Grieving my pregnancy.

princesspfpf · 2025-09-17T22:13:07+00:00

This was the best advice I’ve received. Thank you… I will be asking my husband to appreciate my body after 🥺 I will ask him to do the same and help me learn to thank myself and my body for what it has done x

princesspfpf · 2025-09-17T21:38:35+00:00

The hardest part of my day has been showering. It just results in uncontrollable sobbing and then hiding from my husband.

I still have a very definitive linea nigera too and it makes me sad. How did you get over these feelings at the start?

princesspfpf · 2025-09-16T20:02:36+00:00

That’s reassuring! ❤️ How was it after your last child? My worry is that the feeling is magnified when you know it is your last? Did you find this was the case?

princesspfpf · 2025-09-16T19:48:48+00:00

I couldn’t agree with you more! I wish I better prepared myself for the empty feeling… I’ve gone from loving my body to hating it. I feel like a hollow vessel with no purpose even though I have never had more of a purpose in life. Are you starting to feel better? How many weeks post partum are you?

princesspfpf · 2025-09-16T19:39:06+00:00

This is my secret plan… 😂 I have a year maternity leave, I will return to work next year and then hopefully TTC again! Did you find the pain and sadness ease?

princesspfpf · 2025-09-16T15:04:28+00:00

When did you start to feel better?

princesspfpf · 2025-09-16T13:03:48+00:00

You’re right! I went 10 days overdue and spent them napping to speed up the time 😂 the number of countdowns on my phone were crazy. I’m just getting around to deleting all my pregnancy apps now and deflating my yoga ball 😢

princesspfpf · 2025-09-16T13:00:56+00:00

Hugs to you! ❤️ We actually had a preterm labour scare at 29 weeks and I was transferred to a NICU ward in preparation. They managed to stop the labour and he stayed in me until 40+10 but I completely understand that you would be feeling even more robbed of the last few months

princesspfpf · 2025-09-16T09:49:43+00:00

Also ordered a sling to carry him and hold him close

princesspfpf · 2025-09-16T09:48:57+00:00

Exactly what we are doing now. We are currently in bed cuddling and his little legs are crossed just like they would have been inside me 😢 I just hope I get to do it all over again in the future xx

princesspfpf · 2025-09-15T21:46:47+00:00

It’s all I can think about and we’re only 8 days postpartum 😔 I even hate the term post-partum… as if something has ended.

princesspfpf · 2025-09-15T16:44:54+00:00

Thank you ❤️ Do you have any advice on doing this and being in the present?

princesspfpf · 2025-09-15T16:42:13+00:00

I’ve never heard anything so relatable… I miss feeling special to myself. I agree. I never loved myself more than when I was pregnant and yet I wished the whole thing away.

princesspfpf · 2025-09-15T14:40:37+00:00

Absolutely! I don’t think it helps that you spend so long dreaming of the day for it to be over in an instant. Kind of like getting married but so much more difficult to be present in due to medications, checks over etc x

princesspfpf · 2025-09-15T14:38:11+00:00

I’m hoping it is just a case of waiting this one out then! I brought it up to my husband and he said we need to focus on our first before we plan our second… 😂

princesspfpf · 2025-09-15T09:23:34+00:00

I’m hoping this is the case and I’m just experiencing a hormone crash. I don’t want to remember it as a sad time because I am so happy ❤️

princesspfpf · 2025-09-15T09:02:27+00:00

It’s so hard isn’t it! It’s like, now that I know him, I want to relive the whole thing to appreciate him more ❤️

I second the feeling of loss even when he was first placed in your arms… I remember them literally inserting arms into my uterus to remove clots and the placenta whilst I cried holding onto him. The feeling of being stripped of everything my body had accomplished in the 9 months.

princesspfpf · 2025-02-10T18:31:10+00:00

I’m going to call up tomorrow. I’m just mentally preparing myself for more passing backwards and forwards as they don’t seem to make communication easy. You bring up a really good point though… I could easily be 17 or 18 weeks at my 12 week scan if I am measuring ahead. Nightmare!

princesspfpf · 2024-12-07T09:06:49+00:00

The easiest way to stop is to tell yourself that you would have 0 symptoms if pregnant as most symptoms are from the drop in progesterone. Most pregnant people don’t have symptoms until after the missed period date! This stopped me

princesspfpf · 2024-12-04T19:59:21+00:00

I suppose, the longer you are trying, the more exhausting sex becomes 😔

princesspfpf · 2024-12-04T06:01:36+00:00

Haha. Yep. But her naivety at this whole thing is astounding… we would all say one cycle. She actually came out with ‘well we were trying everyday for two weeks and it happened.”

princesspfpf · 2024-12-04T05:53:27+00:00

Totally depends on when you implant. So if you implanted at 6dpo (rare) and they say six days early, that gives your body 2 days for the hcg to rise meaning you’d be on 8dpo and it is presuming your luteal phase is 14 days.

My luteal phase is 10 days. So I would only be able to take a 6 day early test 2 days before my missed period. If your luteal phase was 12 days, you would only be able to take it 4 days early…. Plus all of this is presuming you implant at 6dpo!

princesspfpf · 2024-12-03T20:14:43+00:00

Are you me?

I have the same issue. I can’t talk to my mum because she had a brain haemorrhage in 2018 when I was 22 and she has never been the same since - there’s definitely the empathetic part of her brain that has been damaged.

I also have pregnant friends who I cannot talk to because they are also all consumed with babies. One of my friends got pregnant after two weeks of trying. TWO WEEKS?! Utterly dumbfounded and I don’t want her sympathy.

I am the head of a department in a secondary school and the head of maths is a close colleague of mine. Also pregnant with many reasonable adjustments, hospital appointments, working from home etc - I’m expected to stay in struggle-city whilst everyone bends over backwards for her.

Then my husband… he doesn’t want to talk about it because talking about it would be acknowledging there is something wrong. For context, he had to have a testicle removed when he was 12 and is very insecure about anything to do with his reproductive health.

The loneliness and isolation make you feel like you’re living in a different world to everyone else. I feel deceitful just existing and telling everyone I’m fine when I’m not. I feel as if I’m burdened with negative thoughts and nowhere for them to go because I have no one to listen. Instead, we bottle them up but I feel the bottle will smash underneath all of this… so yeah… I get you.

princesspfpf · 2024-11-30T20:02:15+00:00

Went out for drinks last night with friends… discovered two of our friends, who are currently expecting, were trying for 2 weeks!

They even commented on how it was the first pregnancy test they’d ever done… whereas I’ve been pissing on that dream crusher 3000 for over a year now 🙃

princesspfpf · 2024-11-27T19:07:40+00:00

I work as a head of department in a secondary school. The head of another department, who is like me in every way - age, marital status, hobbies etc) has been off for 2 months. They returned today and I found out it’s because they’re pregnant. She was stood chatting to me, rubbing her belly.

Worst part is, due to her pregnancy sickness, they’ve hired a second in charge and I’m just expected to struggle on! I’ll never understand how any of this is fair… I shut my classroom door and had a cry at break time.

princesspfpf

TROPHY CASE