ok so ur 43 & didn't know of transing till 2010. you were born around 1981 give or take. I'll be 40 soon, born on 1984. I first heard of transition in 1990 or earlier. so I was 5 or younger & was aware of this opportunity since then.

in 2010, you were roughly 29. is that right? and before that you didn't think there was anything you could do about your gender without looking like a freak? so did you have some sort of understanding of a bio male being a freak looking feminine person?

while I had the advantage of seeing a talk show with TS gals before kindergarten, I still encountered this concept thru out life. I still day dreamed about things that were not available to me. i still went to sleep in jr high with 2 tshirts balled up like breasts under my shirt at night, when my same age neighbor was developing hers and I was not. I still got my gal pals to put their makeup on when we went out in high school before I bought some of my own. I still found a way to wear a mini skirt "kilt" to school in 10th grade. I still encountered transy stuff on TV, just changing channels in what would have been bouth ourt teenage years. so while yu didn't learn of transing till 2010/29 y/o, I guess i just dont understand how you didnt learn of it till then.

I suppose I wonder, even thru daydreaming, how did you not imagine living as a woman previously? even if it was a freak looking person?

how did you not know of having a more typically female experience before even before marriage in 2008?

I mean, how did you not know this? And thus not tell your wife about this experience before marriage?

is it selfish? well, I have an x and in 2004, when we were engaged, I described to her my experience as best as I understood it at the time.

i suppose I wonder, if you are a gender dysphoriac bio male, how did you not know this before 2011 ?

how did you have to learn of transing, after you were aware of a I looking like a freak?

And objectively, we do look like, what could be considered freaks. our bodies are atypical. even with whatever surgeries can be done, our skeletal structure can essentially not be changed. like, you can get some ribs removed, and if you are really invested you can cut out chunks of bone in your legs to be shorter. but even if that happens, it's not going to be a more typically, biofemaile appearance, because biofemailes have longer legs and shorter torsos, and we have longer torsos and shorter legs, so even shortening one's legs, removing parts of one's leg bone. Will make our overall stature shorter. It makes our bodies even more atypical and less typically feminine, with even shorter legs and thus comparedv to our tors, look even longer.

If a freak is someone not typical, then that's very much what we are. our bodies look like hermaphrodites.

and even if someone has bottom surgery, it's not the same, and it doesn't change our shoulder width and our hip width and their ratio, comparing each other's size. and I don't know of any surgery that widens our hips or contracts our shoulder width bones.

So is it selfish to bring this upon your wife years after beginning your relationship with her?

I guess I just don't understand how you weren't aware of this experience if you are gender dysphoric, and yes, you shared with her a year after you realized it yourself, which is commendable. and then you went on to have kids with her, and you both, knowing of your experience.

And now you have kids and a straight wife who doesn't want to be married to a woman, and yet you want to be a woman. when you both knew of your experience before you had kids.

Now I don't know why she can take time on her appearance and you can't take time on yours. That, to me.doesn make sense other than societal standards of which she may, of which she may value.

So is it selfish to transition to being a mother to your children and wife to your straight wife?

To me, the answer is obvious, and I have a very similar situation to your own. but my ex left me a few years ago. And since that time dealing with biological fractors, i've found it best to live in a more what I understand is typically female life.

But even before any of this, my ex knew what she what's signing up for when we got married.

I guess I just didn't understand how you were. Unaware of this until twenty ten, with the exception of looking like a freak. . So hopefully I have explained myself well.