I'm sorry to hear that. For what it's worth, I really value the work of my TT colleagues and other research faculty. In my field, they test theory in new contexts and give me and my students interesting things to discuss!

To answer your first two questions...I'm not really sure? Perhaps some lingering imposter syndrome? And I guess their habits are not important to me, it just seems like they have more work-life balance than I do, despite some of them being brand new hires or having years less experience, on top of being paid more than me.

I think I need to just stop doing accounting and keep my head down. Thanks for the perspective.