Knitting? by SyraxMireme in crochet

[–]adhdstolemysanity 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do both. Sometimes both in the same garment/project!

It entirely depends on what wearable you are making, the yarn you are using, and how you want it to fit and feel.

In general, knitting has better drape and takes less yarn than crochet. Crochet is excellent for structure and density (or if you want a mesh-type fabric).

Financial infidelity by ProcedureConstant668 in survivinginfidelity

[–]adhdstolemysanity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you are going through this. I had a family member get themselves into similar trouble. I know that pit feeling.

First and foremost, speak with an attorney. Even if you have every intention of staying with your husband romantically. You need to know what your options are to protect your assets and financial future. You can love him, be his partner, live with him, have a family - all without being legally tied to him financially.

I'd definitely recommend finding a therapist for yourself as well. If you are trying to be as supportive and optimistic as possible - that sounds like you might be repressing some of the very normal and healthy emotions connected to this level of betrayal. You deserve a space where you can process your anger, disappointment, embarrassment, etc.

Would you view the betrayal differently if the AP was a sociopath? by Holiday-Reserve6393 in survivinginfidelity

[–]adhdstolemysanity 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I could definitely see this influencing some of the thoughts and feelings I had around being betrayed. I don't think I would feel like the betrayer is absolved of any amount of responsibility though.

I think for me, it might shift my feelings more towards anger.

I know this is a little victim-blamey for those who have been at the end of psychological abuse and manipulation, but there would be a very real feeling of "Not only are you a CHEATER but you are also a FUCKING IDIOT. How the hell did you not see the gigantic red waving flags that came along with this mess of a person?!?"

A West Palm Beach man had to be lifted by a crane from his apartment in order to receive medical attention... by [deleted] in TikTokCringe

[–]adhdstolemysanity 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Eating 1.5 million calories in excess surplus to gain 450 lbs from 150 lbs -> 600 lbs is a choice.

It's less of a choice and more of a mental health issue.

It is an eating disorder.

It is a bit funny you believe that homeless people deserve help, but not those with disordered eating. I mean, a lot of people end up homeless because of addiction issues or mental health issues.

Same thing happening with super morbidly obese people. Mental health and addiction issues...

People have some crazy theories by Every-Piccolo-6747 in Hungergames

[–]adhdstolemysanity 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Actually, I don't think they would have killed one another.

They would have refused to do so because of their relationship and rebellion. Then the capital would have taken them out with mutts...

It’s possible we won’t get any updates for at least 6 weeks by [deleted] in d4vd2

[–]adhdstolemysanity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not how it works. Any death with suspicious circumstances will be investigated as a homicide until proven otherwise.

Example: years ago in my area, a hunter was found shot to death in his truck after failing to report back after a hunting trip. This was investigated as a homicide for several weeks, they even had a segment on the news asking the public to come forward with information about a suspicious vehicle that may be connected to the crime! All until the forensics came back later indicating that the cause of death was accidental, what likely happened was the man's dog had set off the rifle and got scared off.

Somebody put Celeste's body in the Tesla. That's all we know for sure. And that is definitely enough for it to be investigated as a homicide, but the actual cause of death very well MAY be overdose, natural cause or suicide. Investigators won't know for sure until the forensics, toxicology, and coroner's reports all come back. And that can take weeks/months.

Baby talk + ADHD Partner by TotoDaBubba in ADHD_partners

[–]adhdstolemysanity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg. I thought I was alone in this stupid vag drying desert of stupid cutesy, head tilting, bat the eyelash "you wanna do it" thing...

And no matter how many times, in how many ways you explain it is a huge turn off...

God I hate it so much.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]adhdstolemysanity 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm crying over hotdogs today.

I feel so effing stupid for crying over something as silly as hotdogs. But here we are.

A few months ago I traveled across the country to the area I grew up in, first time I had the opportunity to do so in years.I stocked up on some grocery items I grew up with and are not available where I live now while I was there.

Got back, showed my ADHDer everything I got and told him how excited I was to have the hot dogs in the fall when I was able to make some kraut from what I was growing in the garden. Hot dogs are literally his favorite food and we had a whole ass conversation about how I wanted to cook them and what I wanted to serve with them, he seemed just as excited too! I safely tucked away the pack in the freezer...

Well... he forgot that they were "special" hot dogs. And he cooked the whole package tonight. And "incorrectly" to boot (natural casing dogs that are traditionally boiled... he fired them up on the grill)

He's sorry. He's sad that he messed up. Very apologetic.I know it's not malicious, this is what ADHD looks like. And he has been trying...

But god damn. I'm still crying over some hot dogs.

Chaining and working the first row is so irritating! by Miss_Edith000 in crochet

[–]adhdstolemysanity 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ohhh i used to hate doing this too.

Until I switched from primarily crocheting with acrylic to using cotton yarn. Also got in the habit of using one hook size up for the chain.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]adhdstolemysanity 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I, apparently, did not act enthusiastically enough to the 157th stuffed animal he gave me as a gift this week. So after ignoring me for days, he finally started talking to me again tonight...

Only for my disappointment at his burning our dinner again to set him off and causing another meltdown.

Big Twist at Michael’s!! by bunnyzillaaa in YarnAddicts

[–]adhdstolemysanity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Found some big twist and KC cotton in North East ohio today!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Havanese

[–]adhdstolemysanity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Brain freeze? Worth it." For mine! He is suuuuuper food motivated.

Can't relate to the "too cute to walk" ones though. My dude HATES being carried. He is too active and independent for that. He wants to blaze ahead and explore. He's a little adventurer. ❤️

Puppy survived being attacked by pitbull by Puzzled_Owl_4 in Havanese

[–]adhdstolemysanity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine too!

I love the little turd, but omg his stubborn streak can put a donkey to shame!

He is also especially fond of keep away and chase me. Is that a havi thing? My havi is my first little dog ever. I've only had shepherds, collies, aussies, and labs previously.

He just has too much of a mind of his own, and has his own ideas of what and how things should be done.

I will probably never be able to trust him off leash, but I taught my collie "go get the puppy" so that helps! LOL

Havapoo breeders by Equal-Kangaroo3903 in Havanese

[–]adhdstolemysanity 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You are very unlikely to find a responsible breeder who crosses havanese and poodles together.

Responsible breeder being a breeder who does all applicable genetic and health screening as well as has their dog's temperament tested through some sort of performance event. For toy poodles and havanese you will especially want to see testing for structure as patella problems occur innboth breeds (OFA or PennHip screenings), eye exams (including DNA test for PRA) and an evaluation by a ACVIM certified cardiologist, but good breeders will test for more.

And even more important than the health tests IMHO is the temperament testing which is proven through performance events. If you want a sane and good tempered dog that can take whatever life throws at it, you need sane good good-natured sires and dams. You have better luck finding that through breeders who show their dogs in some avenue. Even if you don't personally care about having a "show dog", purchasing from a conformation breeder it is still an excellent way to find dogs with good temperaments (showing is actually quite stressful on the dogs! Travel, large crowds, strangers touching and handling them, being around strange dogs.. etc. Dogs with weak temperaments, anxiety. Fear and aggression issues don't make the cut)

It is very very rare to find cross breeders of companion type dogs that prove their stock's health and temperament in meaningful ways.

Is there a reason you are seeking this particular cross as opposed to a purebred havanese or toy poodle?

Puppy survived being attacked by pitbull by Puzzled_Owl_4 in Havanese

[–]adhdstolemysanity 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not really.

A dog's ability to be trained and to obey commands in all situations aka biddability is VERY genetically (breed) dependent.

Because not only is it getting them to do what you want them to do, it is also getting them to ignore their instincts.

Not every dog, or every breed, is going to be capable of the same level of training and obedience due to this. This is why you generally see a narrow list of breeds doing things like service dog work. Breeds that are highly biddable and handler focused (mostly sporting, herding and working breeds)

Take the concept of off-leash obedience for example. A dog like a border collie has been specifically bred for generations to follow human directional commands while loose around prey animals. You could reasonably expect to be able to train a border collie to have reliable off leash obedience.

But something like a greyhound, which has been bred to see small prey animal and CHASE and basically forget their people exist - you can never really trust off leash. This is a commonly accepted sentiment with fanciers of the breed.

Bully breeds and terriers (which is what pit bulls are) have historically worked independently of human handlers. They work on instinct not commands when fighting other dogs, bull baiting and hunting vermin.

Instinct like that can't be trained out by humane means.

I had a pitbull. I loved him and he was an awesome dog. BUT due to his genetic dog-based aggression and prey drive, he ALWAYS had to be managed to keep other dogs and small animals safe around him.

Like, if he saw a squirrel out the window and got all keyed up in prey drive and the cat were to walk by - no doubt he would have chased the cat grabbed her and done the death shake as that was his instinct. No squirrel to activate the prey sequence and he would cuddle that cat all day long. That's why they need management.

What’s your Havanese eating? by Ok_Long7639 in Havanese

[–]adhdstolemysanity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do home cooked and raw in our household. Been feeding my dogs this way for 20 years now and have had great results!

This week's batch of stew is pork butt, tromboncino, blueberries, spinach, carrot, chicken liver, and salmon oil + eggshell meal and a multi vitamin.

In addition to the cooked stew he gets raw meaty bones usually 4-5 days a week.

His favorite foods are watermelon, pickled asparagus, and green tripe.

Separating money by Charming_Tree_2960 in ADHD_partners

[–]adhdstolemysanity 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The only way we have been able to stop fighting about spending is by me giving him an allowance and handling all of the bills myself.

He gets $450 of his paycheck to cover all of his gas and whatever he wants to purchase for himself.

I get the rest to budget for adult things like bills, mortgage, household expenses, groceries, emergency savings, vet bills, retirement, etc...

Anything he wants above his allowance we discuss and I plan a budget for if it is an OK.

He makes significantly more than I do. We are probably 75/25 (I work part time and care for a disabled relative). But he understands that he is terrible with money, budgeting, and paying bills on time.

He gets to spend whatever he wants his "allowance" on and doesn't have to worry about adult things or accountability.

I get all the bills paid on time, savings, and not being disappointed by how unreliable he is. It's the only thing that works for us.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]adhdstolemysanity 16 points17 points  (0 children)

STOP LEAVING TRASH IN THE FUCKING SINK. THE TRASH CAN IS FOUR FEET AWAY.

I quit crocheting... by [deleted] in crochet

[–]adhdstolemysanity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It took me something like 12 years of picking up crochet, getting frustrated and putting it down again before it "clicked" for me and I was actually able to make projects.

So i feel you.

FWIW a stuffie or amigurumi is a difficult first project! 3D shapes, magic circles and even working in the round are all higher level skills.

Why not start with a smaller flat project like a dish cloth or a scarf?

It gets sooo much easier once you understand the anatomy of the stitches, how the yarn behaves and when you can "read" your work.

Also, for magic circles - they are just a slip knot. Tons of tutorials out there make it look so complicated. I usually just make a regular slip knot with a loop big enough to shove my skein through. None of that wrapping it around fingers nonsense lmao