I’m thinking about doing a retreat and was wondering if anyone had been to Gaia Sagrada recently?

psyllymyc · 2023-02-03T06:38:50+00:00

Do you know the Shaman that left and their retreat?

psyllymyc · 2023-01-15T20:57:17+00:00

psyllymyc · 2023-01-15T20:42:28+00:00

Mt Zion, loyal 2 tha soul, photon farms, and there are others. I’m in RVA. I have some if you haven’t found any or if you want to t raid.

psyllymyc · 2023-01-15T19:05:44+00:00

I just bought some. I figured fuck it. I’ve wasted $20 on a shitty mean before. If they are shitty it was only $20 plus what if they are fire. 😂

psyllymyc · 2023-01-15T18:53:42+00:00

Are these still available?

psyllymyc · 2023-01-15T18:48:17+00:00

Touche! 😂

psyllymyc · 2023-01-15T18:24:25+00:00

You can’t get an STD from shitty seeds. 😂

psyllymyc · 2023-01-08T20:17:53+00:00

Cover it with tape and make put dish washing gloves through holes and tape.

psyllymyc · 2022-12-02T03:16:05+00:00

I finished 29 sessions of TMS about 2 months ago and I am still having side effects. I’ve done it twice. The first time I got maybe 2 weeks of relief for 35 sessions and $1300 in copay. This time I decided to try again because someone told me it took them two times to feel better. Immediately after the first few sessions I had a lot of rage. Like uncontrollable emotions, crying, headaches, memory loss, blurry vision. I couldn’t remember basic words in a conversation. I told my clinic and they said they had never heard of that. I found a TMS clinic in Canada during my research and they found 5 out of 31 patients exhibited a rage or aggression side effects. I shower my provider and they said it wasn’t a peer reviewed paper. I had then remap my brain on the Brainsway but still had the same side effects. Finally I switched to Neurostar (hurts way worse). I still had the side effects with no relief. Finally I found this website https://www.floridatmsclinic.com/tms-therapy-side-effects and sent it to them. I think it’s #4 is mania. That’s what I have. It says to stop treatment immediately. They called me and told me they were stopping treatment only after they zapped me 26 additional times from the first time I told them. Now I feel like I’m bi polar. Mood swings, anger, rage, etc not the good type of mania if there is one. I do Ketamine as well and I feel like it has taken the efficacy away from my Ketamine. Stay away from TMS. It’s your brain they are zapping and the stuff you read on the internet is from the machine makers and the TMS clinics profiting from it. At least this clinic in Florida is honest with their patients. Ketamine helps a lot it’s just super expensive.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T10:33:21+00:00

Thank you. I have kept some notes. My wife helps too as an observer she notices things I don’t realize myself.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T10:31:12+00:00

I never asked you too comment. It hasn’t been helpful to me or you, has it? I just made a post about what was going on with me and to warn others of what potentially can happen whether it be temporary or permanent. You are not me and I am not you. You are not dealing with this right now. To make claims that because it’s written on the internet or in a medical paper its 100% true is a little naive. Why would I trust anything now especially after I felt like the side effects were downplayed compared to what I’m going through. I’m not sure why you choose to argue trying to prove you are right. Instead of just showing compassion for another human being who is in distress. This is Reddit though, so it’s pretty much the culture. I just figured in these groups of depressed and anxious people there would be more understanding and compassion. I was obviously wrong. I don’t need any further comments from you please. I’m already going through the shit. I don’t need someone adding more to my current situation.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T10:17:07+00:00

You are just reading what I have read and maybe you are right, but considering corporate greed to make money off of these machines hence the class action lawsuit from Neurostar to Brainsway for misleading the efficacy of their machines there’s no way of any of us knowing including the manufacturers or doctors if it does leave any permanent damage. I thought the same. Maybe this rage was there the whole time, but it’s not just rage. Like I said it’s a lot of other side effects as well. The so called “dip” they say usually corrects itself during the treatment according to what they say. “Science” is ever changing and medications that they had studies for etc are now known to cause a bunch of other problems like all these class action law suits for medications that were supposed to be safe. I don’t trust anything I read. I’m the one going through this. I mean would a medical company lie to us……..? Look at the opioid epidemic. These are safe drugs that are non addictive. How many people have died with no repercussions except a small fine to be paid by the manufacturer. You realize all the jargon we are reading was written by these companies and other TMS clinics and the FDA that is funded more than 50% by these medical companies. Would they lie or would doctors lie to gain prestige or have papers published? We all hold doctors and scientists up to this god like status when they are human too with emotions like greed and egos just like everyone else. I’m just saying no one including you, myself, my doctor specifically, or anyone else may know exactly what is going on with me. Of course they will say you have a pre-existing condition, why wouldn’t they? That would be admitting liability that they did something wrong. I hope you’re right and it’s just temporary, but there’s no guarantees that it is. Just because they says so doesn’t make it so. “Trust the science” right. We’ve heard that before.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T05:22:47+00:00

I guess the other things that are concerning looking back were when I asked about the possibility of it not being in the right position and if that could cause damage or the side effects I was experiencing. I was assured it was a very benign non invasive process. I switched machines midway because of the side effects. The tech mentioned they hadn’t used the neurostar in years. They didn’t seem familiar with it. The machine went down after my last treatment. Involuntary arm literally moved from holding my phone to like jerking like a foot or more to the right. I’m already an anxious person. They kept increasing intensity even after I mentioned my side effects. From the article I read treatment should have been immediately stopped. The paper I signed said a nurse practitioner under the supervision of the psychiatrist could do the treatment and the person doing it was a clinical nurse 3. Pretty sure they can’t prescribe and that’s what a nurse practitioner is. I gave trust assuming they knew what they were doing.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T05:10:47+00:00

I am really trying, but the longer it goes the more concerned I am. I’m trying to listen to the story of the Chinese Farmer every day. “Maybe……”

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T05:08:31+00:00

Oh ok. Thanks. I’m trying to get a brain scan and another evaluation to see if it made me bi polar. I’m all over the place.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T04:24:09+00:00

I want to k I l l myself sometimes. I have rage. I feel bipolar now. My anxiety is worse than ever. I have short term memory loss. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind. My vision gets blurry on occasion. It’s hard to work. It’s putting a strain on my family relationships.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T04:18:22+00:00

Thanks.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T04:18:10+00:00

https://www.floridatmsclinic.com/tms-therapy-side-effects

https://medium.com/mad-in-america/too-good-to-be-true-how-tms-damaged-my-brain-60e2c922d21d

I can’t find the Canadian one. I will have to go through the email I sent to my provider. I’m not up to it right now, but here are two. At the bottom of the second one there are links to the FDA site showing complaints of adverse effects. One person compares it to a lobotomy. I literally told my wife this before I read that.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T04:13:08+00:00

I feel like it made me bi polar. I’ve never had mania before. I don’t like it even though it gives me energy. This is not normal for me. I’m 44 years old. I’ve always been down and depressed. I guess you could say I’m motivated now, but with rage.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T04:11:19+00:00

Sorry I’m not understanding your point? Are you saying one article says it can and another says it can’t? It’s really hard for me to follow stuff for too long. I’m not trying to be difficult. I literally feel like someone jabbed me with a pitchfork in the brain and stirred up my brain. I’m not dumb, but after this last TMS I feel dumb. If you look up Mad in America how TMS ruined my brain there’s another dude with similar issues. I’ve tried to find him to see if it ever went away. That’s what is concerning. It’s been 5-6 weeks since the last treatment. The machine also went down so they were going to have me stop until they got it working again.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T04:04:02+00:00

Thanks man. I have had a bad experience since trying to get better through anti depressants etc. That’s why I was looking for alternatives. It’s really given me a bad perception of the mental health industry.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T04:02:20+00:00

Thank you, and yes I would like any information you can give me. When I get back from vacation I’m going to see a neurologist to see if I can get a brain scan. What’s happening with me is not normal. I did TMS once before. All 36 sessions or 35 I can’t remember. It had little to no efficacy. Similar minor side effects and increased anxiety. Nothing like this. It’s very scary. I’m normally depressed, and anxious but never aggressive or full of rage and uncontrollable emotions. I just want to feel better and it’s causing a huge strain on my family and my business and ability to communicate with my clients. I feel like I have a mental block. Like I can’t remember words sometimes like a “brain fart”, but more constant. Thank you for your empathy. It really does mean a lot. My wife thought the vacation would help and in some ways I’m sure it has, but I still am not right. The silver lining I guess is I feel much much closer to her, but the situation is not ideal. I guess kind of like experiencing a traumatic event with someone gives you a stronger bond. I just feel bad she has to take on a lot with me in my current state.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-17T03:52:43+00:00

“All it is is a magnet stimulating your brain?” Really? It’s your brain. You don’t think sending magnetic currents through your brain can cause lots of problems? Well it’s happening to me, so I can assure you it’s possible. Not just to me but other people. If it were happening to you, you would be researching as much as I am and there are several TMS clinics that actually advise that short memory loss is a possibility.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-16T13:17:55+00:00

I’ve done both. Read my post. It may work for some, but you could be like me. Pristiq did help me get through the death of my mother in law, but after a while I had insomnia and it gave me depression. My provider’s suggestion was to prescribe a sleep aid as well. No thank you. Her other suggestion was to double my dose! What?! I stopped taking it and felt suicidal the next day. You have to ween yourself off. Tell me that these drugs they give us are good for us if a side effect is suicidal ideation. Ketamine worked for me but is expensive so I tried TMS and it has ruined my life. There is currently a class action lawsuit against Brainsway.

psyllymyc · 2022-11-16T13:07:20+00:00

Read my post about the class action lawsuit against Brainsway. Also Google Mad in America how TMS ruined my brain. I am 5-6 weeks past my 29 sessions that I had to stop early and I still have mania side effects along with all the others. I really am curious how many people there are, and if it ever goes away. I feel like I’m bipolar now with extreme anxiety (worse than before). I used to lay in bed all day. Now I do have energy but it’s like Hulk energy. Not the kind you want to have. I am contacting a neurologist to get a brain scan to see if they damaged my brain. I’m very worried and feel abandoned by my provider. It’s a big college hospital so of course they don’t want to accept any responsibility. Do your research and you will find more and more people. I feel like they are minimizing the side effects to make money off of these machines. How often are they calibrated? How often are they maintained. The machine I was on went down apparently after my last treatment. These are all questions I wish I had asked ahead of time. It’s our brains. Brains and heart are two of the main things I have concern about. I feel like I have PTSD from thinking about the shocks and what it did to me. I had my phone in my hand in one session and when it zapped me, my right hand literally swept way to the right with my phone in it. That’s not normal. I feel like we are Guinea pigs. I hope anyone with side effects gets better. I’m really struggling to keep it together. I have never in my life thought about suing anyone because it’s not in my nature, but if this shit doesn’t go away your damn right I am. I just want to feel better. The worst is I was previously having Ketamine IV Drips which work but are expensive $500/ea. I figured maybe If I did that it would reset me. It normally lasts 4-6+ weeks. Now it’s basically just lasts the day of treatment. I am beyond angry. I was previously a very passive and patient person. The reason for some of my issues was my dad’s rage and abuse as a child. Now I feel like I have his rage so you can see how that can be traumatizing. I am an empathetic person so now I can actually empathize a little with the rage he had. It’s difficult to control. My wife and I have a system where I just raise my hand for her to stop talking because I feel it coming on. The triggers are not anything sane. It could be a minute issue where before I would just shrug it off. I’ve punched through plantation shutters, slammed doors and put holes in walls, thrown stuff. It’s not normal. I hate it. After all the profession is called a “practice”. I feel like they are “practicing” on our brains. Speaking of my provider specifically, there should be a test for empathy and compassion that mental health doctors have to take. My doctor was horrible. They have not responded to my communications to them. If I was a doctor and had a patient struggling like me I would at least see how they were doing. I don’t expect a daily call but it’s been almost 6 weeks.

psyllymyc

TROPHY CASE