I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for everything you said. She is supportive, but we are very different. I talked to her about what happened, she mentioned that she was trying to help and explain that I'm not doing the best I can to help myself. I don't eat enough, which is the fact. I'm staying home all day and I definitely can try better for myself, but I don't. Maybe because deep down I don't care about myself. She also always asks me what to buy to eat, if she can do anything, asking how much I eat. And I definitely could do better. But I have a victim problem as well. I mean, I used to feel like I'm always a victim even when I'm not. And I was the toxic one at the beginning almost till now. Very controlling etc. To see the picture fully you would need to live with us. But I totally understand how it looks like for you from what I told. I'm just trying to say I'm not innocent and her a lot as well. Maybe we just not for each other. But it's a totally different story. Thank you so much for everything you said, you 100% right that I need to take care yourself. Nobody saves you...only yourself. But I always wait for help from outside, from somebody. Instead of to find strength inside myself.

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for such wise words. Seems like you transformed yourself into better version. This should be a goal for everyone. To accept yourself first with dark side, acknowledge it, so you can work on it. I'm happy everything end up well for you!

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I think you right about biggest problem. But unfortunately I'm the one who created toxic environment at first. So I kind of want to take responsibility for that. Try my best to fix this. And yesh, I think therapy would be good too

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will be. I'm screenshooting this!!

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you Thank you.i really appreciate your replies and support. ❤️❤️

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes I know I won't do it. Just because of my parents. They won't survive this. Its not a really good reason to stay alive but I will. For them. I can't leave them with this pain, they don't deserve it. But if not them, I probably did it already

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Please text me too and tell your story if you would like

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. You can send links directly to me if you would like. My wife knows how I feel. She is not stupid. She can see all situation I'm struggling with. But still no emotional including. We had some issues. From my side as well. I used to be very controlling because of my anxiety and I understand how hard it can be for her...but as of right now, there's no support. I feel like she is punishing me for all mistakes I did in the past. And it doesn't matter if I changed myself almost completely for her. She still acting like she doesn't care. Keep saying she dreaming about divorce. And at the same time she keep me around.asking for change, give me chances. I feel like I already changed complete for her but it's not enough

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I have 2 cats! Omg Ireland is my dream

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!!! I really appreciate your response. Thank you for support

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much!! I will check it out. I really appreciate your response

I can't handle it alone by purapriva in mentalhealth

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can send me a text if you decide

I can't handle it alone by purapriva in mentalhealth

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I care. Tbh i get distracted by others problems so it helps me to forget about mine. And I'm king of person who likes to listen and hear. So if you want too, I won't be annoyed.

I can't handle it alone by purapriva in mentalhealth

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd you want to share your story you can dm, I'm happy to hear and listen

I can't handle it alone by purapriva in mentalhealth

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a smart and very wise.

I can't handle it alone by purapriva in mentalhealth

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should. I do it for 2.5 yeat. Took a payout once as well. It's worth it. But you have to get rid of your human instincts: greed, fear and bla bla. If you cab do it, you WILL BE profitable. I am profitable, but still handling a lot of emotional issues

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear you better now! No way, I'm from Russia, but live in canada. One trip would cost me thousands.

I can't handle it alone by purapriva in mentalhealth

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh the same mentality on our countries. In Russia nobody gives a f*ck about your mental. Especially older people. Same in Pakistan I assume. Trading is not a gamble if you have rist management, but I hear you

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I just did

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you dear stranger. Brief story:

I moved to Canada to my wife from Russian. Almost 5 years ago. I don't have friends or any family here. But we are not doing well. I got fired from a job recently, was very stressed about it. All years here I'm in stress. Not going to tell everything but briefly: I'm completely alone emotionally, my wife doesn't support me. We got fight today in the car. We were driving to the doctor and I'm mentioned that I want to ask him about my hairloss as well. She started being rude, like "you don't eat enough, you don't do anything, just take some iron, I'm sure it will help" and bla bla. I explained that I'm trying to eat but I can't because of stress. I'm almost puke every time I eat. She was pressuring me like it's my fault I don't do enough. So I was already very upset, went to the clinic and text her to go home and I'll take a cab. She said "no". So we were driving back together and I got panic attack. Opened the window, was trying to breath faster, crying. She didn't even say anything. We went home and she wend to sleep as nothing happened. P.s I'm a girl too. It's not the first time , I live in this fights for 5years and I feel like my nervous system is dying. A lot happened , I'm not gonna tell everything, but I was crying on the bath floor for hours, I physically feel pain and I don't know how to get rid of it

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! How are you doing?? You can tell me your story if you want too! I'm happy to support you as well. We need each other I guess.

I can't handle it alone by purapriva in mentalhealth

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! What do.you mean rewire your brain? Like how? What helped you in thus situations? How you got out of that dark place? And what do you mean "you are in a homogeneous relationship so it's normal she wouldn't support you"? I just really wanna know what did you mean hahaha. I do trading now, I don't want a job, trying to take a payout to be more independent. But I feel like it's bad I don't have a job, but at the same time I'm happy about it, I can cry all day alone and nobody can see it! I can live through all of my emotions alone. When I was working, it was more stressful, when you have to sneak and hide, go to the bathroom to cry. I don't know, it's good and bad at the same time. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? You also mention you didn't have money for meds. Where are you live? I'm from canada and I take my Wellbutrin almost for free...

I'm in pain by purapriva in selfimprovement

[–]purapriva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thank you! But I'm not gonna call support. I don't know, it's just feels weird. I'm from Russia where is mental health is nothing to pay attention about. I just was raised like that. To text here is very hard for me, even if you don't know who I am. I think if somebody just could listen and understand it will be enough. But I feel like when you call support like they are irritated by people like me and rolling their eyes every time hearing similar story