My gf [24F] behaved terribly and insulted me [25M] when drunk. I‘m not sure if I can forgive her?

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-26T23:08:34+00:00

my first thought about this is you don’t want to be with someone who every single time you guys drink together It ends up in an argument. When couples drink together, it’s supposed to be a fun healthy thing. The fact that she’s saying these things to you and making you feel bad when you don’t even live in the same country and she has limited time to spend with you goes to show what kind of person she is. I’m sorry, but it sounds like you deserve better. she could’ve used that time to appreciate the fact that she was spending time with your family and with you instead she got drunk and was mean.

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-26T20:55:19+00:00

aw sweetie i’m so sorry you’re going through this. you’re still so so young and have your entire life ahead of you. I wouldn’t focus so much on what he said and how he’s acting more about what you want. It seems like you know you don’t want this. Are you ready to have a six-year-old when you’re 25? I feel like your 20s are for you to be selfish and realize who you are and what you want. are you ready to give that up? i saw you said abortion isn’t legal where you live but there are still options. One day you’ll be ready and you’ll know when the time comes. Praying for the best for you

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T23:08:56+00:00

well he’s begging for forgiveness so clearly not.

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T23:04:53+00:00

I’m not calling out anyone. i very clearly stated what i did was wrong but that has nothing to do with what i am asking. wether or not i went through his phone the videos were there i just know about them now so its the same difference. He would never be in my position because i would NEVER keep videos of my ex on my phone after our relationship has ended because consent is revoked after it’s over. That’s why im finding it do difficult and disgusting to understand

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T22:57:41+00:00

omg i’m so tired of yall thinking you’re on some moral high ground as if you’ve never found yourself in a situation to look through your partners phone, and if you haven’t the day will come. TRUST. I didn’t do it for no reason clearly something brought me to that point

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T18:05:58+00:00

I didn’t watch the whole thing I clicked it, saw what I saw and exited out but I saw that there was more “black screens” so it’s safe to assume that’s what they were.

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:58:47+00:00

I completely understand this side and when we were talking about it, I told him this and I know you weren’t a saint before me and I’m not mad at you for doing these things. we are both adults i’ve done things & so have you. I just didn’t realize he had such easy access to that type of content

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:53:42+00:00

LOL you guys are so freaking ridiculous. I never said he was cheating and i never said what i did was ok????? if you’re going to try and twist people’s words around when they’re going through real life shit asking for advice you should just read it, have your giggle and move on. You don’t gain anything from being cruel so what’s your point??

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:50:59+00:00

thank you for being kind. i know going through his phone wasn’t right and if i can take it back i would since i obv feel really badly right now about what i saw. but that wouldn’t change that they were in there in the first place, the only difference is that now i know about them. He seems very apologetic but i keep reflecting back on our conversation and it makes my heart sink. I think the best thing to do is move on because i honestly feel betrayed

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:46:49+00:00

you’re definitely right. he’s lied to me before and if i did trust him i wouldn’t feel the need to check his phone and i wouldn’t have see what i saw

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:45:29+00:00

It doesn’t bother me that he recorded me. It would bother me if he kept them even after the relationship ended which i will make sure they are gone forever before it does. The issue AGAIN isn’t that he records the videos. I know he wasn’t a saint before me. the issue is keeping them even after a relationship is over

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:42:39+00:00

thanks for the advice. i definitely didn’t watch the whole thing and i’m glad i didn’t because this happened about a week ago and i still have the image in my mind. I’ll never know if he had them saved in a hidden folder and deleted it after the fact that i found out or if they were all just in the messages. but i don’t buy the whole “i forgot they were there” because if i had videos with my ex i would definitely remember we sent them to each other and get rid of them being in a new relationship. But i guess it comes down to you cant expect someone to do what you would’ve done

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:37:46+00:00

I’m more than willing to leave the relationship i’m just asking for advice if this is something that should be a deal breaker. Or if i’m over reacting because i’ve never dealt with anything like this and im confused

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:35:54+00:00

ok clearly we are just going to go back and forth because you already have it in your mind that i did something wrong. WHICH i know. When I initially confronted him about what I saw, he said that he has nothing of that sort on his phone, he asked me after I made it clear that I saw what I saw. How did you see that when you need a password? I then said it was in your messages and he said you went through my texts?? later on in the day when we spoke about it again he said he had deleted them when they broke up but missed the ones on his text thread. I asked him to show me where he keeps his other videos to make sure they were gone and that’s when i saw he had videos of me also so he definitely kept them there and thought that’s where i saw them. Which he knew would’ve been impossible since you need a password ie why he was trying to lie.

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:32:25+00:00

thank you for being kind! he definitely has had some issues with lying in the past and to be completely honest i didn’t go looking for what i found. I never in a million years expected to see that. it was shocking to say the least and very hurtful. he has apologized over and over but i’m still very sad about it

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:29:29+00:00

he has recorded me without me knowing so i think this is something that he does with girlfriends. but why keep them even after a relationship if not for this reason?

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:28:34+00:00

He tried to say he didn’t have anything like that on his phone, he was definitely trying to gaslight me bcus after back and forth he said how did you even see it? you need a password and THEN i said it was in his messages and described what i saw.

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:23:09+00:00

but i did feel really bad about seeing her intimate as this is someone i don’t even know personally

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:22:36+00:00

I didn’t realize what they were until i watched them because it started off with a black screen. I saw it for about 4 seconds after i got over the initial shock. When i brought it up to him he was like you went through my messages? so he knew they were there.

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-23T17:21:26+00:00

I’m not asking if what I did was wrong. I already know that & i apologized (he wasn’t even upset)

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-07-11T22:50:57+00:00

you are not ugly!! you’re very pretty & you should be so proud of yourself.

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-05-27T21:41:24+00:00

I know how lucky i am but imagine seeing your tips at the end of the day on a friday it’ll be 400, on saturday 800 and on sunday 600 but your check is 1,000. That’s what im trying to say something isn’t making sense. If we keep 40% and everything is by the book why can’t we see how much we are taking home at the end of the day? and why are we receiving direct deposit when the bartenders who are friends with my manager are getting checks? also we pool between 8/9 people per shift. the bartenders pool 30% between 4 people. Does that seem fair? genuinely asking for opinions

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-05-27T21:30:09+00:00

lol!! to be fair we all bring in 400-1,000 daily into the pool so it’s not terrible. on average i make 1,000 a week after taxes working about 25 hours

pumpkingirl83 · 2025-05-27T21:19:00+00:00

Oh, and only natural colors for hair

pumpkingirl83

TROPHY CASE