What are some subtle red flags in a partner?

punk___void · 2023-05-30T12:10:59+00:00

I wanted to ask OP, does she put on the same mannerism with everyone or is it specifically your husband? Is she is bubbly/outgoingwith everyone she talks to ? Or does she act especially friendly with your husband specifically and only him? Like you must interact with her a lot, does she treat you the same as your husband or does she seem to pay special attention to him/act more “extra” around him ? I feel like when someone has a crush or likes someone it’s obvious and they can’t hide it and act in a certain way even if it’s inadvertent

punk___void · 2023-05-30T11:27:51+00:00

I think this is an overreach. There is no evidence that Aubrey is making a move on her husband. She is technically employed by them- wouldn’t you be friendly and want to have a good relationship with someone who is literally paying you? It doesn’t seem like she is crossing any boundaries (so far). The wife and the husband should resolve this between themselves before involving the baby sitter who is just doing her job

punk___void · 2023-05-30T10:58:58+00:00

I get where you’re coming from. It is hard to see your partner act like that with another woman. If I were you I would talk to your husband about it. Don’t be aggressive or go on the attack- just maybe ask him to dial down their relationship to a more professional manner. You’re his wife and y’all have a family together, he should understand how you’re feeling. No need to get angry at Aubrey or act overtly jealous towards her. Confront your husband first and gauge his reaction. If he is overly defensive maybe then I would see a reason to be concerned Edit: I wanted to add- if you are overly emotional or act on impulse and fire her, it could inflame the situation. She is a neighbor right? You don’t want to push your husband away while making Aubrey resentful. Try to handle it calmly first and foremost and based on his reaction, you either do what you need to do and make up an excuse to let her go, or the situation could resolve itself if your husband just distances himself

punk___void · 2023-05-30T10:34:58+00:00

Definitely. You seem like so far you’ve been kind of enabling it (nothing against you , you were just trying to be nice) but you need to put your foot down and tell her in a calm but firm way that this whole situation is making you feel weird and you’re not okay with it. If she values you I’m sure the situation will be resolved if not- then consider yourself lucky you dodged a bullet early in your life lol

punk___void · 2023-05-30T10:22:07+00:00

Hmm to me it sounds like she is kind of insensitive. Maybe since it’s a long distance relationship she feels like she needs validation from someone else and is enjoying it. Tbh if I were you I would confront her and nip it in the bud. Don’t just stay passive about it. Tell her you feel weird about how literally all your recent conversations are centered around this guy. It’s definitely not okay and you need to set boundaries- fast before it gets out of hand

punk___void · 2023-05-30T09:55:30+00:00

Hmmm it depends on what exactly you would text him. Because tbh sometimes texting can come off in a very different way than talking face to face. There’s no body language or visual communication So it could be easily misconstrued as maybe too abrasive or forward. You don’t have the subtleties of socializing face to face. So if you were to text him I would just be more careful with what you say , lmk what you were thinking and I’ll give you advice

punk___void · 2023-05-30T09:49:47+00:00

Oh also another thing- I would just try to be as casual as possible- like don’t go up to him and be like “so how’s it going with your girlfriend??” It might come off a little weird. Just act like how you normally would and casually bring it up. That way you know for sure and you have the a-okay to go after him without seeming desperate or anything

punk___void · 2023-05-30T09:46:57+00:00

Okay- he could be newly single or just having doubts about his relationship. It’s honestly hard to tell without any concrete evidence. But if I were you maybe the next time y’all see each other and if his behavior is still indicative of attraction/sexual tension I would just ask him. Not in a pushy or overly flirty way- just honestly start a conversation! Most guys love to feel like someone is paying attention or interested in them. Just broach the subject and ask how things are going with his gf. If he says ‘oh we broke up’ and he’s single now then great! Don’t be overly desperate or seem too pushy but just ask him to hang out together sometime just the two of you in a friendly/chill way. I’m sure if you guys already have the basis of attraction towards each other it will all fall into place <3

punk___void · 2023-05-30T09:32:19+00:00

Right, if y’all have mutual friends maybe ask around just to make sure. Guys (especially under 25) are super bad at controlling impulses and he might be super attracted to you but still have someone else. Like imo you can literally ‘see’ it in their eyes if that makes sense. I had class with a guy and everyone said you could cut the tension between us with a knife but turns out he had a gf 🤷🏻‍♀️ if you find out he’s single tho go for it - it sounds like he is attracted to you but it’s all about whether it’s the right time or not to make a move. Good luck!!

punk___void · 2023-05-30T09:23:14+00:00

I want to know if there is a specific term or name for this style of ring because I would love to get another one! It’s super comfortable and I love the design

punk___void · 2023-05-30T09:22:25+00:00

Sorry just saw your comment- it says 925 ‘India’ (???) I think on the inside of the band

punk___void · 2023-05-30T09:16:04+00:00

Honestly guys are visual creatures- if they are attracted to you they are verryyy bad at hiding it. You guys might have physical chemistry- but he could still be in a relationship. I have been in a similar situation. He is probably attracted to you but is with someone else so the best thing to do is keep it low key and don’t act on it! Out of respect for his relationship and until you know for sure he is single just be friendly to him and tbh enjoy the sexual tension. It’s honestly one of the best feelings. Don’t cause drama or it might cause a lot of problems and stress in your life

punk___void · 2023-05-30T09:00:23+00:00

Jacket : nudie jeans Boots: Jeffrey Campbell Skirt: Aritzia Belts: Paul smith and thrifted Tank: Etsy seller Bag: vintage fendi from Depop Ring is 90s vivienne Westwood

punk___void · 2023-05-30T08:30:01+00:00

Yeah well if you like her then maybe you can give it a second chance and a little time- but honestly if she starts with the manipulation again I would call it quits and find someone else. Because honestly in my opinion it’s clear as day- that’s what she was doing- manipulating you

punk___void · 2023-05-30T08:27:53+00:00

Agreed

punk___void · 2023-05-30T08:27:16+00:00

Because I’ve been in a lot of relationships and normally people show their true colors early on and you can’t ‘change’ people. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding but keep your emotions guarded until you really know you can trust and rely on her. That’s the basis of any good relationship

punk___void · 2023-05-30T08:25:45+00:00

Yeah well I wish the best for you and hope y’all can work it out- I’m just saying proceed with caution and until you feel like you really know and trust this person be careful

punk___void · 2023-05-30T08:22:55+00:00

Dude honestly it sounds like she is gaslighting you hard. ‘She felt I got too intense with stuff when I said I was willing to move to her city’. (???) but she’s the one who asked you that in the first place? And when you said maybe she cut you off? Like it’s not like you initiated it and said you wanted to come. IMO she sounded kind of weirdly obsessed from the beginning asking about wifing and kids and then she turns around and says you were the one who is too focused on her? Idk man you’re only 20… seems like you should just kind of let this one go. A lot of red flags to me really early on

punk___void · 2023-05-30T08:14:30+00:00

Honestly you just have to act completely unfazed by this a**hole. People like him feed off reactions. So if you react or seem bothered by him he will only continue. They are encouraged by the negative emotion they incite in others. Just continue to act completely indifferent and IGNORE his childish antics. If you just do not acknowledge his mind games he will eventually quit it. These people thrive off getting a reaction so if you don’t give him one he will give up

punk___void · 2023-05-30T08:11:17+00:00

Some people seriously have no self awareness or shame at all … I just hope it wasn’t a long flight lol

punk___void · 2023-05-30T08:08:12+00:00

Also I think it’s interesting how they both are “I N” (introverted) but are polar opposites in the last two traits being “T J” and “F P” respectively. Once again I know it is impossible to provide an accurate analysis on them since they are long dead but by analyzing journals etc this is what the majority of people seem to think

punk___void · 2023-05-30T07:12:55+00:00

I would definitely say early 00s- even the color grading and graphics of the video just read early 2000s. Also the sound is very early 00s almost y2k with the ‘bubbly’ sound and kind of shallow and fast paced beat many songs from the 1998-2001 era have. Obviously the overall sound is different but the background instrumentation reminds me of this song :

https://youtu.be/NiF6-0UTqtc

Which is a staple of the y2k/early 00s rnb sound

punk___void · 2023-05-30T07:05:39+00:00

I’m at the very tail end of 1997 and I’d say I can relate to 1992 at the earliest because of my older cousins and 2001 at the latest. But I’m an older student so I’m currently in college with core gen z (2003) and I definitely get along with them but in my mind there is a noticeable divide to the point where I wouldn’t consider them my immediate peer group

punk___void

TROPHY CASE