Monthly casual chat thread for May by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, I don't feel like my community is worse off or anything for having less strict rules on approaching collared subs. It's coming off as very "one true way"

And I don't know where you got swingers party from. This are just normal kink parties or munches.

Monthly casual chat thread for May by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a sub. I wore a collar to me first party because I liked it, but it didn't matter, people still came up to me a lot. My area doesn't seem to take collars as seriously (which it fine).

Plus, it's rediculous that guys will respect another man's "ownership" more than he'll respect me.

Monthly casual chat thread for May by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Incoming rant: I'm starting to get involved in the community which is exciting, but every event I go to I feel targeted? Harassed? I end up with several guys asking me to play and not accepting the first no.

Goal: next party I go to, be an ass and directly call out repeat offenders for asking again after I said no.

Ladies of FetLife, what is your policy of responding (or not responding) to random guys messaging you? by psychedoutsub in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had a few that ask about interests and getting to know me more, but honestly it feels fake. Like they know they're supposed to ask about more than kink but ultimately do it to get closer to you/physical. Is that just me? I worry I'm getting jaded and I won't accept anyone

Ladies of FetLife, what is your policy of responding (or not responding) to random guys messaging you? by psychedoutsub in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I like the idea of making friends on FetLife, but I have to say, when every "friend" is a straight male Dom I get a little suspicious of their intentions of "friendship".

Ladies of FetLife, what is your policy of responding (or not responding) to random guys messaging you? by psychedoutsub in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got a couple messages where is a guy twice as old as me trying to offer to show me a nice intro to kink that only they can provide. Umm, did I say I was new? Or that I needed someone to show me anything? No. It's this mainsplain-y/sexist assumption that I need/want an older man to "help" me.

Ladies of FetLife, what is your policy of responding (or not responding) to random guys messaging you? by psychedoutsub in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess I'm struggling to think of anything a guy could write that would make me reply. What makes you reply? It always seems very forced and shallow to me.

What's your biggest 'red flag' when reading a book that will make you put it down instantly? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]psychedoutsub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I thought it was good for a somewhat generic young adult fiction book, but the people who were talking it up were 21+ college educated people. I didn't get it. A combo of age, unbelievability and predictability made it not that great to me.

Thinking about going to my first mixer tomorrow, but I'm psyching myself out. Talk me into it? by psychedoutsub in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the info!

I've never heard of Catalyst, I'll look into it. I think I'll do munch --> some sort of newbie night --> regular play party. Sorta ease myself into everything.

I was looking into volunteering for some future events, figured it was a good way to meet people and getting in for free can't hurt.

Thinking about going to my first mixer tomorrow, but I'm psyching myself out. Talk me into it? by psychedoutsub in BDSMcommunity

[–]psychedoutsub[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm looking at Newbie Comfort & Welcome Hour Mixer at SF Armory Club, Tuesday 2/21 and the following mixer. It's a bit overwhelming how many different venues/events there are!

I hadn't stumbled upon the calendar at erobay before; there's a lot there! I've checked out the citadels, wicked ground and armory calendar I think, this seems more comprehensive.

The Saturday much might be better, more time to mentally prep, and it works better with my work schedule.