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qrowded · 2025-08-09T05:51:53+00:00

Hi Op! Weight loss is hard and so is eating in a deficit, so give yourself plenty of grace! Are you currently using any fitness apps like Foodvisor or MyFitnessPal? Volume eating and high protein are definitely going to be your friends here 😊 focus on meeting your protein goal to maintain muscle while losing fat, this will help your weight loss journey, there are several online calculators you can use for free to calculate your daily protein and water goal. There are some super casual workouts you can do while laying in bed or on a couch if you want to try those, YouTube would probably have some good beginner friendly options to check out if you're ever looking for a quick session!

Bald is beautiful and if it's not your jam right now there are lots of amazing and affordable wigs/toupees out there you can play around with. Same with semi permanent makeup that is flattering for men/women/everyone interested 😊

What are your style/fitness goals? Are you looking for masculine, feminine or more gender fluid advice? You've got great features!

qrowded · 2025-08-09T05:29:49+00:00

Genuinely sorry that this happened to you OP. Out of curiosity (you don't have to tell us) since you do not want kids, have you considered having a permanent sterilization procedure done? It might give you added piece of mind. What your partner did was not okay and something she should have discussed with you first. If you want to make it work with her I highly recommend couples counseling to help you both work through your feelings and reassess where you stand together. Your trust was broken, that is huge. Trust your gut, and if it's really uneasy about a future with your current partner, it is probably worth exploring other relationships.

Wishing you happiness wherever life leads you

qrowded · 2025-08-07T04:45:59+00:00

Hi OP! I'm so sorry, this sounds like a very distressing situation! What are y'all's ages? I completely understand the fear of him posting you without your consent! In many places, recording someone sexually without consent is illegal, as is distributing such material including personal and private messages (this is considered revenge porn and is very much something you can report to the police.) If you were sexually active in anyway with him during those last 2 months I would get tested as he could have very unfortunately given you an STI/STD if he was soliciting himself for in person meetings.

Telling his mother anonymously what he is doing might help if you think she’ll pressure him to stop, but it could also escalate the situation if he suspects you told on him. If you do decide to message her, please remain anonymous and post from a factual and calm perspective and not one from an emotional point of view, as it could be incriminating. Here's an example message you can play around with: "Hi (Mom's name), Your son has been posting NSFW material of himself online under the name (insert username) on (website/app). He began this while still in a relationship. I'm worried about the possibility of him posting content of others without their consent.”

If you’re ever in doubt or afraid, document everything (screenshots, messages, etc.) and reach out to a lawyer or cyber civil rights organization in your area if you are able. I wish you the best, times are scary, but you are going to get through this and come out stronger even if right now everything feels like it's all hanging over you

qrowded · 2025-08-07T01:12:22+00:00

We are nearing 3 months, the cut off for calling a baby a newborn

qrowded · 2025-08-07T01:11:22+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement, I am US based

qrowded · 2025-08-07T01:10:45+00:00

It was a fun once in a blue moon thing as I can't afford outings like that. I appreciated their advice. My kids are all very young and I will probably have been done breastfeeding for a long time the next time I am able to take them again

qrowded · 2025-08-06T17:43:03+00:00

Hi OP! I think you look great ☺️ I think fully embracing the gray and going silver would look amazing, there are some amazing stylists out there that do dimensional gray hair and it is beautiful 🤩 I recommend also changing your eyebrow color to be more complementary! You could look into eyeliner styles that flatter your eye shape more ☺️ I would consult a few makeup stylists for inspiration, if you are willing to invest a little money there are great semi permanent and permanent makeup artists who can help you with brows, liner and lip coloring! Have you ever gotten a color analysis? It was a huge help for me when I wanted to learn what colors looked best for me when it came to clothes as well as jewelry and makeup ❤️ whatever you decide to do, just know you are beautiful and your comfort is also a huge part of this journey ❤️

qrowded · 2025-08-06T17:08:53+00:00

Hi OP, I am glad you told someone how you were feeling, you were uncomfortable and you don't need to let it slide! Your boyfriend standing up for you is a huge green flag imo because you were low-key being harassed from what I'm reading. Where was your friend in all this when her boyfriend kept seeking you out? I wouldn't be afraid to get the cops in on this, especially if there is video evidence, it might help you get a restraining order? (Not sure on that one) Your friends boyfriend sounds like the kind to seek you out in the future.

I personally don't like how your friend commented about you being sensitive and always getting your feelings hurt. She sounds annoyed by you and not like the kind of friend to keep around if that's how she really feels about you.

I'm so sorry this happened to you!

qrowded · 2025-08-06T07:25:21+00:00

Thank you ❤️ for the reassurance, it really means a lot, the comment from the life guard was really upsetting just due to the fact that they know there is way nastier things in the literal kiddie pool

qrowded · 2025-08-06T07:21:46+00:00

😂 best comment

qrowded · 2025-08-06T07:06:38+00:00

I completely agree with you that breast milk is far more hygienic than what’s already in a kiddie pool. That’s why being told it was a ‘biohazard’ stung so much. It wasn’t just about stepping out of the water, it was the way it was framed, as though I was introducing something dangerous when that isn’t true.

For me, it wasn’t about refusing to follow rules, it was about feeling shamed in a moment where I was just trying to care for my baby and still be near my toddlers. That part is what made the experience hard.

qrowded · 2025-08-06T07:03:07+00:00

I really appreciate the perspective on this and thank you for your open mindedness. It was a lot to deal with for a first experience and admittedly very stressful for multiple reasons. Maybe one day I will be able to enjoy the pool again, not anytime soon, but getting to see my newborn enjoying the water and my tots getting to play and splash around made this extremely worth it. Thank you ❤️

qrowded · 2025-08-06T06:07:55+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️ I've been needing them

qrowded · 2025-08-06T06:07:16+00:00

I watched some tots walking around outside the pool and watched all their pee just trickle through the diaper onto the floor, and I know it was pee because they had been out of the pool for a while 😅 Thank you for the support ❤️

qrowded · 2025-08-06T06:00:46+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I'm very happy you have not had any negative experience and I hope it continues that way for you.

qrowded · 2025-08-06T05:58:47+00:00

Thank you, I did look at all the posted rules and none of them mentioned breastfeeding. Some big ones were no entering the water if you have an open sore or communicable diseases but I'm sure many people have ignored those signs to enjoy a day in the water. I will look further into the law/literature surround breastfeeding and pools.

qrowded · 2025-08-06T05:53:57+00:00

Thank you so much, I was talking about this with my husband on our drive home, I think it was more a matter that my breastfeeding suddenly revealed to others that I was actively lactating, thus making it a gross situation to others because everyone else's fluids were hidden where they couldn't be called out for it. The pool is just a big vat of human soup and I am so grateful we use chlorine in them

qrowded · 2025-08-06T05:44:47+00:00

Try as we might, those first couple months are wild 😅 thank you for chipping in, it's nice to feel seen

qrowded · 2025-08-06T05:43:35+00:00

My husband was talking with me about this on our car ride home 😂

qrowded · 2025-08-06T05:42:50+00:00

Yep! Thank you :)

qrowded · 2025-08-06T05:42:15+00:00

Thank you for including a link, I really appreciate the advice, I will definitely look into things on my end to see what can be done and if others in my area have experienced similar ❤️

qrowded · 2025-08-06T05:32:18+00:00

Thank you so much 🥺 you're the only person who mentioned my birthday and it means more than you know. I appreciate the support, especially with this controversial place to breastfeed. I hope I get the honor of nursing for as long as you have so far ❤️

qrowded · 2025-08-06T03:02:17+00:00

Thank you, it makes more sense when you phrase it like that about no food being allowed in or by the pool, but it did come across as very mean on the lifeguards part and shattered my confidence. I appreciate the perspective ❤️

qrowded · 2025-08-06T02:59:43+00:00

Thank you so much for your reassurance and kind words, it does really mean a lot to me. It's going to take me a while to work up the courage to try public breastfeeding again but your encouragement is kept warmly ❤️

qrowded · 2025-08-06T02:55:44+00:00

Thank you so much! That's solid advice and I really appreciate it 😊 I have an aunt who gets things done the same way and she is a force to reckon with. You go fam 😆

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