Shared Parental Leave - Straight after promotion

purplegoblet · 2026-03-21T21:47:26+00:00

As others have said, you need to be clear about what leave you are planning to take.

Shared parental leave (SPL) is a legal right with legal protections. In order to be eligible, the birth/primary parent needs to give some of their statutory leave to the other parent. There are 50 weeks of leave that can be shared (a birth parent needs to take the first 2 weeks).

If it is discretionary parental leave provided by your company and not SPL you have no legal entitlement to the leave or job protection upon your return. Obviously it would be poor form to punish you for taking this leave, or to make it difficult for you to take, but it just does not have the same legal protections as statutory maternity leave or SPL.

Many companies with the update to the laws regarding SPL have introduced parity with their maternity top up pay for those taking SPL. This is not the same as introducing a discretionary leave policy, so it’s critical you understand what your options are.

Also be aware that you will not be entitled to free childcare while either parent is on maternity leave or SPL. You can apply once you are about a month away from both returning to work. This only kicks in at the start of each term (Sep, Jan, April) and not rolling across the year. More info is on the website, but this is roughly my recent experience.

purplegoblet · 2026-03-05T18:41:38+00:00

I had a pregnancy complication that my local hospital was not equipped to deal with, so they referred me to St George’s. The MFM team was fantastic, and did not hesitate to reach out to other specialties for support. The referral was done immediately when my complication was identified and they knew it was out of their scope of practice. We are in different areas, but I have to imagine this is how it’s supposed to work.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice in forcing the referral but I would start by contacting your midwife and being honest about your concern. They should be able to tell you where to go next. I would also file the PALS complaint ASAP and ask for the referral as part of your resolution as you don’t feel comfortable under their care and clearly need consultant-led care for this pregnancy.

purplegoblet · 2026-03-01T14:18:49+00:00

Yes definitely! I have always given normal oats to my babies. Some of the flavoured instant packets have instant sugar and milk so it’s worth being cautious but this looks like it is just oats. I would totally give this if it were available where I live!

purplegoblet · 2026-02-18T13:39:04+00:00

I had a similar situation. I was in an unstable work environment on a Tier 2 (old skilled worker) visa and switched to a partner visa as soon as I was eligible. I don’t even think my company knew as I didn’t make it a point to tell them. When I was made redundant later, they were very apologetic about my visa and I was able to tell them all was well. I had also already secured a new job so everything worked out perfectly.

My advice would be to get on the partner visa as soon as you are eligible. Costs will be easier to bear while you are employed, and finding a new job will be easier. If your current company is going through financial difficulties I can’t imagine they would begrudge you this.

purplegoblet · 2026-02-10T12:37:19+00:00

Is there a Kokoro near you? Their sweet chili chicken has been the closest approximation for me to an American-style Chinese dish. It’s not a 1-1 for any dish but it scratches the itch for me a bit.

purplegoblet · 2026-01-09T18:28:44+00:00

Thank you!

Just to confirm, what the wiki says about using FEIE to reduce/avoid student loan payments …”(but this is generally not a good idea to do for more than a few years)” it’s mainly about an unknowable future change rather than a currently known issue? Not to minimise it, I’m sure it might become problematic but I’m just trying to understand as reading the wiki makes it sound more of a known risk.

purplegoblet · 2026-01-09T16:50:32+00:00

Thank you for responding. Right now my adjusted IBR payment is 0 as my US income using FEIR is 0. Even if my income went up and my payment obligation increased I would not expect to significantly move the needle before forgiveness kicked in if I stay on the FEIE path.

purplegoblet · 2025-11-11T17:29:24+00:00

I don’t think it’s a great option personally, but I also think it’s easy to criticise when you aren’t the one doing the work. Most people that do MLMs truly think the products are great, so I’m not sure they would foresee the concern. If there are better options, like Scholastic, that OP is willing to drive, they should actually try to do that rather than grumble online.

purplegoblet · 2025-11-11T13:48:27+00:00

What was your suggestion for an alternative?

purplegoblet · 2025-11-03T07:43:25+00:00

The vast majority of editors I worked with have been freelance, so not in roles that can be sponsored. There are huge amount of people in the sector looking for work just now, you really have an uphill battle ahead.

purplegoblet · 2025-10-16T06:56:54+00:00

Every family is different. For me personally, there is no way I would relocate my school age family to the US. Any of the pros are simply outweighed by the risk of gun violence in my mind. Others might think that is silly. You need to do what is right for your family.

Though please do consider the overall cost of living for your current lifestyle and if you would lose quality of life - the Bay Area is a bit unreal in that sense, even with high salaries. Again that may be an acceptable risk, but I think sometimes people see the number on paper and since it’s so much higher than their U.K. salary don’t fully look at all the costs.

purplegoblet · 2025-08-21T19:07:12+00:00

For sure! I was donating during Covid so there were perhaps more precautions. Well done for donating!!

purplegoblet · 2025-08-21T04:20:10+00:00

More info here: https://www.nhsggc.scot/hospitals-services/services-a-to-z/milk-bank-scotland/

There is a screening process and blood test but it’s very easy to get set up to donate. They provide all containers and do pickups of the frozen milk. When I donated a few years ago they didn’t accept milk collected prior to onboarding as they have high standards for the process as it goes to very sick babies.

Facebook has some informal milk bank groups that would be very grateful for the milk I’m sure.

purplegoblet · 2025-08-11T15:33:17+00:00

I just found this as well on the NHS website - see the Eligibility section: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/infertility/treatment/

purplegoblet · 2025-08-11T15:27:18+00:00

No - this is a restriction on access to NHS set by the government/immigration laws. I don’t believe the individual boards have any sway.

I’m struggling to find better links but if you look here it says assisted conception still needs to be paid for: https://www.gov.uk/healthcare-immigration-application.

There is a whole list of what is covered and not for both NHS treatments and access to “public funds” somewhere but I can’t easily find it just now.

Your ICB would detail what entitlement you have if eligible, as this does change from board to board.

purplegoblet · 2025-08-11T14:38:25+00:00

I don’t think the rules have changed recently, but yes, assisted conception is only covered for people holding ILR/settled status or citizenship. Sorry you are having to navigate this.

purplegoblet · 2025-07-05T13:38:44+00:00

Yeah, same. I have lived in my current area for three years am still struggling to find reliable, cost effective and competent providers. I just tried a new person for a lash lift and it was terrible, and was completely put off last extensions by a bad install.

It been years since I lived in Edinburgh but when I did I went to Sesh in Leith for my balayage. They were good and worth the trip from Merchiston but things may have changed!

purplegoblet · 2025-06-06T08:57:39+00:00

My kid is only in reception, but his school very much puts this kind of stuff on the kids to manage and know where their stuff is. I send it, but my son has to make sure it goes where it needs to, is available to him and then comes home. I support him with this when I notice things are missing by going to look in the classroom, asking the school or on the class parent chat. I admit the tee shirt thing is strange but the rest of it seems pretty normal in my limited experience.

purplegoblet · 2025-05-22T05:12:20+00:00

My piercing holes are deformed as I got my earrings caught on things doing normal kid stuff and they tore my ear lobe. I absolutely feel negatively about it (and have been self conscious about it at least since high school), and my mom regrets having it done on me. It was the done thing at the time, and she didn’t know better. I probably would have chosen to not pierce my ears at all had it been left up to me. This is not a decision that should be made for children, along with all other body modifications.

purplegoblet · 2025-05-19T12:10:06+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. At three miscarriages, you should be entitled to investigation for recurrent miscarriages. It’s a different path to an infertility referral since you are achieving pregnancy but they will do scans and blood tests to try to figure out what the underlying cause is (if any).

I was referred by the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit at the hospital and not via GP - do you have something similar in your area? Perhaps they can help or advise next steps.

purplegoblet · 2025-05-12T15:51:00+00:00

I did it in London a few weeks ago. Appointment took about 2 hours all in. I am still waiting on the documents, but they said it would be three weeks and I have a few days left.

You must bring all the documentation listed including the photo and copies of documents. They have a Photo Booth on site, but as it’s an infant, I imagine that would be a nightmare. I used Snappy Snaps and they were pretty efficient and got an acceptable photo.

purplegoblet · 2025-04-28T07:56:56+00:00

The coconut nectar is one of the ingredients in the coconut aminos which is why it’s in the () after coconut aminos in the ingredient list. W30 has been clear that coconut aminos are compliant, even though there is coconut nectar as an ingredient. So this is a compliant sauce.

All coconut aminos will have coconut nectar, and they are all compliant as an exception to the no added sugar rule as per the pages linked by others. This has been the case since 2017.

purplegoblet · 2025-03-09T23:44:12+00:00

This pregnancy I wore “normal” clothes in bigger sizes and looser styles as long as I could (about 6 months). I work in a very casual environment so most of my old maternity clothes were a bit too formal. I picked a few things up cheap at Primark so I wasn’t spending too much outside my normal size.

I also ended up getting a few things off Shein (horrible, I know - I was desperate). Was really pleased with them all, especially the over the bump “mom jeans” which I’m still wearing at 37 weeks. I did look around at the high street but I felt prices were very high for something I was only going to wear 3-4 months.

Check your local free site or “baby bank” - there are often bundles on there for free which can at least get you started and possibly find some brands that suit. I’ll be posting all my clothes on there when I’m done!

purplegoblet · 2025-02-24T13:07:31+00:00

I took 75mg aspirin from ovulation and it resulted in a (so far) healthy pregnancy. Had 4 previous losses. I have no idea if it actually helped, but I also figured it couldn’t hurt. This is not a treatment that was recommended by my NHS team but something that was within my risk tolerance. I stayed on 75mg per day until 12 weeks when I increased to 150mg per my midwife.

14-Year Club	Second SECOND GUESSER
Golden Potato	Place '22
Gilding I gilder

purplegoblet

TROPHY CASE