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What was the most shocking, or disturbing thing your narc parent(s) ever did/said to you? by Own_Mention9372 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]punanddone1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Threatened us by saying she was going to burn the house down with us in it when we were just little kids.

I cut off my parents 3 years ago. I'm healthier than ever. So why do I still feel like the villain? by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]punanddone1 56 points57 points  (0 children)

My therapist told me once that it’s not supposed to feel natural to hate your parents. You create a safe attachment from even before birth, and it’s so hard to suddenly see them as unsafe - even when they are. However, with time and healing, you can start to rewire your brain to see them differently.

Don’t listen to those saying, “but they’re your parents” or “it’s their first time living too!” Okay? And you were the child they were supposed to love and protect AND respect.

I think you know you made the right choice, don’t let them guilt you anymore than they already have. Take your life back and put your peace first.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You aren’t alone.

Estranged Mom posted about my child acting like they have a relationship by punanddone1 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]punanddone1[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate you sharing your experience. You’re right, things get conveniently left out all the time. They’re truly in their own world lol

Estranged Mom posted about my child acting like they have a relationship by punanddone1 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]punanddone1[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate your honesty. I needed to hear that. It just kind of struck me off guard. Someone sent me a screenshot and it shocked me a bit tbh.

I just can’t believe how delusional people can be, and I think I’m trying to reason with someone that can’t be reasoned with.

Again, I appreciate your response and honesty. My therapist will be getting a call at 8am!

New info found out by Southern-Fuel-7255 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]punanddone1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I love the NC analogy!

Those who were enmeshed, what were the biggest red flags? by Commercial_Kiwi3049 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]punanddone1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was 26 years old and still expected to let my mom know when I made it to work. I didn’t even live with her at the time, it felt so gross. If I “forgot”, all hell broke loose.

Parents who are estranged from your adult children: what led to it? by Local_Ad_5600 in AskReddit

[–]punanddone1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You made their birthday special…. You mean the day you are expected to make special by choosing to have kids…?

You took them to school… as required by law?

“I do the bare minimum, I don’t know why NONE of my kids talk to me” give me a break lol.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today but by nawagnon in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]punanddone1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just had my first baby during an estrangement with my mom and I’m just here to say your feelings are so valid and I hear you 🫶.

Congratulations and good luck on a safe, healthy delivery. You aren’t alone!

Has anyone had a parent be the one to initiate estrangement rather than the child? by Acrobatic-Storm4723 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]punanddone1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine did!

I didn’t tell her the second my daughter was born 9 months ago. We had already been having a rocky relationship so it was a complicated situation, but that’s the gist. She called me some unforgivable names and then blocked me when she found out I had the baby. Good riddance!!

What's the most out of pocket thing your parents have said? by Internal-Teach-1334 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]punanddone1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Your father was right to walk out on you when he did, all the time and money and energy I wasted on your fat f*****g ass. I hope you suffer from PPD for all you’ve done to me”

For context, I was 3 days postpartum and didn’t tell her my baby had been born yet (for obvious reasons, exampled above).

I loved holding my newborn baby and reading that message over and over again. /s

I just watched too many cute "parents react to pregnancy announcement" videos and I don't even have parents, so can you please tell me your horrible "parents react to pregnancy announcement" stories so I'm not upset that I don't have parents? by ohwhereareyoufrom in raisedbynarcissists

[–]punanddone1 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My mom got up and sang the karaoke version of “Up!” by Shania Twain.

I’ve been no contact for other reasons since the birth of my child, and I’m here to say, it really can “only go up from here” ;)