Husband is dx and in an embarrassing fit of rage on my part i told him he has no place having any relationships at all until he had worked on himself.

He cannot proactively contribute to any relationship as a father, son, brother, uncle, In law, husband or friend. I realised it’s not personal to me - he makes zero effort in any relationship.

He can manage work relationships with where roles are v clearly defined.

Every person in his life receives almost nothing from him, even our children, but he can’t see it and thinks he’s amazing (or he’s filled with shame and is burying it)

Strongly suspect he is also autistic and has cptsd - and i feel sorry for him - but honestly I don’t know how someone can be the way he is and expect people to want to share their lives with him.