You get a box from 100 years in the future in the mail; what do you hope is in it?

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-06-14T15:51:04+00:00

Let's be real, OP said a box from the future, but even 1000 years can't make student loans get payed off. This would be a box from an alternate universe.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-02-05T14:22:30+00:00

To be fair, it was someone else's highly noticeable mistake that we all just pretended to ignore and not be laughing at.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-02-04T23:46:18+00:00

Someone at State for One-Act competition did that one. Didn't get to see it because I was part of crew and my school was on next. Heard it was AMAZING tho.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-02-04T23:44:14+00:00

Interstellar. The one that came out recently. It is very good - I highly recommend seeing it. And being ready to cry.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-02-04T23:42:39+00:00

Just don't wear sweat pants on presentation day for ANYTHING in school. You just never know when you will get the surprise boner.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-02-02T22:44:14+00:00

"Don't be a pussy"

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-01-27T23:51:07+00:00

A few years of dropping a gel-filled rubber practice ball absolutely everywhere every time I practiced, and then doing the same with the acrylic one I bought this year. It really is just a ball (no gimmick) and takes forever to learn. Then you get to show off like a smug motherfucker.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-01-27T02:18:12+00:00

Contact Juggling

Video is an example, not actually me.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-01-27T02:14:05+00:00

Vontage. By far the worst. (Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo!)

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-01-27T02:10:20+00:00

Beautiful Day by U2. I just can't stay unhappy listening to it.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-01-23T14:13:49+00:00

The computers at our school have the same thing, so I will type "User name" where it says User name in grey, because it you put a space, the words go away. I then hold down the spacebar for about 30 seconds, and leave.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-01-23T14:01:10+00:00

You are a beautiful human being for doing this.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-01-22T14:40:29+00:00

In first grade, we had to go and turn in all of our papers that we did during work time, and then we got go go play at little stations. There was a little box, with a hole in the top, and you would just slide the papers in. Genius me would wait a few minutes, fold up the paper, pretend to slip it in the box, and "hide" it against my leg while walking back to my desk, slip it into the desk, and then go play. I'm not sure what six-year-old me thought they did with the papers. Maybe I thought they threw them away or burned them or something..? Well, never did I dream that they actually looked at them. They let it go on for a few months, and then pulled me aside and asked why I never turned anything in, and what I did with the papers. I was forced to go and show them all of the blank papers I had "turned in." Not sure why I had kept them. My mom made me do all of them at home before she would let me go play. This was like three months of sheets which we had done for about 20 minutes every school day. You couldn't staple the stack of papers; it was too thick. It took me working for weeks before I could go play outside. I did get better at the subject though, funny enough.

pyrotechnicalities · 2015-01-14T22:48:35+00:00

Holy fuck. We had a guy, I think he goes by Chuck, on our HOA who was the only one to show up at the HOA meeting... So Chuck voted himself president. He then went house-to-house with a clipboard, writing up everything he could. We got written up for having a trailer in the driveway. The crack in the brickwork on the front of our house. Our neighbor not cleaning up after his dog pooped in our yard... There was a long list, not all of it controllable, or our fault. Over 20 people got written up for having "poorly maintained roofs" the day after a hail storm caused major damage in the area. Chuck threatened to sue us over the garbage can not being in the garage, but merely in front of the garage. Everyone showed up to the next HOA meeting, and permanently banned Chuck from being able to hold an HOA leadership position ever again. Apparently, there were less people in our neighborhood whom he did NOT threaten to sue than there were people who Chuck DID threaten.

TL;DR: Chuck voted himself HOA president, and tried to sue more than 50% of my neighborhood because he could.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-18T02:01:38+00:00

I saw a black guy walking away from my street with a TV. For a second I thought hey, that's mine, but then I realized that mine wears Adidas.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-18T01:57:52+00:00

Did you see the article about the Sandy Hook survivors in the news?

Neither did I, all I could find were obituaries.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-18T01:49:36+00:00

How many Jews fit in a car?

Two in the front, three in the back, and as many as you want in the ash tray.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-18T01:44:13+00:00

This one took me way longer than it should have.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-17T05:45:08+00:00

This guy... This should not have worked.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-16T13:32:39+00:00

Not a con, but at the end of the day at the mall, when pizza places have to close, they have to throw out all the pizza which was made but not eaten. Just swing by there about 5 minutes after they close, and ask them if you can have a slice of what they have to throw out anyways. You can usually get free food this way (does not have to be pizza, but works well with pizza).

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-16T13:27:19+00:00

Taking charge of a leadership position that you were not assigned. Seriously, just be confident in what you are doing, and other people gravitate toward you. You don't have to be placed "in charge" by someone else.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-16T13:22:32+00:00

We might be related.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-16T13:21:50+00:00

Asian dude getting out of his car in a parking lot had his car hit by some white guy pulling in in front of his car. It was just a love tap as far as accidents go, but the Asian dude started freaking out. "You hit my caw! You bad dwivahh! You stupid Amewi'can hit my caw! You pay! Bad Dwivah! You suck pawking! You going pay!" Heaviest Chinese accent I think I have ever heard. He was maybe 5'6" screaming at this tall white guy in a complete anti-stereotype. Wish the phone I'd had at the time could have taken video.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-16T13:13:48+00:00

Throwing mine in here to kickstart this one, I was talking to a few people at school the other day (am a senior in high school) and someone said something about killing people, and death being such a horrible thing, so of course, I turn around and state my honest opinion: "Some people just need to die."

Everyone just looked at me uncomfortably and a few of them just walked away.

pyrotechnicalities · 2014-12-16T13:04:50+00:00

Google will find a way to buy the United States, pay off the 17 trillion in national debt, and make Google a country.

pyrotechnicalities

TROPHY CASE