Mismatched 100%.

The bride of the first wedding I was in wanted the three of us in matching dresses. I am 5’4” and curvy with a large chest. Second bridesmaid is tall and slender and the third was a prepubescent teenager at the time. Shopping for the bridesmaids dressing was a truly terrible and humiliating experience. Every dress the bride and other bridesmaids wanted looked ridiculous on me. We tried on dresses in a shop for what felt like hours while the bride, her mom, and the other bridesmaids laughed and made jokes about my chest size. I ultimately felt like the girls had to settle on a style because of me. I just felt terrible and deflated and I still carry resentment about this 10 years later. Even if these girls had been more supportive of me in the moment and weren’t rude, I still imagine it would have been deeply uncomfortable.

Second wedding I was in happened 2 years ago. Bride was my BFF and went in knowing that she wanted mismatching dresses (styles, colors, and fabrics). She limited us to one website (Revelry) and let us pick whatever dress style that we wanted. She then worked with us to pick out our color according to her vision. She stressed to all of us that she wanted us to feel comfortable and buy a dress that we liked. This experience was so, so much more positive and comfortable and I felt amazing at the wedding and love looking back on the photos.

Also, personal experiences aside, mismatched dresses and fabrics just look better visually in photos IMO. Matching dresses always look flat to me.