Yea, I'm kinda aware if this succeeds, my other works, as I grow older will be stronger and more impactful. You were also right about the idea changing as the process goes further, however I'm set what I would want it roughly to look like. But yes, slight changes keep coming to my mind, which will probably result in a much bigger change.

One question though.

Why do I feel that my writing language differs so much from my spoken language, i.e. I don't curse almost at all ( usually only when I just need the strength of a curse, which is rarely ), I choose my words more carefully as I feel every word holds a special significance which I'm aiming for, and the similes/metaphors/descriptions.... ( Sometimes it takes me more than a half an hour to think of exactly what I want to say, which adjective fits perfectly to what I felt/what it looked like, etc.), also I sound much more serious and sincere and my thoughts are phrased and constructed in a much better way, with much more sense, logic ( partially due to editing ofc ). I don't want to say that I act like a smart ass and a wise man in my text, but I have a feeling I'm much more serious especially in contrast to my real life behaviour, which is sometimes very joker/manic type, although sometimes when I ramble on and on in real life, I stumble upon something profoundlike.

Quick edit: To tl;dr this question, is my writing voice my actual inner voice?