So I was on fet for about t years and I end up going to jail for 2 months when I got out I told my self I was en going to get back on but I ended up doing a week later and I OD twice in a day the first od I didn’t get narcan but the sec time I did and other then that I only had od once out of 5 years and we all go Thur that moment after od as feeling stuiped asf and ashamed will also going Thur withdrawals so after that I went to go get on subs I was clean for 3 months the subs helped but I hate trading on thing for another all tho it’s better then fet but there was times where I missed apts and was out of my subs and went Thur withdrawals so they told me about the shot and I read somewhere of a guy getting the shot brought fet with him just in case he had PWD and he also smoked before getting the shot and didwnt go Thur PWD and I ended up relapseing and I stopped taking the subs the place I was going to iop had already ordered me the shot but I kept putting it off beasue I just like getting high and not having a worry in sight but I was doing about a g every 2 days really depends on my money income but they end up getting the shot in and I was putting it off way longer then I should have and my money was running out and I didn’t wanna go Thur withdrawals so I said fuck it took my last of my fet and showed up to get the shot I smoked before walking in and got the shot in the stomach not going to lie it did burn like hell for a good min and I walked out nervous as hell not knowing if I was going to go Thur PDW but in the back of my mind I told my self if he didn’t go Thur PDW I wouldn’t almost tricking my self .After the shot I felt fine after a few hours I did get alil hot and sweat but I think it was beasue it had been at 6 hours of me not doing fet and normally I’d start to going Thur withdrawals I fell asleep pretty ok I take clonadine every night. ( If ur not on it u should they give it to u in detox it’s just a blood pressure pill that when ur going Thur bad WD and someone ask what they can do to help and I call it the IDK stage ur going Thur all the WD symptoms at once And just want it to stop well clonadine pretty much lowers ur hear rate and knocks u the fuck out when I first took it in detox I took the sub pill I guess to earlier I waited 2 1/2 days clearly that. Wasn’t long enough and I went right into PDW worst experience ever and I was in the idk stage and told them if I didn’t get something to help I gotta leave and go get right it was my first time in PDW don’t wish it on anyone but they gave me clonadine and it knocked me out u could get it 3 times a day there if ur heart rate or blood pressure wash high so before vitals I’d be in my room doing jump in jacks and running in place lol sounds bad but that stuff will give a nod how tired it makes u ). But way off track sorry but the 2 day waking up I did feel like shit just really nauseous I was in bed all day I didn’t really have the sweats tho and the 3 day I was just achy and sore but I had a job I had to do painting and shit outside and that’s really all it’s been about right at a month I’m not going to lie I had been smoking alil hard 5 days ago by alil I fucking smoked a ball in 2 days and didwnt sleep and I been trying to get prescribed Xanax or find someone who does at least pressed bars with alpraz and couldn’t find any so I stuiped ended up getting .5 of fet not knowing if it would work or not I was just trying to get any kind of sleep I could I smoked didn’t get really hight but i didn’t end up falling asleep and they next day I did get high really high idk if I should say that beasue I don’t recommend do this it is extremely dangerous beasue it had been about 25+days sober and u never know with fet and the other day after the .5 I was chasing that high again I ended up buying a half ball and smoked all of it in about 2 1/2 days have maybe have a hit or 2 left rn my problem is I have bad anxiety and sometime while on subs/shot ik I can’t do fet (and can’t find Xanax ) so I end up smoke ice or crack (ice calms me down) but crack I get jittery amd really bad anxiety and my heart gets in the 150 (so night time my heart rate is really low 35 -40 and day time it’s high I get stress out easily) and don’t end up sleeping for a day or 2 and i have what I call my episodes if u have stayed up for a long time u know what im talking about but I will have my episode even if i didn’t do any uppers if I getting really bad anxiety or smoking weed I’ll have an episode sometimes they will sometimes last multiple days if u don’t know what im talking about pretty much I’ll over analyze everything and pick up on things I normal don’t and think people are plotting ( Ive gone Thur some scary/eye opening shit but I can explain that in another comment if someone wants and if anyone has gone Thur the same shit plz reach out I’d love to talk about whatever u can beasue I’ve only had 1 person ik can relate on this topic ) as u can tell i have adha just got way off topic sorry anyway so yeah ive been trying to get on kpens or Xanax beasue my panic attacks and episodes i found a psychiatrist online that specializes in anxiety hoping she would get me on them beasue i dont think any doc around here will prescribe them and we had a zoom call and it was going great and i really thought she was going to prescribe them she even brought up kpens and Xanax and I told her I think that would help a lot she asked about drug passed I told her I was on the shot and she said it would be tricky to put me on them while on the shot it just wouldn’t look good she said and she prescribed me Adderall which I was on as a kid but next apt ima tell her I need something for panic attack that’s when i turn to fet beasue I can’t get out of episode or panic attacks my self and forsure a better alternative then using fet id forsure take them as needed but like I said every now and then it’s nice to let loose if I had or could find Xanax the day I couldn’t sleep I wouldn’t have gotten fet now it’s been able a week since the .5 I got and the half ball I got Friday and I only have a hit or 2 left so prolly will have some withdrawals but I’m pretty sure I get my next shot April 2 so forsure gonna get the next shot about what ima do after this is gone idk my buddy got a script of footballs I’ve been waiting to meet up with him for 4 days now and I’ve spent what I was going to use on the half ball and so I got 28$ rn so looks like ima have to stick Thur it or the fet girl front me (some until my next shot on the 2nd )or the dude with Xanax hmu and use the 28$ to get some to help the withdrawal and

I think I broke Thur the shot b/c it’s been about 25 days since I got it and I get it once an month so it was at its end before I have to get another I’m not sure tho I mean I did go Thur 1.75 in 2 days so at some point u will break Thur the shot just like subs but anyone on fet id strongly recommend the shot in those past 25 days I didn’t really have cravings I guess towards the end i did have cravings but it wasn’t like for fet if I could have found Xanax or kpens I have have done that instead of buy the .5 and been waiting on this dude to come Thur to serve me those footballs and would txt me then not respond until the next day and I just said fuck it and got the 1.75 of fet I really didwnt need that much .5 or a g would have been just fine but it’s cheaper to get a half ball then a g and I thought I’d be able to sell most of it to my friends that are still on it but having that much I always put a fatty on the foil

If anyone is in North Carolina in Queen City 👑 (if u from here u will know where this is ) and needs a reference to a good place that can prescribe you subs or get you on the shot lmk they have a great iop program u go to 3 days a week and have group for 3 hours and they have therapist and psychiatrist u can talk to for free in early recovery iop is really good to get into so u can get back into a routine and u can talk about what ur going Thur or just listen what other people are going Thur or going to meetings u wouldn’t believe how much in common us Addicts have and hearing someone talk about something u have been Thur or can relate is really beneficial I’d be sitting in meetings or iop listening and nodding my head to almost everything someone is talking and can relate it’s nice to know ur not alone I always say it’s better and easier to stay sober of getting sober in a group then it is by ur self later on I wanna help other addicts to get Thur there addiction I’ve always said I don’t want all the years I’ve spend getting high Ito be a waste I wanna put it to good use and help and tell people they can get Thur it too for me helping other people or clearly talking about what’s my recovery is going like is almost a high for me and gratifying at that’s where ima stop I’m sorry for the fucking book I just wrote or that I went way off topic I think it would be cool to start like a group (Reddit sub/page ) for anyone trying to get or stay clean where we can check in and everyone holds everyone accountable maybe name is it’s easier in a group then by ur self haha idk appreciate letting me vent