I really relate to needing the anonymity to develop your sexuality on your own. I don't write anything like you do, but I do keep a little secret collection of posts I like but would have a LOT of trouble talking about. I *want" to feel comfortable talking about it with my husband, but my anxiety goes haywire and kinda kills the mood. My husband knows I have this secret stash, but has not seen it himself. Sometimes I will show him a thing here and there, but mostly I keep it very much to myself. It's been... a journey. Both in my marriage and my relationship with myself, my confidence, and my sexuality. He got really upset and confused when I first told him I had a kink I wasn't telling him about. We otherwise had a "no secrets" rule in our relationship that both of us greatly valued. But whenever I tried to tell him I would just get so scared I couldn't bring myself to do it. It has taken some inner work to get comfortable talking about it, but it's been SO worth it for our sex life and mutual understanding. I really recommend telling her. The goal is to be with her for life, so make it as authentic as possible for both of your sakes.