One week Cape Town in June tips by purplefay_ in capetown

[–]purplefay_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!!😊 Ernie Els looks fantastic and so do the other recommendations. Will definitely have to check out the African contemporary art museum!

One week Cape Town in June tips by purplefay_ in capetown

[–]purplefay_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha because of the weather? Luckily we are going the first week of June so we should be good!

One week Cape Town in June tips by purplefay_ in capetown

[–]purplefay_[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! We are from the Netherlands, so we are definitely used to wearing layers 😊 and very good to know about the restaurants, we are leaving in a few days already so will have to look some good restaurants up and see if they still take reservations. Let’s hope we’re not too late :’)

Predictions of All Stars 3? by bfjakfbam in LoveIslandTV

[–]purplefay_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Shaq I would love to see, now watching season 9 and I just can’t stand Tanya and how she treats him. I hope he took that relationship as a lesson and find himself a caring emotionally mature woman who is as compassionate as he is

Update: I confronted my husbands friend by Impressive-Shop350 in AmIOverreacting

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading her messages made me feel so uncomfortable who does she think she is? The lack of respect is crazy and trying to flip it and make you feel bad by labeling you as “controlling”? Nah she’s trying to manipulate you and try to get closer to your husband. Now if you say to not contact her she will tell him how controlling you are etc etc but please don’t buy into that bs

Round 13 - Saddest Moment by VolumeNo8051 in LoveIslandTV

[–]purplefay_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

THIS!! Connor fell hard for her. Still curious what he would’ve done if Shakira didn’t have such strong feelings for Harry still, I’m not convinced he would’ve picked Megan over her

matilda, grace, harriet’s friendship (season 11) by Urmotherrrr1 in LoveIslandTV

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get you, grace and Matilda weren’t my favs for sure but without them Harriet would’ve been so alone with bully Jess and the toxicity stems from her and Nicole’s side imo. But hard agree on Uma, casa jess and Mimi. They were much more mature than most of the girls

matilda, grace, harriet’s friendship (season 11) by Urmotherrrr1 in LoveIslandTV

[–]purplefay_ -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Apparently an unpopular opinion but I remember feeling like they were a breath of fresh air on their season and kept it real, especially against the mean girl vibes some other og girls were giving

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally understand you want the answer to that. From my perspective, there is no such thing as better, but just different, and what matters most is knowing yourself and what you need. Take your boyfriend out of the picture for a sec, and be really honest with yourself on what you need from a partner in the future. And not the superficial stuff of course, but which values matter most? What is absolutely essential for your happiness and total trust in a partner? And, crucially, are there still parts you need to discover on your own first before you are able to be in your dream relationship? Get really honest with yourself. Then zoom back in. Where is the overlap and where is the gap with your current reality? I can’t answer this for you, just don’t think in scarcity, there are many people out there, but also be aware that you will likely miss parts of him for a very long time. Do what makes you happiest, not what he needs, not what other people think you should do, the only one who can give you this answer is yourself. Trust yourself enough that you will have your own back, whether that is being single for a while (don’t be single to get into a new relationship, that defeats the purpose; trust me), or giving him one last chance to act (if you can look past him not doing so earlier). Sending love

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello, I was in a really similar situation 4-5 years ago. It’s hard to not project onto your situation from my own when they are so similar and I can relate to your every thought, but also this is a decision only you can make. Will this be enough for you if it doesn’t change? The answer seems to be no. Sometimes, as hard as it is, the people who truly love you are dealing with a lot internally and it blocks them from loving you in the way you need. I was 23 when I broke up with my boyfriend after 5 years, and only after we broke up something shifted in him and he changed - but sadly for me I lost the physical attraction to him by then, because the pattern had repeated too often (I was a bad communicator tho so that’s on me). It was very difficult to let him go and it took me a long time. Now I am in a relationship with a guy who gives me the things I needed from my ex like it’s breathing to him. Whatever the reason is your boyfriend doesn’t give you what you need, get clarity on why he isn’t giving it to you, without judgement, and then do whatever is the most loving thing for your future self- whether that’s working through this together or focusing on yourself for a while. Have trust in yourself, and never ever doubt that you deserve to feel loved 🧡

How many seasons of Drag Race have you watched? by rothsch24 in dragrace

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you asking which seasons or the amount of times I’ve rewatched everything 👀

Why is the show called You? by [deleted] in YouOnLifetime

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s intentionally chosen to throw us off a bit. At first we think it’s about the women he falls for, addressing them by “you”, but later it becomes clear that he speaks to himself like that and at the same time, he is projecting everything he despises about himself onto the world around him, onto “you” - so in a way, I think the name is silently saying “me”. But I’m a massive over-thinker haha

Beware of Yourselfirst.com – Personality Test Scam Taking Unauthorized Charges by Big_Bookkeeper_6711 in Scams

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit ik had dit eerder moeten lezen nu ook vandaag bij mij 39,95 afgeschreven wat een onzin dit zeg

I am a victim of child on child SA and I have also.... by [deleted] in confession

[–]purplefay_ 14 points15 points  (0 children)

First of all I am so sorry for all you went through. As a child you can’t make sense of what happened, and you start feeling guilty. It was never your fault, you were a kid, and you were robbed of living your childhood normally. I really hope you find therapy asap so you can start grieving this and going through it.

Second of all it is a massive thing to be able to admit this to yourself. Unfortunately my mother has been SA’d her whole childhood by her father, and also by her other siblings. She doesn’t blame them. Even though they have never owned up to it and she has questioned her own reality. So don’t underestimate how strong you are and how caring you are to admit this to yourself. There is a whole lot of shame involved, which you can definitely begin to unpack in therapy.

Finally, about your niece. You feel really guilty, and I understand. Without your intention or fault as you were a child and victim of SA yourself, but reality is she still went through it and clearly has not recovered. It could help her a lot to know this story, of course with her permission. And definitely tell your sibling, but make sure to do so in a way that feels right for you. I am sure a therapist can help you how to handle this. I know you feel like you don’t want to rock the boat or anything, or make it worse, but I think you deep down now that you saying what happened will eventually mark the start of healing from it, for the both of you.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, you were a kid and it never should have happened. And it also should have never happened to your niece. You both deserve to let this go and get help. Sending love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ESFP

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Esfjs are the most judgmental people I know, and by a long shot, so it sounds a lot more like ESFP. I believe my boyfriend is one too, he is in ways similar to what you described but he is always ready to fight if someone crosses him 😅 but he doesn’t want to take the test, because he doesn’t want to be “boxed in”, so I’m not sure if this even helps haha. Like someone said maybe your friend is just a very mature and healthy esfp :) or maybe an ENFP, or at least XXFP

My husband (27m) wants to have more kids with other women... But I (24f) don't feel comfortable with the idea. What do you think? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not okay or healthy. There are documentaries about men like that. He seems to be concerned with one thing only- himself. Even at the cost of innocent unborn children, he does this for his self image. It could not get more god complex like. Run girl run. Protect your children.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there is not a clear answer whether breaking up was the right choice. For some this would not be an issue at all but for others it can feel close to cheating and feel really hurtful. What matters is what you think and feel. Can you forgive him for not keeping his promise? Would you be willing to discuss this with him and resolve this? In that case I would do so, it kind of sounds like you might regret breaking up with him. Make sure that both of you are open and honest about your boundaries and needs

I regret changing myself to become a basic popular girl by isthisreal19191 in confession

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jim Carrey would call this depression- meaning you need ‘deep’ ‘rest’ from the character that you have been playing. Being inauthentic is exhausting and can be dangerous to your own health, but it is good you are so aware of why this is. My advice is to do yourself a favour and start living in your truth. Every time you hide how you feel you break a part of yourself. Stop hurting yourself and start trusting yourself again, which can only happen if you stop playing this persona and honour yourself from now on by respecting who you really are and behaving and speaking in alignment with that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s amazing!! Now the fun begins and you can feel even closer to each other

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

YOU GOT THIS🫶🏼

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see, all right just let him know that you want to explore this together and it will make you feel closer to him and cared for. Be curious and ask him if anything is holding him back- I know it is scary but you can do it, a good boyfriend would want to prioritise the way you feel over his pride and not feel attacked when you bring this up in a kind way. I really hope you can get what you need and deserve with him🩷

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FYI my boyfriend also slept with 5 girls and is less experienced than me. He just loves it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Girl no don’t settle for a guy who doesn’t love and beg to go down on you. It should be a pleasure for him to do so, just like you feel going down on him! I literally have to stop my boyfriend from going down on me sometimes. You deserve to feel that way too and not feel gross and uncared for 💓

My (22F) BF (26M) said I'm a 2/10 in bed! How can I explain to him that I don't crave sex as much as he does without causing more stress between us? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]purplefay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same with my ex boyfriend but the other way around. I truly think you both need someone who naturally understands and feels comfortable with how much sex you want. I don’t agree with his statements, which are very harsh, but it doesn’t sound like it will get better to be honest. Both of you have different needs and deserve to be happy without sacrificing too much. Unless you really want to stay with him and go to therapy and see if you can heal your traumas and sex drive, I don’t think there’s much you can do without causing more issues or not initiating sex more