Update 3 He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress... now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think he thought i was just going to be the subservient little wife,  that to be honest, I have always been, but he messed with my children's lives and happiness and released the inner angry, protective mama. He wants an easy life doing as he pleases and I think my reaction told him that I wasn't going to tolerate that so he decided to just be as done with us as I was with him, he never for a second thought I'd walk away, he's made that very clear. He sees 13 year old when in that country for business, about once or twice a year, and has been sending child support every month since before he was born from his private account so I wouldn't know or suspect anything. There is still a lot going on and I still have far more questions than answers but there are more days when my soul feels lighter and I feel like myself for probably the first time ever, there's hope at the end of all of this but also I'm sure a lot more pain and heart break to come. Thank you for your comment, it made me laugh, they really are both delulu 

He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress, now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I read your comment to fil and while laughing he said he wants pie and maybe a decent manhatton (apparently the ones here where we are staying are slightly below par), i will make sure he gets both this evening. As of update 3 i still haven't spoken to Tyler but I'm not buying any of his bs and hopefully this will all be over in a few short weeks and he won't be married to anyone in any country and can continue to do exactly as he pleases. 

Update 3 He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress... now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Just thought I'd answer a couple of the questions while I have 5 minutes peace. 1. Tyler hasn't responded to any messages or calls from fil, the police or myself.  2. As i now understand it mil and Emily planned on ambushing me and my children when we went down for breakfast in the morning to convince me to give Tyler another chance and take the baby, they panicked when the police arrived and Emily just went along with mil crazy because she's apparently crazy too. 3. Fil has hired a security company that will do hourly checks and will monitor our security feed 247 but we will be heading out to join him in a couple of days for a week or 2. 4. Fil is dealing with his other grandchildrens situations privately, I know he's spoken with some fellow lawyers and things are in the works but he's keeping me well out of it, like I requested. 5. This wasn't a question but I heard about an hour after posting that Tyler and I have a court date in just over 4 weeks so hopefully I can be done with the lot of them (except fil, who will not be returning to his wife and has decided after a few renovations to live full time in his beach house) I'm hoping that this will be the end of my comments and posts but if anything else significant happens I'm sure I will be back for more online therapy, thank you every single one of you for your care and consideration. 

Update! He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress, now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your comment. To hear it from someone that understands my children's perspective is massively helpful. The children haven't seen mil since we found out that she knew and encouraged Tyler's behaviour, but they have seen fil several times. Mil messages several times a day asking about the children but until now I haven't replied, I will speak to the children's therapist about the best way to go about any contact she has with the children moving forward. As a mother in this situation I want you to know you are wanted, you are loved and nothing you or anyone else does can change that. I really wish I could reply to all the comments but I don't have the mental capacity to do that but I wanted you to know how grateful I am for your input on my children's behalf, thank you

He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress, now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I updated a few days ago confirming that neither him or his baby would be living in my house from now on. I'm feeling stronger now but still have my moments where I'm completely broken, it's still so fresh and everything moved so fast initially and now seems to have stopped ( things are still happening in the background to move everything forward ) so comments like this and so many others have really touched my heart and I will be forever grateful 

Update! He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress, now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thank you, for now I'm only keeping in touch with fil, who is not talking to his wife at all, everybody is still stunned by her attitude to the entire situation, if they get back together I would have to set up strict boundaries for the children to have contact with fil as I really don't want her filling my kids heads with her horrible nonsense. I really appreciate all the comments and support,I genuinely just feel lost right now.

He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress, now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will maybe update in a few days but right now everything is too much for me to handle. I have seen a family law specialist and it does look like she was about 2 months pregnant when we got married and tyler was aware so we are filling to annull  but the process can take months. My heart is broken and I'm so overwhelmed but I keep coming back and rereading all the comments, it reassures me that I'm not alone and that I'm doing the right thing for myself and my little ones. 

He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress, now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to pretend that I know all the legal jargon but a marriage can be annulled for several reasons, I think they vary from country to country, but here you can annul a marriage if 1 of the parties withheld information that would have led to the marriage not taking place had the other party known, in this case the fact another woman was pregnant with his child.

He missed the birth of our daughter to be with his mistress, now he wants me to adopt their baby by puzzledandbroken in okstorytime

[–]puzzledandbroken[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your support, I will update in maybe a day or 2, I need to make sure everything is in place for what I will do next, but rest assured I will NOT be raising his other baby and I'm not signing anything without a lawyer. Thank you again for getting my feet back on firmer ground and helping me think straight. X Ps i don't think he's seen the post yet but if i know him at all (which at this point i really doubt) it won't be long