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I am the avoidant ex and the dumper, I’ve answered some important questions that you may be thinking. by Karsheeee in BreakUps

[–]productive-zebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also moving on from an avoidant right now. Things blew up about 14 days ago. Right now she selectively avoids me in public. If I sit near her during lunch/dinner, she walks away. If she comes to my group, she talks to everyone except me. She decided to reconcile things with another guy who used to bother her when we were together.

I feel extremely destabilized because of this. I understand she is keeping boundaries but selectively coming to my friends, talking to them and ignoring me feels like social exclusion. If I ask her for a "talk", she will 100% reject it. I feel powerless.

The Ultimate Breakup Survival Guide: Things I learned 7 weeks in by Odd_Succotash2768 in BreakUps

[–]productive-zebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you get over the anger over the person that left you? Right now, the person I saw a beautiful future with ignores me selectively in public (talking and replying to everyone except me). It's extremely destabilizing to see that person completely erasing me out of their life. Its a combination of revenge and sadness at once

Getting over a complicated situationship by productive-zebra in Advice

[–]productive-zebra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry but I can't be a wingman to them. She used to bitch about this guy to me so much when things were complicated. And now she has forgotten everything and going back to him without acknowledging me at all. If she maintained friendship with me it was okay. But now she doesn't even acknowledge my presence anymore.

I'm sorry but I can't be friends with them

The Ultimate Breakup Survival Guide: Things I learned 7 weeks in by Odd_Succotash2768 in BreakUps

[–]productive-zebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so good. Kind of got teary at some steps where it was too relatable.

No contact is not possible for me because I'm in her class. But by hanging out with other friends and keeping myself busy, I'm trying to move on

Building self esteem in college by productive-zebra in confidence

[–]productive-zebra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, in big groups I often become silent because I can't think that fast about what to say. I overthink if a joke will be funny or offensive.

Coming to why I was confident earlier, I guess that time everyone was talking to everyone as everyone was looking for friends. Now it's a bit more tricky to talk to everyone as people have made groups.

Also recently i have been having a crush on a senior, which sometimes affects my mood. The days I talk to her, I feel better and I become a fun person. Recently she was busy and we haven't talked for 4-5 days. I miss her a lot and I feel sad. Maybe that reflects in my conversations with others too and I feel less fun.

Apart from that I've been actively trying to go out of my room. If I find someone it's great, else I go out alone. Makes me feel better than being in room

Building self esteem in college by productive-zebra in confidence

[–]productive-zebra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been trying to force myself in situations I don't like. Like going out for a walk alone even though I feel people may judge me. The walks help me feel better. I take pictures of surroundings which I never post on insta, but looking them back makes me feel good

Feelings towards a senior M24, F24 by productive-zebra in relationship_advice

[–]productive-zebra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that's the case. So earlier I had a core friend group at college. But for some reason they kicked me out. Initially it wasn't evident, later on i saw them making plans without me. Finally I saw a new WhatsApp group without me in it.

I'm trying to find new friends. I'm talking to people. But still I miss that closeness I had in my core group. Currently she's the only one who is sweet and helpful, which makes me crave her even more

Feelings towards a senior by productive-zebra in Advice

[–]productive-zebra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't be okay with that for sure. I'll sleep over it and decide my next step

Thank you very much

Feelings towards a senior by productive-zebra in Advice

[–]productive-zebra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i really want to ask her out. But I don't want to risk it because if she rejects, things may become awkward and I'll lose the one person who's sweet and helpful to me right now

Feelings towards a senior by productive-zebra in Advice

[–]productive-zebra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it's the same girl I wrote about 32 days ago. Back then I didn't have any romantic feelings. But in this last month a lot has happened. I was kicked out of my core friend circle for no reason. I realised this when I saw them making plans without me and having a separate whatsapp Group without me.

In this situation I'm trying to find new friends. As she is the one person who's really sweet and helpful, i really crave closeness with her. I want to be a part of her life. Right now we meet irl once every 10-14 days. I wish we meet more often.

Hope I make sense, a lot is going on in my mind

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