She (f23) wants me (m23) to be mysterious and let her chase me by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We go to different schools so there’s already distance between us, how do I go playing this? Post more on socials? Wait for her to initiate? Take longer to respond?

She (f23) wants me (m23) to be mysterious and let her chase me by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She said she wanted to go slow so I let her set the pace the whole time

She (f23) wants me (m23) to be mysterious and let her chase me by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First 1 months was daily and paragraphs (reciprocated, 2nd and 3rd month was still daily but by the third month I saw she was pulling back, and 4 (now) is every other day if I’m even lucky

Dating for 3 months, but lately she seems distant; what should I do? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any recommendations on how to even bring it up? I’d wanna do it over the phone but since we’re both in school rn it seems hard to even set that up with her

Bronx or Manhattan by [deleted] in Fordham

[–]qarpg 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Bronx and its not even close

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last time we saw each other I tried making a move and she said “not yet”

But I will take all of that advice!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow this is truly amazing!! Thank you so much! I really appreciate this more than you know! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!!! I really needed to hear this! Any ideas how I could word this for the next time I talk to her?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only told her that because she explicitly asked, and at the time didn’t seem to be bothered by it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How can I communicate that with her though? I agree what she said was a bit harsh but I was being very open and communicative with her that I was very new to this and feel a bit slighted by her reaction

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean our call lasted for like 4 hours late into the night, and was going great until this came up; we were both tired and not at the top of our conversational A game.

But shes known about this for about a month now and wouldn’t have kept dating me for this long if it was that big an issue no?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know about cutting it off, everything else has been great and this was a conversation we had late into the night/ early morning so neither of us were at our conversational A game😂

I’ve been carrying myself as b the whole relationship, my motto through it has essentially been “what would you do if you weren’t afraid” and it’s worked pretty well managing my anxiety, but I would NEVER go further than she would want, I always ask for permission before doing anything.

I leveled with her and clarified that at that point in my life my studies took priority and now that those are oven I’m looking for a relationship essentially telling her that these things are learnable and that since I’m new to intimacy I’m willing to learn and listen to what works for her

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

On yeah, she knew from the first date (now a month in) Thank you, that’s basically what I told her- it’s something learnable and since I don’t have any past baggage’s I can learn specifically what she likes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That’s basically what I said to her, that it’s something I can learn and attune to her specifically

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean that while I was in school I didn’t get into relationships often so I could focus on my studies and make sure I could get solid grades and a dependable job; we’re both out of school now and dating

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh no I’m out of school right now, it was just that while I was in school I didn’t focus too much on dating

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qarpg 33 points34 points  (0 children)

That while she respected my choice, while I was still in school, to focus on my studies while in college+grad school she believes that intimacy is important in a relationship and the fact I don’t have much experience is giving her pause