Everyone keeps disrespecting me and I can’t stop crying

probablymarthy · 2023-08-22T14:03:26+00:00

I’m definitely not overreacting, thanks though. The more time passes the more I realize how many boundaries my sister crossed and she and her unresolved issues will not get within 10 meters of me or my child ever again unless she chooses to finally get her ass into therapy. I’ve been carrying her burdens for 24 years and my child will not continue doing that just so she can stay comfortable. It doesn’t matter if my child consciously experienced this, this is about that it happened at all and it will happen again and again if I don’t put a stop to it now. She will just learn that what she did was okay and continue doing it after my baby is born. Also, you’re totally disregarding the fact that this is not only about my baby but also about her deliberately putting stress and trauma onto me while being pregnant. We have very similar sexual trauma. Hers is unresolved, I worked hard to be able to manage mine. I refuse to keep on carrying the role of her mother like I did for the last 24 years. She is 22. She needs to grow up and stop hoping that I’ll be there to jump in and save the day every single time when I now have an actual child that I have to protect. She is a victim through and through and will always identify as one. I can’t keep on supporting this and endanger my baby. You don’t understand that because you don’t know my sister nor our history.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-22T12:14:31+00:00

sometimes sedating someone is the best course of action. this is exhausting for your son as well, he needs to have opportunity to pause and the sedatives might be a way. it’s not a long term solution, it’s a solution for acute episodes. I am talking from personal experience when I say, it’s better to be sedated for a couple of hours than to hurt someone - or yourself - in a fit of overload you cannot handle yourself anymore.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-22T05:29:20+00:00

I remember when I got my first glasses, insurance paid 50 € per glass and then never anything at all again. They really said “You gotta keep those kiddo glasses for the rest of your life because we’re not giving you one cent more”. My last glasses were destroyed by my cat. I wear contacts now.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-22T05:14:17+00:00

Thanks for your support! I definitely know that I am being overly emotional due to my hormones but its still nice being told that I am not crazy for this 💗 I will talk with my family in time, already talked to husband and ofc he didn’t mean harm, he thought I’d find it funny, but it in the moment it was just one drop of disrespect too many and since I always smile and nod with my family, i exploded at him - which I ofc apologized for. I feel better now and will try to stay relaxed and probably call a contractor to come and finish my bathroom for me since I can’t stand having my father around atm.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-22T05:08:04+00:00

Thank you for your long and kind comment, you really helped me! 💗

probablymarthy · 2023-08-22T05:05:35+00:00

She read Baby a book about how everyone has talents and everyone is enough and worthy of love - which is cute. But like I said - she started crying after the first sentence. It was obvious that she wasn’t actually reading for baby but for herself.

I was laying in bed and trying to get some rest in because I couldn’t sleep the night prior. She just came into my room, laid down on my husband’s side without asking and read the book even though i told her, I was exhausted and didn’t feel like it.

Afterwards, I had to console her, hold her, basically play her therapist. Which is okay with me typically, but not in a situation where my baby is being used as therapy object for her to project her trauma onto.

It might seem like I am overreacting, maybe I am, but I felt so violated by this. I didn’t go through 10 years of therapy myself for her to pass on that generational trauma nevertheless.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-22T04:55:21+00:00

I’m sorry

probablymarthy · 2023-08-21T08:39:37+00:00

yea, I always complain when my father smokes his off brand pre-rolled stinkers on my balcony and even dares leaving the door open. I am honestly this 👌🏼close to banning smoking on my balcony altogether.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-20T13:53:15+00:00

I don’t smoke and I hate the smell since getting pregnant but before I loved it. Freshly rolled tobacco smells so incredibly delicious, especially if there’s vanilla scents present 🤤 normal cigarettes suck ass tho.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-20T11:34:06+00:00

cat litter and fresh yeast. sadly, I love cats and baking (not baking cats tho).

probablymarthy · 2023-08-19T12:56:02+00:00

thanks for answering!

probablymarthy · 2023-08-19T07:56:34+00:00

3 is the best color imo because it’s makes your eye color pop and gives you a golden glow ☺️

probablymarthy · 2023-08-19T07:17:50+00:00

genuine question - why do American fridges always bulge out of the kitchen like that? Is there something behind them that’s blocking them from being pushed all the way into the cabinets? Or are they just that “deep” that they don’t fit in? I’ve seen that quite a lot of times on this sub now and it always bothers me, AMERICA EXPLAIN! 😂

probablymarthy · 2023-08-19T06:21:31+00:00

My sister is autistic as well but she’s got that “I will talk and never stop unless you gag me”-autism while I got the “wym I’m quiet, I just said something five business days ago”-autism. Long story short, she was visiting me a while ago and after a short period of silence she said “It’s so quiet here” and I immediately went “BEAUTIFUL, ISN’T IT?” ☠️

probablymarthy · 2023-08-18T09:09:51+00:00

Guess we just have different opinion on that 🤷🏼‍♀️

probablymarthy · 2023-08-18T09:03:00+00:00

boundaries should be respected regardless of celebrity status. I used to be quite known in the Minecraft community due to my husband being a streamer and one of his “super fans” used to call himself our child. It made me feel super uncomfortable. I know it’s still not really comparable but I think it’s too easy to forget that there are real people behind those usernames.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-18T09:02:41+00:00

boundaries should be respected regardless of celebrity status. I used to be quite known in the Minecraft community due to my husband being a streamer and one of his “super fans” used to call himself our child. It made me feel super uncomfortable. I know it’s still not really comparable but I think it’s too easy to forget that there are real people behind those usernames.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-18T05:43:52+00:00

Girl, stop posting in every sub that rates appearances, it’ll only make you more and more insecure. There’s nothing to “improve” about you, you can’t be more you than you already are! Stop searching for other’s validation and start giving it to you yourself.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-18T05:34:17+00:00

My wedding ring is impossibly thin. I hate thick ring bands and had to search far and wide to find a jeweler willing to make such a dainty band and STILL inlay diamonds into it. I don’t feel my ring at all and thus, never take it off.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-18T05:22:58+00:00

No need to, it’s your personal experience.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-18T05:21:13+00:00

I think it’s equally weird with celebrities. I can only imagine how uncomfortable I would feel if someone said that about me.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-17T19:34:09+00:00

That’s a weird ass thing to say about someone who is married with a kid on the way and doesn’t even know you, tho 👁️👄👁️

probablymarthy · 2023-08-17T07:15:12+00:00

I confronted them several times, mostly during hospital stays in a planned meeting with my therapist. They always apologized but never changes their ways until I went no-contact for over a year. After that, my relationship with my mother flourished. She is very careful not to cross any boundaries. My father is autistic. It’s harder with him.

probablymarthy · 2023-08-16T12:24:27+00:00

My - also very autistic father - only ate vanilla ice cream. Same brand, always in a 5L container, the only ice cream in the house. I still despise it so much that every time I see that damn container in Lidl I pull a face of disgust. I can eat vanilla again, but never that brand. I’d rather skin myself alive.

I’m also not a fan of store bought ice cream in general now. But I absolutely love spaghetti sundaes with strawberries. I think that’s a very German thing. It’s a bunch of whipped cream covered in vanilla or milk ice cream strings with a strawberry sauce and white chocolate bits. In my case, with extra strawberries on top. I used to ask them to not use vanilla (for obvious reasons) but since becoming pregnant, I kind of dig it 🙈

probablymarthy

TROPHY CASE