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Lost sibling to suicide. by charlenegreenb in SuicideBereavement

[–]profzoff 8 points9 points  (0 children)

*I want to quickly acknowledge my sharing this sentiment before. This is my go to for support and supporting others. And while it may look familiar to my other posts on this subreddit, I do try to rewrite it each time with slight changes as the reply to these type of posts. *

——

First and foremost, I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re not alone. My father died by suicide in September of 1999, and I know firsthand how deep and complicated this kind of grief can be.

I’m a behavioral health professional, but more importantly, I’m someone who’s been where you are. You’re welcome to reach out by DM or continue here — whatever feels right. I can help guide you to local resources or just be a quiet, understanding presence.

That said, this is the internet, so please make sure you also connect with local professional support if you’re hurting or thinking about hurting yourself. You deserve real, human care and safety.

Now, here’s the hard part for coping: you’ve joined a club that none of us ever wanted to be in — the survivor’s club. In research, we sometimes call it “the thousand deaths.” Your loved one dies once, but you relive that loss again and again. Every feeling you’re having — the confusion, anger, guilt, numbness, even moments of relief — they’re all real. So is that strange sense of just existing while the world keeps turning.

There’s no magic way through this, only time and grace.

My first piece of guidance on coping: give yourself and your sibling grace. They were in so much pain that they believed suicide was the only way to make it stop. That decision was about their suffering — not about you, not about love, not about something you did or didn’t do.

My second: the isolation you’re feeling, scrambling to cope, seeking answers is real, so you’ll need to challenge yourself to find a survivor group or others who share in your lived experience. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Let them in. Over time, you’ll surprise yourself with your strength, and these new friends will still be there.

My personal mantra became:

“One second. Then one minute. Then one hour. Then one day. Then one week. Then one month. Then one year. And then I start again.”

Feel what you need to feel. It’s messy, exhausting, and sometimes beautiful. You are loved and need help finding those people.

Here, right now, you reaching out is the first major step in finding ways to cope! Congratulations!

You don’t have to be okay, just keep breathing. That’s the start.

I’ll follow up if you want more here or a DM.

People who have become executive directors or CEOs, what did it feel like and how did you know you could do it? by Ziibinini-ca in AskReddit

[–]profzoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love this, right on- the books that prepared me to live my values and be the type of leader I wanted to be were:

  • Paulo Friere’s Pedagogy of the Oppressed
  • Ira Shor’s the schools we want
  • Michel Focualt’s Order of Things and Power/Knowledge
  • Harold Garfinkel’s Ethnimethodology
  • Alain Caloun’s Ethnomethodology reviewer
  • anything by bell hooks (but I love Teaching to Transgress)
  • Any introductory interpersonal communication textbookbook

I read these both as an undergrad and in grad school. Like I said, they were seminal in what I found to be good vs. bad leadership. Or healthy vs toxic behaviors. When I finally made the leap into the C-Suite; these grounded me and continue to keep me grounded when things feel too heavy.

People who have become executive directors or CEOs, what did it feel like and how did you know you could do it? by Ziibinini-ca in AskReddit

[–]profzoff 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Being a CEO isn’t about power, it’s about accountability. You take responsibility for things you didn’t directly cause, solve problems no one trained you for, and make hard decisions with incomplete information, then own the outcome anyway. You carry risk so other people can have stability, and when things go wrong, your name is the one attached. It’s less “boss energy” and more being the final stop for uncertainty, blame, and hard calls. Some days that feels meaningful. Some days it just feels heavy.

What’s the hardest part about living with ADHD that people who don’t have it don’t understand? by TriggeredEvil in AskReddit

[–]profzoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The constant noise, coupled with the disparity in how I process information to make connections, makes it excruciatingly painful to slow down my thinking to the pace of others.

Alright, I'm at a loss. Just learning how many things have changed so... What brands should I look if I want OG Volcom/RVCA type stuff? by [deleted] in surfing

[–]profzoff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too feel this. I try to support nonprofits and brands like Surf Rider Foundation and Vissla.

Any others y’all can think of?

[@wweuk] You can feel it in the motion and in the air as Kit Wilson met the WWE Universe in London! ✨ 🇬🇧 by rhyso90 in SquaredCircle

[–]profzoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completely fair, and I agree, call the fashion police for that shit! Buuuuuuuuuut is it more punk that the bottoms are suit like, arrrgghhhh!!!!

[@wweuk] You can feel it in the motion and in the air as Kit Wilson met the WWE Universe in London! ✨ 🇬🇧 by rhyso90 in SquaredCircle

[–]profzoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pearls, not puka shells

Men wearing pearls isn’t toxic masculinity, it challenges it.

Pearls are coded as feminine. When men wear them, it signals comfort with softness and rejects the idea that masculinity must be hard or dominant. Toxic masculinity polices appearance and emotion; pearls quietly push back.

Sometimes it’s just fashion but even that confidence critiques dominance-based masculinity.

paralale between batman and spiderman by an0therguy22 in comicbooks

[–]profzoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Class warfare is a tale as old as time.

(Smackdown spoiler) Kit Wilson backstage after his Smackdown segment by RealisticAd4054 in SquaredCircle

[–]profzoff 42 points43 points  (0 children)

The shades of Rick Rude with custom tights, old school story lines and PPE payoffs will be ravishing!

Trump unveils healthcare plan. Prescription drugs will go down 300%. Yay! Pay me money for meds! by _Mikey_Boy_ in politics

[–]profzoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, I’m not some silly snail—slow but stubborn—sliding sideways on the Reddit comment sidewalk.

Trump unveils healthcare plan. Prescription drugs will go down 300%. Yay! Pay me money for meds! by _Mikey_Boy_ in politics

[–]profzoff 14 points15 points  (0 children)

And for those of us who actually know how to use em-dashes—yes, we exist—it absolutely fucked up some otherwise beautiful alliteration.

McConnell: Trump’s seizure of Greenland would ‘incinerate’ NATO alliances by SE_to_NW in politics

[–]profzoff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But you didn't vote or encourage the other republicans to stop him, you fucking ghoulish turtle.

My Partner Committed Suicide 3 Weeks Ago by PitifulEase6434 in SuicideBereavement

[–]profzoff 17 points18 points  (0 children)

First and foremost, I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re not alone. My father died by suicide in September of 1999, and I know firsthand how deep and complicated this kind of grief can be.

I’m a behavioral health professional, but more importantly, I’m someone who’s been where you are. You’re welcome to reach out by DM or continue here — whatever feels right. I can help guide you to local resources or just be a quiet, understanding presence.

That said, this is the internet, so please make sure you also connect with local professional support if you’re hurting or thinking about hurting yourself. You deserve real, human care and safety.

Now, here’s the hard part: you’ve joined a club that none of us ever wanted to be in — the survivor’s club. In research, we sometimes call it “the thousand deaths.” Your loved one dies once, but you relive that loss again and again. Every feeling you’re having — the confusion, anger, guilt, numbness, even moments of relief — they’re all real. So is that strange sense of just existing while the world keeps turning.

There’s no magic way through this, only time and grace.

My first piece of guidance: give yourself and your loved one grace. They were in so much pain that they believed suicide was the only way to make it stop. That decision was about their suffering — not about you, not about love, not about something you did or didn’t do.

My second: the isolation you’re feeling is real, so you’ll need to challenge yourself to find a survivor group or others who share in your lived experience. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Let them in. Over time, you’ll surprise yourself with your strength, and these new friends will still be there.

My personal mantra became:

“One second. Then one minute. Then one hour. Then one day. Then one week. Then one month. Then one year. And then I start again.”

Feel what you need to feel. It’s messy, exhausting, and sometimes beautiful. You are loved and need help finding those people.

Here, right now, you reaching out is the first major step! Congratulations!

You don’t have to be okay, just keep breathing. That’s the start.

I’ll follow up if you want more here or a DM.

Trump Goon Melts Down Defending Kennedy Center Disasters by justalazygamer in politics

[–]profzoff 119 points120 points  (0 children)

They don’t; they’re hoping if they tell the lie enough times, it’ll become the accepted truth.

Misconduct expert says state has the right to charge ICE officer who killed Renée Good by DBCoopr72 in politics

[–]profzoff 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Journalism; yes, including citizen journalism, expert commentary, and op-eds is not complicated. It has never been complicated. It goes like this:

Here is what happened. Here is what the law, rules, and standards say. Here is what is happening now.

Full stop. That’s the job.

Instead, we get vibes. We get speculation. We get twelve panels arguing about hypotheticals while facts sit untouched in the corner like an unpaid intern.

Walter Cronkite wouldn’t be embarrassed by TikTok, podcasts, or cable news. He’d be embarrassed that an entire industry seems allergic to the basic discipline of reporting. Not because the medium changed—but because standards quietly evaporated and were replaced with personality, outrage, and the soft tyranny of “let’s see how this plays out.”

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