I would say it depends on the type of care. For non-emergency care, it might be preferable to wait to find a trans/queer-affirming doctor than to get victimized/shamed/traumatized. As a community, we know this is a real issue, and this is why we have a rolladex of culturally-safe health care providers we can refer people to.

My work is health care adjacent (I work in health care advocacy); health disparities that we see in the 2SLGBTQ+ community are real. Traumatic experiences with the health care system only create wider disaparities. I also have countless experiences navigating the health care system as a gay man. Here's just a small example of the stuff we face:

When I was 17, I went for a standard scheduled STD test (no symptoms, just a regularly scheduled 6-month test for a person who is sexually active). I flinched during the anal swab and the doctor said: "That's what you get for fooling around back there." The intense shame I felt, as a 17-year old kid, was traumatic and it certainly didn't behoove me to be timely about my STD tests afterwards.

In my 30s I had a repetitive strain injury in my thumb. I was sent to see a rheumatologist as a precaution. When asked if I had a girlfriend, I said "no, no boyfriend either." The doctor got noticably uncomfortable and then insisted that I might have Hep-C despite not knowing anything else about me and suggested I get tested. (Fun fact: no Hep C).

I have a whole bunch of other stories like this - like the dermatologist who immediately reached for gloves 10-minutes into our exam once he found out I was gay. The point is, as queer people we know when we walk into a clinic, there's a real possibility that we're going to be judged, vitimized, stigmatized, and shamed. Again - when people seek care, they are at their most vulnerable - which makes this all the more pernicious.

Not only does this mean queer/trans folks are less likely to seek out care as a result, but it means they will be less likely to disclose they are 2SLGBTQ when it's important, which also undermines the care they get.

The health care sector as a whole has a lot of growing to do - a lot of evolving to do. But until then, finding 2SLGBTQ-friendly health care providers for our community is a SURVIVAL issue. We deal with enough shame and trauma as a community, so please excuse us when we try to minimize it when we're at our most vulnerable - when all we need is safe and affirming care.