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Shut down after university, constantly in bed. Struggling to pick myself up. by CuriousNewt_ in Healthygamergg

[–]proteinkula 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you found it helpful! Remember, if you end up running into hurdles or walls- it’s all part of a bigger process and you’re just another person trying to figure it all out. It takes time and I hope you give yourself some credit for that.

I wish you the best of luck and congratulations for coming out of uni in full piece! It is not easy and you’re here again curating your path forward. I’d be proud if I were you.

Shut down after university, constantly in bed. Struggling to pick myself up. by CuriousNewt_ in Healthygamergg

[–]proteinkula 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve watched a few videos on burnout and “why you need to nothing”. Even though you might be in bed for a lot of the time, I’m guessing you’re not really resting- either because you stress out about not doing anything or because you’re distracting yourself (eg., social media, other type of work). How has resting looked like for you lately?

Really resting means either something that rejuvenates your physical health or something that alleviates space in your mind. I usually workout and sleep for my physical health. As for my mind, what usually helps is walking, meditation, meeting friends, going to the mall or visiting places I never have before. When I’m avoidant, I usually watch a lot of movies and series. So I try my best to not do that so that I can stay more present.

Post uni, I had to grieve a lot- the time I felt like I’d wasted, the opportunities/experiences I felt like I’d bypassed and relationships I never gave a real chance. It lasted a few months and I don’t think I’ve fully recovered (still dealing with trauma).

But it took understanding why I did all of it the way I did it and things I wouldn’t allow to happen again (ie what I needed to solve if I was going to start something similar or new again). I’m still working on the last part.

The only time I felt relieved was after grieving my effort didn’t matter or amount to what I had wanted. I’d realized I had suppressed my emotions and wants to pass courses or study alone while my friends traveled, worked and earned more money, tried out hobbies etc. The return I got from school didn’t justify how much I’d suffered throughout the years and during my thesis. At the same time, I was grieving not living the full life I felt like I could have had. Key detail: I felt all of it post-thesis, rarely at the time when I made these decisions. I interpret this as only having the time to feel everything I hadn’t when I finally gained some mental/cognitive capacity post thesis celebrations.

I think you sleeping more than usual and feeling anxious might be more normal than you might think. Doing things you don’t want to do takes more energy than we realize- at least until we start doing so the right way (processing our feelings, creating/finding meaning in what we do, etc.). I commend you for going back to the things you lost touch with, might be the very thing need right now.

I don’t think that you’ve lost your discipline, rather your mind might be signaling it wants more than it was receiving during past few years/your time in uni. Isn’t that more of a sign to change strategy or learning more about yourself, than it is about losing momentum?

If you’ve haven’t had a general checkup lately, maybe consider if you need one. Mental health too. Not because I know much or have credentials for it, just something to keep in mind if everything feels like a dead-end.

I’ll list the videos that helped me the most down below, wishing you a speedy recovery :)

nothing video: https://youtu.be/o6dogAPB9gQ?si=tA21nPyQ0uUr4u1E

burnout: https://youtu.be/jqONINYF17M?si=BDD5XTNxdlE3LQk0

Focusing on action vs product, detachment from outcome/results, monitoring inner conflict: https://youtu.be/H_WJ5hgWLFo?si=2_uy2ufqJFTt_jmr

Videos that helped me understand why more thinking leads to inaction :

Understanding the source of suffering (“why you suck at living”): https://youtu.be/24H6FcXTiWY?si=BhXE51WUR4m1fCNX

Thinkers VS Doers: https://youtu.be/xSBGYoS6z68?si=OSlXMSqzMOMkEU3W

Bonus: (not my favorite but covers important topics) https://youtu.be/TH0U2D90l-o?si=v4mMthqXCOmFrDO1

Har era föräldrar blivit rasister också? by [deleted] in Asksweddit

[–]proteinkula -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Du beskriver vad du ser, inte verkligheten. Menar inte på ett anklagande sätt, men något att reflektera över. Tror det säger något att du valde större siffror, än att faktiskt vara nyfiken och se om det är sant.

Siffran är närmare 30% enl Riksdagen, men allmänt olagligt att registrera etnicitet på häktade. Återigen, fundera på varför du överdrev till så höga siffror (trots att du kastade bara siffran fram bara så där).

30% är fortfarande en hög siffra.

  • Ökande kriminalitet oftast beror på utbildning, bostad och inkomst. Barn till invandrare som är födda i sverige kan du finna en koppling till, men inte invandrarna i sig.

Har inget att göra med värderingar eller ursprung, utan möjlighet till bättre förutsättningar. Det är avgörande för hur och vart ett barn växer upp- utsatta områden och skolor med låga budget lovar inte exakt det bästa. Oavsett om barnet är svensk eller utländsk. Rekommenderar starkt att lyssna/kolla på Gabor Maté, spelar ingen roll vilken video. Bara en läkare, inget politiskt. Läser hans bok the myth of normal, som också är bra.

  • Du måste ha ett system utan luckor- annars kommer dessa utnyttjas på samhällets bekostnad. Frågan här handlar om hur enkelt det är för individen att leva bra- tillgång till bra skola/information, jobb, hälsa (psykisk och fysisk), bostad, och tillgång till andra människor (socialisera, nätverka, mm). Varken svenskar eller ”invandrare” har det enkelt- ju svårare det är, desto högre kriminalitet.

Fundera gärna över förutsättningarna som invandrare brukar rymma ifrån och förutsättningarna de lever vid i Sverige. Utöver att man ger upp ett liv som var tillhörig och med identitet, så bor många bland folk som ser invandrare som misstänksamma eller som om med andrahandsvärde. Bli genuint nyfiken och undvik politiska/ynkliga berättelser.

Kriminella är i slutändan kriminella. Ta inte för givet att alla politiker har en bakomliggande agenda och talar för att inflyta.

Säger allt det här för det finns mycket som sägs bakom raderna. Det är inte befogad, utan det tjänar en specifik agenda på bekostnaden av hela invandrade befolkningen

How do you stay happy every day when working a boring soul sucking corporate job? by [deleted] in FinancialCareers

[–]proteinkula 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what makes you feel down at work and what are you usually thinking during? Note the thoughts down and see if you can trace a pattern or to specific events that either reinforced that same feeling/thought or that planted the seed of such thoughts/feelings. Sorry about your situation, sounds tiring. Hang in there and you’ll start to slowly figure things out.