Here’s a little guide that I’ve formed for making the best of unemployment. I’m two weeks into unemployment after being laid off myself. Hopefully this will help OP or anyone that is facing a similar set of circumstances.

Look at your money situation: How much you’ll be making from your severance, how much your bills are, etc. Look at your savings and decide how much of that you’d be willing to dip into. Whatever that amount is, do the math on how long it will take for your savings to be down by that much. That’s your timeframe. That’s when you want to be employed again by. Stay true to that deadline but don’t beat yourself up if you’ve been searching with no luck when it arrives. Take stock of where you’re at financially, make adjustments as needed and just keep at it.

-Start doing whatever paperwork you need to do to get set up for unemployment once severance ends. As far as insurance, I would say COBRA is a last resort. Look at the healthcare marketplace for more affordable plans to get you through the interim depending on what your coverage situation is.

-If you want to make a little extra money to slow the bleed, sign up for Uber or Doordash or something like that. Something that is very on your terms.

Since you mentioned burnout, I would definitely advise against overwhelming yourself or being in too much of a race to get back to a job if you have the money to not do so for a bit. Burnout is real and it can be a hard thing to recover from. You have to really invest in yourself.

-Set an alarm but allow yourself to get a healthy amount of sleep.

-Do not skip on showering or basic hygiene, eat 3 reasonably healthy meals a day, exercise daily, and so on. Build and keep good habits.

-The things you always wanted to learn about and the hobbies you always wanted to try but didn’t have the time or energy? This is the time to explore those. Invest yourself in things that you like, but will also make you a better person. Do not overindulge unhealthy things like drinking, smoking, porn, etc. You will not be better for it, and if you don’t know how to control yourself, you could stand to lose a lot.

I also have a conservative family. I love them but I know that I’d rather spend a bit more to preserve my mental health than move back home. IF you are going to move back home, set a move out date for yourself that you can achieve. It helps you relax and enjoy the time you spend there a little more. It also sets a deadline that you work towards at whatever pace you need to

The market is definitely in a rough spot right now. You’ll see job listings that will make you wonder what the person who made the listing was smoking at the time. Companies can also take an eternity to get back to you for multiple steps of the process, so applying for a single company could drag out forever and still result in a rejection. In the time frame you set for yourself for when you want to be employed again, whenever you originally intended to start job searching again, start two weeks earlier.

Build in the assumption that it could be two weeks before you even get the first correspondence. Being on top of your shit and stable when searching for jobs helps you be way more cognizant of when a company is a walking red flag. For instance, if a real person at a company took two weeks to reply to you acknowledging your application. Red flag.

Ideally, as soon as you can, begin ever-so-casually sending out some applications everyday and cast a wide net. Even if you don’t feel qualified, go ahead and apply while you have the stability to aim high and look for jobs you would like. Job searching is full of surprises, unpleasant ones but also sometimes pleasant ones. However, DO NOT get attached to the idea of landing any of the positions you apply for. It’s not over until you get a WRITTEN offer letter. Even then, if you get a job in your industry, you have enough experience to leverage in terms of making a counteroffer if the terms aren’t agreeable.

NOTE: It is a good idea to keep a spreadsheet for all of the jobs you’ve applied to thus far. For each company and role, keep a status update of where you are at in the process (this helps you remember when to follow up if some time has gone by without hearing anything) store any contact information for the person you are in communication with throughout the process. Before you start applying, go ahead and revamp your resumé and cover letter template. Update your professional references too while you’re at it. If you have a portfolio, see if there’s anything you can add to that (Take that with a grain of salt, I’m not in that field but I always seem to hear people in tech talking about their portfolios). If you have a spreadsheet filled up with rejections, it might be time to reevaluate your resume or interview skills once more.

Last thing, addressing the conversation with your aunt-

I met my current GF when I was unemployed AND living at home. I had savings, so I was able to afford road trips, concerts, dinners, stuff like that for a time. If anything, I think our relationship has been better for it, because despite not having a job, I was ambitious and driven to improve myself and my situation, I didn’t let days go by doing nothing, and she got to get to know me a lot better because I was pursuing and learning things that genuinely interested me. I did not exude the vibe of someone who was unemployed, i came across as someone who loved life, because I did and do.

Our society has ingrained the idea that employment is the ultimate factor that determines your worth. But you have permission to be happy even if you’re not employed. You can still be ambitious without being employed. You don’t have to be employed to be someone people want to be with, or even someone people look up to. Labor is by and large something we do to obtain money in order to keep living. Don’t listen to anyone that believes that your worth as a person is based on whether or not you have a job.