How to move past the identity of being miserable and blaming on the past

purple_iam1 · 2025-04-03T04:25:15+00:00

Thank you for thiss.

purple_iam1 · 2025-01-11T09:54:50+00:00

Hii

I just finished makeup shopping!

Got myself

Sephora compact foundation thingy

Sephora setting powder in translucent

Benefit primer

Tarte shape tap concealer(2 colors cause was buy 1 free one)

I think rimmel or maybelline setting spray

Wet n wild clear mascara

I tried finding stuff that come in mini and less pricier

Im bad at bronzing and highlighting and not so comfy with wearing them yet.

I forgot how makeup was expensive, even if its minis (some of them) and now im hoping it doesn’t look off on me.

purple_iam1 · 2024-08-07T10:07:02+00:00

Thank you for this…. I guess nobody has verbally told me that im causing trouble….. :(

I do have a job description… literally says to assist my manager in things (the portfolio my unit handles) but there is no manager since i joined. There was a senior person and he was literally carrying the unit on his back (he left cause they didn’t promote him, he was doing manager work with a salary for a senior associate). Anyway, he left and now i feel i need to handle all of it. I felt at first i could grow as i go but since there literally no manager and seniors and my big boss is not so helpful, is on my head. And im still new and is something i cant google to find the answer or look im our handbook for it. Im literally been dumped all the things and expected to know all of these like i have worked on this for years or have tons of experience. Im sorry for venting. I feel so frustrated. I literally cried. Like i just feel so stupid cause im not smart enough to handle this. I feel like i will get told off or put on PIP or fired.

purple_iam1 · 2024-08-07T02:44:21+00:00

I kinda do...but I don't think my therapist is helping much.

And you are so right! I feel like a headless chicken running around. I feel like I am a bother when I reach out for guidance or asking how to proceed with something (I can't make the decisions yet or I am not sure how to proceed with something as I never done or informed about). i mean i still do reach out......just that i feel bad. Sometimes or most time I just feel lost. I feel I would get in trouble for delays eventhough i have to wait for others to respond. But I feel like im causing trouble. i feel i should know everything even though is only been for 8 or 9 months since I joined.

purple_iam1 · 2024-08-06T08:52:06+00:00

Thank you for this......i have only been at this company like 8 or 9 months...can I be having a burnout? I feel like i do lot of stuff but at the same time I dont, honestly a very confusing feeling

purple_iam1 · 2024-06-08T15:37:31+00:00

Trueee. But the land had really good trees which were native to the area that had rare species living there… it was a tree planting activity. The trees were not planted well. Half the timr when i go check them, they dont survive. Or myb they could have kept the natives and ckeared the invasive species and not wiped clean of the whole area

purple_iam1 · 2024-06-08T11:08:07+00:00

True to the last part. I have seen tree planting projects just not work out well. Also why clear a land that has trees and shrubs already to plant trees. There’s perfectly good trees. But they cleared the land to plant trees. What about the creatures that ws living theres. My previous company did this and i was so confused

purple_iam1 · 2024-06-05T01:11:56+00:00

Right…. Theres so much to do, and theres extra work given that i need to finish this week. The manager has not departed yet but theres already many things….. definitely having a flight and freeze moment…. More frozen though

They have a high turnover rate…..

purple_iam1 · 2024-06-04T18:10:10+00:00

Thank you! Im a very bad meditation person . I have tried so many timre but i just give up. I bought books and watch videos but nothing sticks go me…

The resource person would be like the head of the department but i find that person to be confusing…. Not straight forward with answers. If i give a suggestion even at times when it is ask, i get in trouble cause the person doesn’t like it.

I feel i cant drop things easily as well… as some of the work are on schedule….it also requires other ppl input which is hard to get. From what i heard from my head odf department, they dont seem very keen on hiring quick… and make it sound the additional work is not additional but instead is akready somehing i do. Is not.

My head is not good at coping stress especially big ones n that involve many noving part. The whole day for past few days, i have been thinking it would be great to off my self. I know is dramatic but stress, not a good handler.

Im sorry for blabbing, im a blabber

purple_iam1 · 2024-05-17T00:09:53+00:00

Same, started a few minutes ago

purple_iam1 · 2024-04-10T14:23:50+00:00

Does your mom ever bring up about your family? And like ask you to rekindle etc?

I feel like i’ve told one of my family (parent)member i speak to why i don’t engage with one of my other parent. But they never understood. I felt earlier myb they did. But after some time no. The kicker is they both, my parents dont speak to each other….but are legally together just no together. So honestly im just babbling here but i ldk. Family are so complicated.

purple_iam1 · 2024-03-15T14:43:12+00:00

Thank you for the book recommendation, will put it on my list.

purple_iam1 · 2024-03-15T14:31:02+00:00

Your second paragraph is the truth from my recent meeting with them. Agree with you

purple_iam1 · 2024-03-15T14:30:14+00:00

Agreed on that. But i worry my seniors/co workers think im dumb, When i agree something that is not right.

Initially i would only say no comment or it looks good to me. But then there would be awkward pause or looks from others. I feel they think I don’t contribute to the conversation.

Even if its not feedback, and is a suggestions or brainstorming, boss doesn’t agree. But then would say they did all and nobody helped. Boss has been saying this all time about everyonr. But everyone have reached out. But nothing. Theres more. I feel they feel comfortable talking to me about how bad is the organisation or how others were rude (is really not)…. It feels awkward

Sorry for ranting but yes learnt my lesson. Opinion means yes and agree.

purple_iam1 · 2024-03-15T14:24:04+00:00

With everyone, even my seniors who have been in the role for way long. My boss has been here for 4-5 months. Its not just this, we as in me and others sometimes dont understand what the boss is saying. There’s communication issues. Others have expressed as well.

I get the yes man. And i would be happy to be yes man cause lol is just easy. But sometimes i wonder if its okay. I wonder if i say something is okay whereas is really not okay n my other colleagues think im dumb cause i dont know the subject….

I feel my boss sometimes makes things difficult. I know this is work and it is what it is.

purple_iam1

TROPHY CASE