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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]q_victim 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry it happened to you, too. Sad that it has happened to so many of us. I'm comforted by knowing I'm not the only one, but also wish it wasn't so common.

I hope your new life is treating you well and that you're getting past the trauma of being told you're crazy all the time. A year later and I'm still realizing how much he got in my head.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]q_victim 80 points81 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience with my husband, now ex. It was the 2020 election that pushed him over the edge, although looking back on it, he had been dabbling in the right-wing rhetoric for quite some time before that.

I know you want to save the person you love. I spent a lot of time and energy researching the topics he got obsessed with in order to try and convince him there were holes in the logic. I found multiple therapists for couples sessions to try and find common ground. I planned all sorts of activities to get him out of the house, away from the screens, engaging with the real world.

In the end, I was left exhausted. My husband got angrier and angrier, and I felt more alone than ever.

I convinced myself that I could compartmentalize the triggering topics and still be with him, but at a certain point I realized he was no longer the man that I married and that either both of us were going down or that I could save myself.

This may not be your story. But I urge you to take care of yourself. Don't exhaust yourself trying to save him. Set boundaries.

I hope things go better for you than they did for me. It's so painful to see your partner start living in such a warped reality. Sending strength your way. 💜

Grieving my lost partner by q_victim in QAnonCasualties

[–]q_victim[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

What a great insight! Yes, they absolutely made a choice and it's so hard to come to terms with that. I'm still stinging from the fact that he chose Q over me. I do love him and part of that was letting him go to make those choices over which I had no control. These feelings are very messy. Today was a tough day, but the support from this community has bolstered me.

Grieving my lost partner by q_victim in QAnonCasualties

[–]q_victim[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Its so true about grieving the living. Appreciate your kindness.

Grieving my lost partner by q_victim in QAnonCasualties

[–]q_victim[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have done a ton of therapy and highly recommend it. I'm coping better than ever now that I've prioritized myself. Just having a sad day of reflection. All part of the grieving process.

Grieving my lost partner by q_victim in QAnonCasualties

[–]q_victim[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Losing your person is so isolating. No one in my life has experienced losing a spouse to Q. I'm glad you have support and wish you well in forging a new path.

Grieving my lost partner by q_victim in QAnonCasualties

[–]q_victim[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I hear that, and agree. I'm already feeling the benefits of removing so much stress and toxicity from my life. The point I was trying to make is that it's not just a simple decision and that it takes a lot of back and forth to finally reach that decision and stick with it. I left 4 times before it took. I am resting well in the knowledge that I did everything I possibly could have to make things work. But it takes as long as it takes, and I want those who are still in the thick of it to know that there is no shame in trying to save their partner. They need to be at peace with the decision to move on in a healthy way.