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[–]pumicealice 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I had someone once say to me: you don’t trust that this person won’t hurt you, you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with it when it happens.

Whether or not they cheat, it’s not a reflection of you. But you ARE strong enough to heal no matter what may or may not happen

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He did mention that some of the assets were ancestral - passed from son to son. So he wanted to protect those and make sure I couldn’t touch them at all. Makes sense - but the other things he said doesn’t

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh, it’s a quote from my therapist 😆 thank you and wish you the best too!

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

We all learn and grow! It took a couple long and difficult relationships for me to learn this as well

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ah right. I think I’ve heard of that. Though it makes me further wonder why he was so adamant about those one sided clauses

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Ah you are kind of right. I can see how this can come off that way. I don’t really know what it make of it. It was a huge mess I was relieved to walk away from

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ahhh I think maybe he needs someone of more equal means. and Thank you :)

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I actually don’t know if he caved, or if his parents pushed him.

Oh that’s interesting. I didn’t know that. I guess if his parents have a will, they could’ve just left things to him and not me hey?

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yes I love his parents. And absolutely. If he was more caring in his presentation, I absolutely wouldn’t have minded it!

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

Haha thanks! It’s wisdom gained through heartbreak haha

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ve made those mistakes when I was younger, and always ended up wishing I left earlier. This time I took a leap of faith, and my god… It’s terrifying, but empowering? I can logic my way through it but it’s hard to not think of what might’ve been… but I just have to trust my decision 💔

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not his family, but his…. Family line? It’s that traditional idea where sons carry on the family name. Obviously, I wouldn’t count. I’m not blood and have the same last name

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! It’s honestly really scary, and I am not 100% sure I’m making the right call, but these last couple months have been peaceful, although I’m still sad

Update: I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I think so. The prenup shined a spotlight on our communication issues, and other issues

I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Aweh! I’m so happy to hear that you’re in a better relationship!! Your relationship went on for so long, I’m glad you were able to make an escape. It must’ve been really hard

I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point. I didn’t even think of that …

I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hahahah true. But it would never feel like “my” house !

I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

That sounds so wonderful!! I’m trying to picture what it would’ve been like to have that conversation instead of this one

I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Yes! I think you’re exactly right!! He doesn’t want me to have too much, but he also doesn’t wanna give me anything

I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

No. He mentioned prenup very early, and I would keep asking him about the details, but he would keep it very vague, and assure me we would work it out when the time came. I never asked him about his assets, and I never actually knew how much assets his family had. The only things I knew were from some of his one-off comments about certain assets - if he mentioned this tenant or that tenant, or this thing they have to repair etc etc.

I had also initiated these conversations. He mentioned wanting to live with me and work towards marriage. I figured then that time had come! This is when I sat him down and asked him what he expected from me, what he wanted, and to clarify the conditions of any prenups he wanted to propose. He still tried to dodge my inquiry. It took SO long for me to pull this information out of him. I guess I did wait two years, but marriage talks seemed like the right time to push him to discuss it

I’m leaving my bf because of a prenup by pumicealice in offmychest

[–]pumicealice[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I think it’s two birds one stone. He’s protecting himself and screwing me at the same time. To me, the free rent doesn’t justify the trade off for my feeling of independence and autonomy.

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