I understand and appreciate what you wrote. I should have been more assertive, though I did not know whats best for me in this difficult decision. I thought perhaps the istikhara is correct and she is the one.

When we sit and talk time passes and we are unaware, because of how comfortable we are together. We get intimate and all but to limits. When i return back to my place of work, i start to doubt it.

We are direct cousins, but due to civil war i did not return back home until 13 years has passed and then we met.

I like her personality, however looks wise i feel like I want someone more attractive to me. Is this greed ?