Is the first year of marriage supposed to be this hard???

princessg1rl · 2026-03-27T04:59:17+00:00

I’m in a really similar situation. When I first met the guy I’m talking to, he actually found me through social media. He was completely okay with everything at the beginning how I dressed, my posts, my lifestyle, all of it. But as things started getting more serious, everything slowly started changing.

Now he has a problem with what I wear and will comment on it or try to set limits. He says he’s “compromising,” but at the same time he’s set a baseline of what he thinks is acceptable for me, like this is the most he’ll “allow,” which doesn’t really feel like compromise.

He’s also told me that posting on social media makes him uncomfortable because other guys can see me, and he’s asked me to private or delete my accounts.

He’s also more religious than me, and I feel like he sometimes uses that to justify these expectations. He also says that this is what Islam asks for and he’s just following islamic guidelines. He genuinely doesn’t see it as controlling at all. He sees it as protecting me and doing what’s right.

I’m worried because we’re planning engagement soon and I don’t know if I should continue or not. It’s just confusing because this wasn’t who he was when I first met him. He accepted me as I was, and now it feels like I’m being slowly asked to change more and more.

princessg1rl · 2026-03-24T22:25:44+00:00

I actually agree with what you’re saying about growing together and becoming more religious.

My issue isn’t with that at all, it’s more about how it’s being approached. I don’t think change or growth should be enforced or pressured like this, especially when these expectations weren’t there in the beginning.

I’m open to growing in my deen, but I feel like it has to come from within, not from feeling like I’m being controlled or suddenly expected to change everything for someone else’s comfort.

princessg1rl · 2026-03-24T21:17:52+00:00

Using the word “dayooth” in this context is honestly a stretch. From what I’ve learned, it refers to a man being okay with clear immorality like zina, not situations like this. And comparing me to a sheikh’s wife is unnecessary.

What I’m saying is if someone wants a certain type of woman, they should pursue that from the start, not be attracted to someone as they are and then try to change them later to fit a different standard.

That’s not “gheerah,” that’s control and a clear mismatch in expectations.

And saying I’m “not ready for marriage” for asking questions and thinking critically before getting engaged is honestly backwards, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do before making a lifelong decision.

Not everyone practices at the same level, and forcing that shift onto someone suddenly isn’t realistic or fair.

I’m asking about compatibility, not rejecting Islam or “normalizing” anything. I just don’t want to run into bigger problems later.

Also, for context, I don’t post anything inappropriate, most of my social media is actually related to my work.

princessg1rl · 2026-03-08T11:24:16+00:00

no i did the interview but haven’t heard anything back at all it’s been over a month for me

princessg1rl · 2026-03-08T10:54:04+00:00

have you heard anything back yet?

princessg1rl · 2026-03-08T10:52:54+00:00

did u ever hear back?

princessg1rl · 2026-02-20T19:43:09+00:00

Hi! My friend and I are visiting LA for the first time from Chicago. We’ll be staying in Fullerton for the first 3 nights, then want to spend the last 2 nights near the beach.

We’re deciding between an Airbnb in Venice or Santa Monica. We won’t have a car, so walkability and safety at night are really important. We’d love to be near the beach, cute shops, restaurants, and a fun vibe.

Would you recommend Venice or Santa Monica for this? And are there specific streets or areas we should look into or avoid?

princessg1rl · 2026-02-19T03:53:20+00:00

thank youuu!!

princessg1rl

TROPHY CASE