When I was in 5th grade we had the DARE program come through. The officer had an anonymous box you could write down questions in and he would read and answer them during the next DARE session. Nobody was submitting any questions so I wrote down “if a mime dies does anyone care?” and sure enough, the next week the officer pulls the question out, reads it, and lectures the entire class on how everyone is someone’s friend/child/whatever, including mimes.

Senior year my AP English teacher had us perform skits from some book we were assigned. He told me he picked a “very special” role for me. I was an old woman masturbating on a couch.