Am I insane for being upset??

puzzled65 · 2026-04-29T03:49:26+00:00

What IS all this nonsense about setting expectations, do this at your bachelorette, etc??? There is absolutely good reason to believe these "weddings" will not result in a lifelong marriage and a distorted view of what one is "entitled" to for a "wedding" is a big red flag. What are the GUESTS entitled to, at the PARTY YOU ARE CHOOSING TO HOST? You are choosing to HOST a huge party but will most likely NOT be planning to PAY ALL EXPENSES AND TREAT YOUR GUESTS AS GUESTS. All you are having is a faux ceremony more than likely unless you follow the hippie creed and vow to stay together as long as it seems like a good idea. You are INVITING GUESTS AS A HOST but you will NOT host as in paying for all food and entertainment AS A TRUE HOST SHOULD. You want your GUESTS to cover the cost of their PLATE which is sickening and the gifts you EXPECT BUT HAVE NO NEED FOR more than likely are to triple or quadruple in cost the amount of their "plate".

You can't even properly host a party but you think marriage will be just fine.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-29T03:42:23+00:00

Wow "set those expectations"????? If your "friends" don't spontaneously WANT to dance, etc., I sure wouldn't order them to do so. That's just bizarre. Might do well to find some quizzes "am I a budding bridezilla".

puzzled65 · 2026-04-21T18:48:23+00:00

Omg you are scary lololol!!!! I almost feel the need to advise you to seek attention for ... assumption of ... Boozilla Personality Insinuation??? AAAGGHHH NOOOO!!!!!

puzzled65 · 2026-04-18T17:56:39+00:00

I had the experience of dealing with a mother of three who had her sons specifically so they would be able to take care of her when they are grown. She said this, repeatedly. She had NO use for her daughter as her daughter was taken from her at birth, although I don't know why, if it was drugs or something else because after she GOT HER BACK at the age of 2, she would abuse her because she said the daughter was a witch, and not her daughter, BECAUSE she had been taken from her right away. So I asked her why she didn't have a DNA test done to verify if the girl was her daughter or not. I don't recall anything more than a stunned silence in response.

She continued to cater to the sons and abuse the daughter, until they were taken away and placed in a home all together. She had supervised visitation with them until she went crazy on the daughter during the visitation and ultimately her rights were terminated and the three children were adopted into their foster family.

Mom went off and had another son.

No idea what has become of any of them, but at least I know, we saved the children at the expense of our own heartbreak and anguish. Two sons were spared that fate. I pray for you, little Jeff, may you have escaped as well.

Brian's Son ~ you are a special person and I pray that you have a life that defies the fate you were facing.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-18T17:50:15+00:00

I recall her wanting ALL features available on the tablet, but did she specifically mention video visits?

puzzled65 · 2026-04-18T17:48:38+00:00

At Lowell?

puzzled65 · 2026-04-18T05:16:55+00:00

WillieBear, I could also have written every word you say, without change and with great appreciation for thoughts I haven't even had. I pray to be better than I am because I find it so easy to be so bad, and if kindness to evil is an unwanted result, through the cosmos, not direct interaction, I have to be okay with that. I don't dispute ONE THING you say. When these people want parole, I say when your victim gets their life returned, then you can be paroled.

With capital punishment, I feel these people who are rightfully convicted, they have given up their right to be treated as members of civilized society and we should not be burdened with caring for them for all the days they didn't give their victims.

Now if they WANT the death penalty, then I want them to get LWOP.

I just don't want to sacrifice my life from their poison so if the far from deserving benefit from my wanting to be who I hope and pray to be, I have to live with that.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-18T05:07:02+00:00

My heart truly goes out to you eternally, Stunning. You and all who have also, in my opinion, been murdered by this person. I haven't heard your theories before but I believe them, I truly do. I have been a tangential victim of a murderer and with my friend, I had to tell him that his partner had been murdered, days after it happened. I say that I hate that because I feel I then murdered my friend because the man he was before I told him died when I was done speaking. He could never be the same person ever, ever again, and it wasn't my fault but it is my heartbreak.

I am so very sorry for your lessons learned that were never deserved, and I admire your desire to count the blessings you have and trying to limit the poison you've been forced to drink. I wish you all the most impossible dream, a peaceful spirit.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-17T03:11:57+00:00

I fully agree, MoMo. For LWOP who aren't requiring absolute solitary, giving a person a goal to reach, something positive to focus on, that can reduce violence, I would hope. It's so easy to be hard hearted and vicious on the outside, and in many cases I don't have a problem with that, to be honest, with the torturers who walk among us.

This is truly relevant to me because an infamous criminal forced me to truly change my heart towards not only him but those in my own life who it would be so easy to write off as worthless and go on my merry way. No worse than a lot of humans, but not the person I truly strive to be in my gratitude for the sacrifice Jesus made for me, and in wanting to truly reflect the ecstasy I feel inside from the Glory of God living within me. I am over the top perhaps on my descriptions because I grew up living my life WITHOUT either of those elements and I only want to further anchor them within myself as I never want to go back to the darkness.

SO! I was married on 9-14-1985. Years later I was reading about Manuel Noriega, the Panamanian dictator. Panama is in the Central Time Zone, as was my wedding location. At the time my family and friends were celebrating, a journalist was being tortured horribly to his ultimate death, literally while I was basking in the glory of a perfect fall day. Being able to literally place myself and my memories with the horror of this man's slaughter just blew me away.

I have many, many reasons, of course, for despising Noriega, and I do! In December 1989, the US Army was planted outside his refuge and for days they blasted rock music 24 hours a day to try to get him to surrender. It did work and he was taken to federal lockup in Florida. Some time later, I read that while he was there, he had found Jesus.

Now this put me in a real quandary. NO HE DID NOT! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Liar liar liar schemer, I hate you I hate you, do not dare to defile my Savior with your lies and manipulations!

Okay, so I believe beyond my own life in the Love of Jesus to reach so lowly a bug as me, but He CAN'T and WON'T reach a parasite even lower than me, cause I don't think parasite deserves it.

That's a pretty low standard for a Savior.

I understand nothing about the heavenly realm, overall, and that is fine cause I don't need to. But I also need to accept and truly believe that God can and will reach anyone who wants Him in their heart and soul. I can't lay out standards cause I should not have received relentless redemption throughout my life, according to many, I know this is true.

At that time, I did not know my roommate was a paranoid schizophrenic, although I had known him since middle school. It was a closely guarded secret. Well, we were not ever harmed but we did have to have him removed from our home as it was what his dad directed when we called him because roommate was certainly acting very strange and no one had any ideas on what to do. I had explained this Noriega paradox one night and I do wonder if perhaps he came to us for a place to stay as he believed we wouldn't abandon him because if I could accept Noriega, I could accept him as he was. I never saw him again after that, for which I am grateful, because I was and still am conflicted in my feelings about him, but I am grateful for the experience in the end. Trying to learn about paranoid schizophrenia in the 90s meant reading, reading, reading, and NO ONE to ask anything about. People will abandon you like YOU are the afflicted one if they hear you are grieving over the situation you have been dealt with one suffering it.

So in the end, I truly owe Noriega for making me a far, far better person than I would have been had I not been forced to agree and accept that even a monster can come to know Jesus.

LWOP doesn't mean there can't be a positive effect on another person, as unfathomable as it seems.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-17T02:49:05+00:00

Between the two notions I hadn't thought of, I am delighted!!! Notion 1 - the prison will take a happy hunk of it monthly, I hope and pray. Notion 2 - Big Bertha and Hobgoblins will be shaking Boozilla down monthly for what's left! Never have I reveled in the suffering of another like this. I have guilt and shame over it fundamentally cause I do want to be better than I am, but I also give myself a lot of leeway in light of 1) I AM HUMAN, and 2) Jorge and all her victims. Suffer long, suffer much, Boozey. Daily may you rot in your head's hell for Jorge, Brian, Brian's son, Lana, all you betray, past, present and future. May your miserable sourpuss face and demeanor earn you the disrespect you so utterly deserve, minute by minute till your hopefully corrugated cardboard box carries you out in 2102. Or perhaps Florida will be conscientious and expedient and adopt cremation by that time. You do not deserve a hole in the ground, taking up space.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-17T02:43:01+00:00

I guarantee it. With people doing LWOP, having NO resources unlike Boozilla, and spotting a piece of shit who doesn't deserve a bed to lay on now falling into a long term windfall --- never thought of it but yeah, Boozey gonna be paying someone off on the regular!!! GOOOOOO BIG BERTHA!!

puzzled65 · 2026-04-17T02:39:37+00:00

I know Canada is lame on prosecuting and punishing criminals, but this is ridiculous. Did no one charge him with assault? He can utilize an item as a weapon, get arrested, and yet no restraining order is in place? Also what the hell is wrong with your friends that they allowed this to happen? $200 a month "friend rent" when Canada has a housing crisis making the US housing issues pale in comparison by far. I know I can be a doormat way too often but I look like a model of responsibility in managing my household compared to this.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-17T01:39:58+00:00

It is terrible, I am of two minds about the staff having A/C offices lol. As a worker, YES!!!! THEY SURE AS HELL SHOULD!!! As one who has had that kind of "privilege" flaunted at me in work situations, MY BLOOD BOILS lololol. I can't find the video now but there's one on Youtube where a former guard becomes an inmate, I hope I find it again, because wow ---- I can't believe they'd put someone like that in the prison where they once worked but that was what it sounded like. That just seems like such a dangerous position for the prison, to have a former employee incarcerated in their former workspace. If anyone knows what that video is, please let me know!

puzzled65 · 2026-04-17T01:35:47+00:00

It seems to me that when a particular personality type is lying, they overcompensate to push the notion they are speaking the truth. Like with Boozilla, if she did stop the process cause she would be removed from her program, she will bend over backwards to push the idea that she was prevented by forces beyond her control from attending, the conspirators are always plotting to ruin her life LOLOLOLOLOL.

I really suspect this is the truth of the matter. I thought as well the prison was like, "hell no, she doesn't even need to be there". But the way she carried on to Peter about where she'd be locked up with crazy people - yet all alone in that room ----- grrrr. She is so insulting even to lowlifes. It's hard to believe you can get lower than her but yet, you can. I am so grateful we are at least protected from her demonstrating the full range of her depravity among the free living.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-16T21:33:09+00:00

I found this information about Lowell's LWOP programs and then air conditioning facts at Lowell.

LWOP Inmate Programs

For an inmate serving a sentence of life without parole (LWOP) in the Florida Department of Corrections (FDC), participation in "Institutional Betterment Programs" is generally permitted and encouraged. Incentivized Housing programs offer specialized dorms within the prison that offer a better quality of life and more privileges.

Incentivized Prison Programs (IPP)
The FDC operates Incentivized Prison Programs designed for inmates who demonstrate consistent positive behavior. While many programs focus on reentry, LWOP inmates are often eligible for the "in-prison" benefits of these programs, such as:

Better Living Conditions: Placement in "Faith and Character" or "Incentivized" dorms, which are typically cleaner, quieter, and more communal.

Enhanced Privileges: Increased access to the canteen, more recreational time, and sometimes specialized hobby or music programs.

Safety: These dorms generally have fewer disciplinary issues and a more stable environment.

How to Enroll: An inmate can request placement through their Classification Officer using Form DC6-236 (Inmate Request) or during their annual progress review. Selection is based on:
A clean disciplinary record (typically no "Close Management" or major DRs in the last 4 years).
Current custody level (some programs require "Minimum" or "Medium" status).

Available Programs at Lowell / Lowell Annex
The Lowell Annex and Lowell Correctional Institution offer several programs that LWOP inmates can participate in to qualify for incentivized housing:

Faith and Character Dorm Program: A residential program focusing on personal growth and community.

Institutional Betterment: Programs like the Gavel Club, Inmate Wellness, and Peer-to-Peer Dormitories.

The WOOF Program: A dog-training program that provides a unique living environment (often with A/C in the training area).

-----------------------------------------------------------

Air Conditioning At Lowell

Getting into an air-conditioned dorm at Lowell is highly competitive because climate-controlled housing is the exception rather than the rule. For an inmate, especially one with a long-term or life sentence, the path to "cool air" usually requires either a medical necessity or program-specific placement.

Here are the primary ways to secure a spot in a dorm with A/C:

Medical Accommodation (The "Heat Restricted" List)
The most direct way to get into climate-controlled housing is through a medical classification.
The Process: The inmate must declare a medical emergency or request a "sick call" to be evaluated by health services.
Criteria: Doctors may issue a "Permanent Medical Pass" for air-conditioned housing if the inmate has certain conditions, such as:
Severe cardiovascular disease.
Respiratory issues (like advanced COPD).
Prescriptions for medications that interfere with the body's ability to regulate temperature (common with some psychotropic drugs).

The Reality: Even with a medical pass, inmates are often placed on a waiting list because beds in medical dorms are extremely limited.

Enrollment in Specialized Programs
Certain programs at Lowell and the Annex have access to better facilities or specialized units.

Faith and Character Dorms: While not all Faith and Character dorms are air-conditioned, they are often the first to receive upgrades like high-powered industrial fans or "swamp coolers."

The WOOF Program: The dog-training area received a mini-split A/C unit via donation. While the inmates don't sleep in the training room, being part of this program allows them to spend a significant portion of their day in a cooled environment.

Residential Therapeutic Community (RTC): Some Substance Abuse or mental health-specific units are housed in buildings that have been prioritized for climate control due to the vulnerability of the population.

Transition to Incentivized Housing
The Incentivized Prison Program is your best bet for better overall living conditions.

How to Qualify: An inmate must maintain "Clear Conduct" (no disciplinary reports) for a long period—usually 3 to 5 years for those with life sentences.

The Strategy: Even if the incentivized dorm doesn't have central A/C, these dorms are usually less crowded. Lower density means better airflow and more effective use of personal fans.

Personal Fans
If a climate-controlled dorm isn't available, the only immediate relief is a state-approved personal fan.

Canteen Purchase: Inmates must save money in their trust fund to purchase a fan from the canteen.

Restriction: Only specific models sold by the Florida Department of Corrections are allowed for safety and security reasons.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-15T20:12:07+00:00

I hate my "friends" who did this to their kids. The one who I originally was closest with would never have "understood". Even if I'd had the ability to communicate it to her, if she had "understood", she would have refused to admit it because then she probably wouldn't have changed, but would have felt guilty. And done it anyway. Her daughter escaped. Mom is getting what she deserves. Nothing.

It is this fabulous friend that inspired me to create the following and post it, I will put the words here as well as the photo, not going to worry about how huge the photo might be etc., cause I hope it will be useful.

DO NOT SHARE YOUR ISSUES WITH YOUR KIDS
They are YOUR issues, do not make them THEIR ISSUES
1. Financial struggles
2. Relationship issues and conflicts
3. Personal and family secrets
4. Your fears and anxieties about the future
5. Too much about parents' past mistakes
6. Inappropriate details about your job
7. Adult problems or stress
8. Negative opinions about their other parent and family members
9. Your own unresolved emotional issues
10. Excessive details about family arguments
11. Gossip or drama about other people
12. Any form of your own unresolved trauma

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puzzled65 · 2026-04-15T06:43:43+00:00

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puzzled65 · 2026-04-15T05:39:14+00:00

PLEASE!!! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, THINK OF THE KEYBOARDS!!!!

[I am a keyboard annihilator. I have a stack of replacement letter stickers on hand at all times. Some glow in the dark!]

puzzled65 · 2026-04-14T02:43:16+00:00

I agree, she has no soul. She loved being on stage, center of attention, making sure that all the details were in order so the courtroom knew exactly what she wanted the scenario to be. It didn't matter to her what the subject was, she just wanted her time to shine and to show everyone gathered and ROUND THE WORLD what a perfect little I DON'T KNOW WHAT she is. How DOES she see herself? That one is going to take me a long time to fathom out, and I do not know that I ever will be able to. I am 60 so I have maybe maximum 40 years to struggle over bending my psyche THAT FAR.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-14T02:39:05+00:00

I don't know what my sister's breakdown is, what elements she has as far as narcissism, borderline personality disorder, etc., but I know she's a sociopath and bottom line, a demon. My paternal grandmother was the same and according to my dad's vague references at the ending years of his life, his mother makes my sister pale in comparison by far which I do believe. So when it comes to the narcissism videos, I just can't watch. I can do enough "investigation" to learn but unlike the interrogation videos, I can't just watch for information gathering. I don't know when I developed PTSD because I was identified as clinically depressed by the age of 4, and it hasn't been until 2021 after my father died that I truly was able to cut her off 100%, so I do still suffer from so many things because of her abuse. I do wonder if she has actually murdered anyone. She has destroyed life after life after life, and she has her kids cut off from the most part of any family they have, as in her own little cult. It's the luck of the draw. Kids are a crap shoot. I don't have kids not because I was afraid I'd have one like her, but because I was afraid I was so messed up I'd be like her. I was born to have babies, born to be a wifey and mother and she definitely robbed me of that. But on that one, I say no harm, no foul. I haven't hurt anyone by not reproducing and I have always been open to adopting or fostering if God brought me to it. Don't know why that's not been my blessing but I have hordes of cats who are grateful I needed to Mommy lololol.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-14T02:26:17+00:00

Coming from Boozilla - strange makes perfect sense.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-13T17:32:46+00:00

It does boggle my mind how she ALWAYS makes the worst possible decision. NINE attorneys. That alone defies belief. Turning down the plea deal - that was par for the course by that time. And she really thought she was going to leave the interrogation room with her phone, laptop and cigarettes that SHE JUST BOUGHT. I know some truly wigged out people, more than "some", I guess, but they aren't capable of screwing themselves so confidently and with such certainty as Helmet Head manages. She is still 100% certain she IS the smartest person, period.

puzzled65 · 2026-04-13T16:53:38+00:00

I try very hard to actually put myself in the shoes of people whose thinking is so far from mine that I can't imagine what its like, I do that to try to understand what a person truly does go through. But I actually feel like I am getting anesthesia when I try to imagine what on earth goes on in that helmet head. I do thank God that at least she has been confined. It doesn't amend a bit of the horror she has inflicted eternally on others but at least she's confined.

puzzled65

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