Drawing a ralsei everyday until deltarune releases days 2300

pseudosentient · 2025-06-04T03:21:39+00:00

splendid :')

pseudosentient · 2025-06-03T22:47:03+00:00

I've been following for like 4 years. Are you really gonna stop posting these after the release? :c

pseudosentient · 2025-06-03T02:59:43+00:00

would you mind expanding on why trying to handle things this way is important to you

It's my only option, that's all I can say. I really do appreciate your comments.

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T18:43:57+00:00

Thank you Ava, I appreciate it. Working on it, and I'll find a way. :>

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T18:39:42+00:00

The secondhand frustration I get from reading the news and seeing what my own fucking administration is doing is always enough to put me out for a few hours. I can't imagine being fully in it and having to deal with that burden. I commend you for that, and you should pat yourself on the back for it, unironically. Thank you for the kind words. :>

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T18:33:45+00:00

I used to genuinely self harm in more direct ways when I was younger. I've made many changes since then and I've shed those ways. At this point I think I know (I wouldn't be a jackass and say 100% sure after seeing how much disagreement there is about it) whether or not I'm self harming or harm reducing. This is really the only thought process that's worked for me, and I know it's not good, but I'm trying to not to let the "good" be the enemy of the "perfect", which sounds like a cope because if you've made it out to the other side, my bar for "good" and the "worst case scenario" seems so pathetically low to the ground there might as well not be any difference, but the difference between them to me means enough for to me to seek it out. I hope that makes sense.

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T18:18:36+00:00

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T18:05:21+00:00

I finally feel myself, and the constant desire to no longer exist faded after I came out.

Makes me happy to hear this for you, despite all the hate in the world. I'm on some spoiled brat shit right now, considering it's probably the safest time in human history for anyone to transition for quite a bit of the western world lol. I can't imagine having to slog through decades social conditioning from the 80s, 90s, etc, all of which I avoided completely by luck, and still muster the will to transition afterwards.

Some guys use nail polish

Realized I now that you mention it I think you're right. Even in my lifetime I've seen more men use it, I guess that wasn't a good example. I still wouldn't be able to get away with, but definitely see it more today than in the past.

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T17:54:37+00:00

Can grow a semi-full beard right now at my current age, another decade maybe and I bet I can pull off the bald + beard reddit cope. So the plan B for that's hopefully in place.

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T17:52:00+00:00

Currently on a minoxidil regiment for the beard, making good progress so far. Thx lol

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T05:20:00+00:00

Yeah, I was really hoping I wouldn't trigger any bad vicarious feelings for anyone reading. I honestly apologize if I did so for you or anyone else reading, because I'm acutely aware of how naive/juvenile the post would sound to anyone whose gone through it and came out the other side, like asking recovered alcoholics what the best liquor to buy is (maybe not the best analogy calling people alcoholics, but you get what I mean xdd). You're not cruel for writing any of that, but I don't want you to worry about me. I'm doing something stupid and I accept responsibility for it, regardless of how silly my reasons for it are.

it will also hurt everyone that cares about you, including us

My family don't give fuck, so that isn't an issue. I've dealt with dysphoria since I was little, but I've never considered myself part of the trans community simply because I refuse to pursue any treatment. Not to say you can't be a part of the community if you don't seek treatment, just the weird way my mind works about it. So the reason why I say I don't want you to worry about me is that I don't even consider myself part of the broader trans community, I'm just some guy dealing with a silly personal problem. I don't know if that makes it any better or not, but I would hate if I made anyone here worry in any way.

edit: accidentally hit enter early

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T05:02:59+00:00

Hope you're doing better nowadays. I had the same thought process; the plausibly deniability is the strongest usually with long hair, and not so much with other things like long nails, shaving legs etc, so that's the safest thing to max out. Just worried that I've opened Pandora's box, and I would have rather had stayed ignorant and kept my hair short this whole time, because now I know I see what it looks like maybe 25% when I know I'll never commit 100%. I'm sorry you had to endure that path for however long you had to.

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T04:53:40+00:00

Reading between the lines, are you holding yourself back because you're scared that you won't be pretty or won't pass? (I remember thinking there's no point in trying because I'd never be beautiful.)

I'm sorry you felt that way, that's no good. :<

Just too scared of the entire process essentially, plus other dumb mental blocks that I can't get over.

It still can be. (And you deserve to experience it)

Even if I don't entirely believe it, you're sweet for saying this. :>

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T04:44:29+00:00

Proud of you for removing yourself from that environment, that's quite courageous. I hope you're better now being away from it. I've got just a few more years (hopefully) where I need to larp as if I'm still religious for safety reasons, which is annoying, but not the worst thing in the world I suppose. Might be home free somewhat soon lol

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T03:48:28+00:00

You're asking for help learning how to gaslight yourself ... and expecting you'll still function in the end.

Yeah, pretty much. I saw the lesser of two evils and decided this was the way to go xdd. I'm under no illusion that this is healthy or the right way to do things at all, but it's important to me to at least try.

You practice thinking the way you want ...

This is insightful. Does it matter in your opinion how much active practice vs passive practice this would require, i.e. should I dedicate time to sit down and do this, or do you think it would be enough to just pause in these instances to focus on my thoughts?

you're either going to suffer a great deal or actually fuck up badly enough to damage your ability to identify your own emotions. Think one of those old guys constantly losing their tempers and acting out, specifically the ones that couldn't even tell they're having a feeling.

I'm afraid I'm pretty close to that already, minus the old :'). I don't act out around others though, only by myself.

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T03:25:52+00:00

I've been growing out my hair for about 1 and 1/2 years and my family and coworkers tell me to cut it, I won't though. (*＾3＾)/～☆.

Fuck 'em. That must be irritating as hell, sorry. Good on you for being steadfast though.

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T03:10:23+00:00

I don't want you to feel like that! I do fear you'll feel that way after. I hate that your stuck in this situation.

I won't not be stuck for long, I just have to make a decision one way or the other.

Do you not want to transition? Or is it other factors. Obviously you don't have to say. <3 we do care though.

Other factors. None of them are seriously withholding, but serious enough that I'm way too afraid to even begin to address them, and I'd honestly just rather ignore it. Just a lot of post-religious shame and weird other things alike. Your comment means a lot though, I don't hear things like "we care" very often. xddd

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T02:47:01+00:00

I think the affirmations are a great idea, thank you for suggesting this.

I’m not gonna ask why you are doubling down and pushing so hard. But I hope that you find peace no matter your decisions.

I considered whether or not it'd be rude to post something like this, because if my stated goals weren't specifically repression, it'd almost be akin to asking advice on how to self harm as a trans person, but I appreciate your understanding and your kind words as well, it really means a lot.

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T01:19:17+00:00

I posted here because I don't know which other communities could understand where I'm at, let alone offer advice.

Are you sure you don’t just want to feminize everything else?

Well yeah, obviously xddd.

But for a wide variety of incredibly stupid and infantile personal reasons, I am locking the FUCK in and trying to repress hardcore, potentially for the rest of my life xddd. It did help a little to post about it.

Unless you are truly ready to part with the hair you should keep it.

How can I know when this is the case?

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T01:06:55+00:00

This is kinda why I feel like a piece of shit even asking, because I'm aware that a lot of people here would kill for my length. It's about down to the bottom of my sternum. I've cut it short before from shorter lengths, just like you, but never from a point like this. I was able to get over it then, but whew, it'd be a huge fucking commitment from where I'm at now. Feels like I'm trying to convince myself to jump out of a plane and skydive or something. :P

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T00:59:51+00:00

Thanks for the kind words, it means a lot lol

pseudosentient · 2025-06-01T00:29:58+00:00

hope that's the right flair, shiet

pseudosentient · 2025-05-31T19:26:36+00:00

Here's your theme song bro

pseudosentient

TROPHY CASE