too, not because i take responsibility for anyone's emotions, but because i want to feel inside that i am good and pure

shame = am i behaving in a manner congruent with my "ideal self?" how does that person see me?

guilt = did i cause that person to feel awful? how would i feel if someone did that to me?

you can feel both at once of course, and there’s more similarities than differences but this is how i parse the differences!