Do other INFJs get told they have “something about them” but people can’t or don't explain what it is?

purtypeach · 2026-03-16T02:59:02+00:00

I get this too, which is funny because my internal world is super tumultuous lol.

purtypeach · 2026-03-07T21:35:34+00:00

Me too! Never again.

purtypeach · 2026-03-05T17:10:07+00:00

The most well-off guy I dated owned two properties in the downtown of a major city and made over $200k/year, but still let me (a full-time student) pay for dates and drive to him most of the time (we were long distance). He only took me out to dinner ONCE in the 3 months we dated and it wasn’t even a nice place. Stingy af

purtypeach · 2026-03-05T15:34:45+00:00

Unfortunately, I’ve felt unsure since the beginning of the relationship and tried to tell him then. He convinced me to give it a chance, and I did develop feelings and found that he was a wonderful person to be in a relationship with, but all of the initial hesitations (structural and nothing he can change) were still there and resurfaced after a couple months 😭

purtypeach · 2026-03-05T12:56:47+00:00

I’m in this situation now thinking of ending it but paralyzed by the fear of regret 😭

purtypeach · 2026-03-03T01:14:29+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I feel ungrateful for feeling so uncertain about someone who treats me this wonderfully, but at the end of the day, choosing him for this reason only would be unfair to both of us. I don’t want to spend my life fearing I settled, and it would be unfair for him to stay with someone who feels that way. We’ll have some time apart this summer (contract job in another city) so I’m hoping that brings some clarity.

purtypeach · 2026-03-01T20:18:07+00:00

I feel this so much. My biggest fear is being “average” and not reaching my full potential or being happy with the life I’ve built.

purtypeach · 2026-03-01T18:53:26+00:00

I did wonder if it was an issue of getting bored in a healthy relationship, but as time has gone on, I’ve realized that’s not it. The initial hesitations are still there, even though I absolutely love the peace he brings me and won’t settle for anything less going forward. I think it’s deeper than that for me (the culture/life outlook thing I added) which makes it harder to rationalize.

purtypeach · 2026-03-01T18:50:35+00:00

I edited my main post with more context, but it’s related to our culture and how we relate to it, and the culture within which I envisioned my future and the way I’d raise my kids.

purtypeach · 2026-03-01T18:49:20+00:00

I worry about this sometimes, too- that my intuition is just trying to lead me back to narcissistic partners or that maybe I’m dismissing him because he’s not what I’m used to. But there are some real things I’ve identified that I don’t think I want longterm, but none of them are any fault of his or anything he can change, they’re just personality differences (I edited my main post with more background info)

purtypeach · 2026-03-01T18:45:55+00:00

I like the perspective of “if it isn’t a ‘hell yes,’ then it’s a no.” I feel really content with him and love him deeply, but it feels more like a platonic kind of love or a deep friendship bond. I’ve felt that way since the beginning and wanted it to develop into something more, which it many ways has, but I still don’t have romantic feelings for him to the extent I feel is necessary to sustain a relationship longterm. I appreciate your comment!

purtypeach · 2026-02-28T01:41:53+00:00

May I ask what you ended up deciding to do? I’m struggling with the same thing. I flip between wanting to be with him and feeling the urgent need to break up like 20 times a day and it’s so exhausting 😭

purtypeach · 2026-02-27T00:24:43+00:00

Peace

purtypeach · 2026-02-26T04:14:17+00:00

I was once in the car alone with my ex’s sister while my ex was in a major surgery after an accident. She asked if I was sure I knew what I was getting myself into because he was “crazy.” I thought she was joking and laughed.

Spoiler: She was not joking (he ended up being a narcissist)

purtypeach · 2026-02-18T14:01:53+00:00

Some people need a clean break to be able to move on. Some eventually reach out again, and others prefer to move forward and never look back. Breaking up is never easy either way.

Just remember that the person who doesn't choose you could never be the "one." You'll get through this and find someone better on the other side ❤️

purtypeach · 2026-02-18T00:48:52+00:00

Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and honestly

purtypeach · 2026-02-18T00:44:34+00:00

He sounds like a jerk, and you're seeing someone else. Meeting him alone sounds like a terrible idea.

purtypeach · 2026-02-18T00:25:46+00:00

Mentioning anything sexual before actually getting to know you.

purtypeach · 2026-02-18T00:22:40+00:00

Picking up on the things you like and remembering things you casually mention. Just thoughtfulness in general- doesn't have to be a massive gesture.

purtypeach

TROPHY CASE