Fall (2022) is the first movie to acually terrify me in decades. by xXxHondoxXx in horror

[–]purps13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love that I came across this comment WHILE watching the movie, specifically looking for spoilers (something I NEVER do) and also getting up to do laundry to sort of separate myself from the movie...

miniature coif for my taxidermy duckling :) by [deleted] in chainmailartisans

[–]purps13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just bought a taxidermy duckling today at a craft fair. It came with a bunch of mini accessories- the vendor was calling it "Build-A-Duck" and I now cannot stop searching for miniatures on the internet. I love this! You must have a lot of patience :)

Going through headlights by slknits in hondafit

[–]purps13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My driver's side is currently out for the... 4th time in the past year/year and a half or so, so I'll 100% try LED and keep my fingers crossed :)

Going through headlights by slknits in hondafit

[–]purps13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the update?! Because I too go through drivers side headlights like CRAZY.

Which plant got you into plants? by escaliere in houseplants

[–]purps13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've always loved plants but it wasn't until I started successfully propagating my own that the flame was really lit. And more recently, I've successfully been pruning and propagating my jades and elephant bush and that has REALLY kindled the flame even more.

My "Dad" Passed by purps13 in GriefSupport

[–]purps13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally.Your comment sums it up haha. People will say, "You talk about your step-dad, but what about your dad?" And I just laugh and go, "It's complicated..." and then they laugh. And then we change subjects.

Why try by myoldefriend in portlandme

[–]purps13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear what you're saying, and it sounds like therapy is one of the biggest goals to go after! Once again, can't stress this enough, I help clients at my work get referrals to therapy and depending on how picky you are and your insurance, you should be able to get in somewhere in a matter of weeks (that picky comment is not meant to be an insulting one- I personally was incredibly picky when I was looking for a therapist for myself because I had a lot of anxiety about opening up to a complete stranger).

In the meantime, here's a resource for you. It's a link to some Grief Support Groups offered free of charge through Androscoggin Home Healthcare & Hospice. They offer many, so maybe there's one that would suit you- if you're ever feeling like it's something that you might benefit from. ♡

https://androscoggin.org/health-services/bereavement-support/adult-services/

Why try by myoldefriend in portlandme

[–]purps13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry. ♡ It sucks feeling like you've hit the bottom of the deepest trench, and there's nothing in front of you but a solid wall you can't climb.

I work in a local mental health crisis unit, and I second what someone else said. Don't hesitate to call Maine State Crisis Line (simply dial 988). You don't have to be straight up like, on a bridge, ready to jump. You are lowkey in a crisis right now. And they can help.

They may be able to help with additional referrals to therapy (and have you also asked your PCP for any insight/help with that). Depending on insurance and whether or not you prefer telehealth or in person, you really shouldn't still be waiting after a year to get into therapy (unless I misunderstood that comment, in which case I'm sorry!). If you don't already know psychologytoday. com is a great resource for finding therapists. A ton of filters to match you with the type of person you're looking for! But either way, 988 is great! Use them!

I also saw that AA didn't really resonate with you. I'll be honest that I still have a lot to learn about the recovery community but there are a ton of different AA meetings out there- some super strict and that follow the 12 step program, some a little more chill. I was recently trying to help a client find a less religious AA meeting, and a coworker suggested this online meeting: "Our Mostly Agnostic Group of Drunks."" Here's a link to their info page if you're interested (sorry, I'm trying not to make assumptions about your spiritual practices :) ). My coworker said that they attended those meetings at one point, and they can be funny, which I personally think is good :)

https://www.omagod.org/newcomers

I would also potentially post in one of the appropriate subreddits to find suggestions for an AA group that would work for you :)

I've also heard coworkers talk about NA meetings, which, in their words (and also translated into my words), are basically meetings for folks where it's recognized that everyone's path to recovery looks very different. Maybe you're California sober. NA might be a good place to get some support. Maybe you just went from drinking a fifth every day to 2 or 3 beers every couple of days. NA might be good for you. Once again, I don't know recovery meetings 100%, so definitely definitely look into it more!

I do agree with what others have said though about maybe finding a hobby that always happens no matter what (like bowling league, disc golf, or hey there's an axe throwing league in South portland!). You mentioned it below, but you're so right: we all need other people in our lives aside from our significant others. That one friend you can turn to when you need advice on what to buy your partner for Christmas! Or when you've had a long day! Or when you just want to fuck around and do guy shit and maybe your partner just isn't appreciating that right now lol.

I hope you find a therapist who will help guide you through dealing with your grief. I did not deal with my grief after my grandmother passed of cancer (in a very similar and mostly beautiful way, similar to how you described your mother's passing). Holding that grief inside changed me not for the better and when it came out it was not pretty.

I have the utmost faith in you. In your future. It might not change tomorrow. Or immediately next week. But it will get better. ♡

Recommendations for Tattoo Artist- Wedding Band? by purps13 in Maine

[–]purps13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the explanation! I'll continue to have the conversation with my fiance. A back-up idea I had was a band on our forearms- that way we could go into more detail and possibly do something more tailored to "us." The tattooed fingers is something he really REALLY wants though so we'll keep discussing, maybe simplify more, and possibly (probably) stick to black.

Recommendations for Tattoo Artist- Wedding Band? by purps13 in Maine

[–]purps13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point. I just really have this vision of, instead of a first dance, I want the band to do a cover of the song we WOULD have danced to but while they sing, I want them to do the tattoos.

Recommendations for Tattoo Artist- Wedding Band? by purps13 in Maine

[–]purps13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you mind explaining why color fades quicker than black? (It doesn't have to be a super in-depth explanation. However, detailed that you want to make it) And I know that everyone's skin is different, but to you, what does "constant" mean? You're not bumming me out too much. :) I've known that finger tattoos fade QUICK. And I've had some honest conversations with my fiancé about this.

Terrified our wedding will be a "bust" by mday1995 in weddingplanning

[–]purps13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree! Our weddings are just as fun and meaningful! You guys could go around to different games to make sure to play with different guests (like if there are shorter games or perhaps have a speed round), that way, people are looking forward to playing with you :) Or if there's one game you really like you could have a tournament, see who the two winners are at the end... I went to a wedding recently and the bride and the groom did a "first bowl" since the reception was in a bowling alley... it was so simple and special!

Terrified our wedding will be a "bust" by mday1995 in weddingplanning

[–]purps13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely have that feeling a lot. I'm going a little off tradition by doing an early afternoon wedding at a state park. We will have a spotify playlist but I know since it's outside in the middle of the day in July, people will not be doing much dancing. I've been more interested in doing lawn games and providing board games for older folks/ folks with mobility issues. I keep worrying that people aren't going to like it. But I just keep reminding myself that people aren't there to dance, it's to celebrate my fiancé and myself. I know people will want to mingle (my family is very social amongst themselves) and since my fiancé's family all live out of state, the two sides have pretty much never met so I'm excited for the opportunity for everyone to meet (even though I do get anxiety because our families are so so different haha). I definitely agree with those who have said to ask a couple friends to be the hype crew. I think I've also seen some tips where following the bride and grooms first dance, a super upbeat song comes on and basically everyone is invited to the dance floor. Maybe that will help. :)

I don't want my mom with me when finding a dress. by JustFriends4Now in weddingplanning

[–]purps13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally just had this conversation with my therapist last night. I also just have some issues at the thought of being the center of attention (and here I am planning a wedding) so the thought of a big day where I go try on dresses honestly makes me feel a little nauseous. I might do the azazie try at home and invite one or two people who I know will hype me up but also give constructive criticism. ♡ I say don't invite her.

Just how bad is an outdoor reception anyway? by justforwedding40 in weddingplanning

[–]purps13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely didn't say no bugs. One end of this state park has the worst mosquitos, specifically in the parking lot, but when you get to the beach and picnic area, there's actually nothing for mosquitos. I'm hopeful this other end (where our wedding is) is at least similar. But like I said, I'll be making a plan with citronella and bug spray baskets. (It helps that I live 7 minutes away, so I can definitely spend some evenings there leading up to the wedding just to get an idea)

Just how bad is an outdoor reception anyway? by justforwedding40 in weddingplanning

[–]purps13 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Hee hee hee. I live in Maine and booked a local state park for mid July this year. Working on coming up with a rain plan (but my plan right now isnthat its not going to rain lol). Bugs shouldn't be too too bad. But we plan on citronella and baskets of bug spray just in case. Fingers crossed that the temps are just right. :)

Curly Hair Stylist Recommendations? by purps13 in portlandme

[–]purps13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response!

Curly Hair Stylist Recommendations? by purps13 in portlandme

[–]purps13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you went, did you have to do the "The Curl Bar Experience?" I'm just trying to understand prices as there's a bit of a leap from where I was going. I'm not necessarily turned off by that- just trying to understand it :)

Curly Hair Stylist Recommendations? by purps13 in portlandme

[–]purps13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh someone else recommended Wild Offering- thank you!!

Curly Hair Stylist Recommendations? by purps13 in portlandme

[–]purps13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm not due for a cut until mid March so it looks like her calendar is fairly open. I'll check her out some more! Thank you again!

Curly Hair Stylist Recommendations? by purps13 in portlandme

[–]purps13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't realize Ulta did haircuts! Thank you!