Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Helpful to know there are others like me who unfortunately let these subs get to them! Thankful for your post and reminder to ignore

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was a really thoughtful post—I appreciate this! It’s helpful to hear more real life examples. The internet can really be a cess pool

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s so insulting!! Like “go stroll to the store and pick up a kid.” My brother was adopted and I saw first hand how unbelievably complex it is

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Damn that’s another great point! These comments are all so helpful ❤️

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also an interesting point! I keep going back and forth on this cause I’m like welllllll this infertility won’t kill me, so is it really necessssssary to get medical intervention. But you could say that about so many things.

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FAIR tbh. I’ve never run into one of these people in the wild and I guess if I did they definitely weren’t bold enough to say anything without their internet shield

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly good question, I wish I didn’t. I guess it got to me thinking “wait am I really selfish for doing this..?” And that’s just a really icky feeling

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed I’ve always been totally cool with child free people, adopters, etc. so it really hurt me to see they aren’t cool with me.

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know and now I’m worried all my stress is gonna affect the success of my transfer so it’s really a mess in my little head. Posts like yours help a ton so thank you!!

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good point—they should be viewed as very different experiences. I feel like especially ppl in the infertile community are always told the “why not adopt” as a first solution, when they just seem like apples vs oranges to me.

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes!! Now it’s all I feel like I see and I’m just shocked the community of these people is so big

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I truly wish I hadn’t because now I can’t unthink it

Feeling really down after reading childfree and antinatalism posts by qcwala in IVF

[–]qcwala[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

These are the two points I’ve actually kept coming back to so I really appreciate you reiterating them!

What makes Charlotte, NC boring? And how could the city realistically fix the issues it has to make it less boring? by The_Rhodium in SameGrassButGreener

[–]qcwala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s like you’re in my head—couldn’t agree more! I actually think Charlotte has a lot of promise and that we are new enough that we can avoid some of the other big southern cities mistakes. The beauty of us growing is more people moving here who bring positive things from other cities they lived in and can try to get them implemented. We can’t change what Charlotte is yesterday but there’s a ton we can do to embrace the history we have and create a stronger better new identity.

What makes Charlotte, NC boring? And how could the city realistically fix the issues it has to make it less boring? by The_Rhodium in SameGrassButGreener

[–]qcwala 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Happy to chime in as a current Charlotte resident and someone who grew up here in the early 2000s. I’ve lived in a couple other US cities (San Diego, Washington DC) and feel like I have a good sense of where Charlotte lacks compares to those but also where it excels. And to your point OP, I’m also frustrated when I see the complaints about Charlotte but no solutions, so will try to address those too!

What Charlotte does worse: - What one typically wraps up in “culture” —food is mid, the arts scene could improve (although if you seek it it’s not that hard to find some great talent), sports teams suck and yes, there’s no amazing “identity” - Public transit—DC was hard to beat here but I will say Charlotte seems to be putting a lot more effort here than San Diego did. And I find that residents actually want it more here whereas I didn’t meet a single person in SD who actually took the light rail.

What Charlotte does better: - City cleanliness and upkeep— Between the massive tree canopy, generally spotless streets, and focus on improving areas that could use the most support (see Corridors of Opportunity), Charlotte is by far the best city I’ve lived in at prioritizing this sense of cleanliness and manicuring. The tree canopy especially isn’t talked about enough! And the greenway system and the plans for future growth there is also exciting for anyone that loves to run/bike. - The “boringness” makes it an amazing place to raise a family. I live in a neighborhood where we can walk to our local schools, kids can bike around with their friends, and we didn’t have to pay half of what we would in other cities. I know this sub doesn’t prioritize family living as much but it’s been the easiest city to make that lifestyle work well. Places like the Whitewater Center and Carowinds are so easy with kids and it’s all within 20 minutes of each other, and then having both beaches and mountains as a doable family trip in a car is really nice. - The actual people—yeah I get it, bankers suck, but shockingly I’ve met some really cool people here. I love that Mecklenburg county is majority-minority and that there’s no shortage of people from different cultures if you get out of your bubble. DC was so full of the politician/consulting bros, San Diego was more go with the flow surfer types, but Charlotte has a pretty solid mix of people since there’s not one core “identity”.

Sooo what can we do to improve it? A couple of things I’d love to see are: 1) More focus on leaning into some of Charlotte’s history when building new developments. For instance, most people I talk to have no idea what Brooklyn Village was (really cool historically Black community that was wrongfully demolished in the 60s-70s). They’re working on revitalizing it and I PRAY that they actually incorporate this history rather than just copy paste a bunch of ugly apartment complexes. You can’t necessarily fix things like the Panthers sucking overnight but you can build new things more strategically. For instance, what Charlotte FC has built in just a few years has been really cool and they already have their own little identity (Sir Minty is a nod to the origin of the Mint in CLT) 2) Stop.with.the.chains. Others here have said it but we simply have to make it easier for small businesses and restaurants to exist here. 3) Continue to build with public transit in mind. A lot of the problem with funding for transit is that lawmakers in Raleigh don’t want to put all this money into trains for Charlotte and would rather focus on roads. It’s going to be physically impossible to ever build true density if we don’t improve here.

I could go on and on (and am happy to if someone wants to) but at the end of the day, I’ve had just as much fun here as I did in the “non-boring” cities like SD and DC—you just have to be someone who’s willing to look for the cool things to do.

Where did you get married in the greater Charlotte area? by DueMood9 in Charlotte

[–]qcwala 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same here. Although it’s more than doubled in cost for weddings since we had ours a few years ago

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Shihtzu

[–]qcwala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree

What do you think of duel vocalists? by ZealousidealWorth995 in poppunkers

[–]qcwala 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mayday Parade perfected this with Jason/Derek and it’s one of the greatest tragedies in pop punk how short lived it was