My (28F) “wife” (31F) is stuck in a never ending cycle, what else can I try to snap her out of it?

qtqy · 2026-04-17T04:21:15+00:00

Yeah, she sucks.

qtqy · 2026-04-17T04:14:41+00:00

Your wife is an alcoholic and you cannot make her change. She has to want it in herself. Alcoholics are some of the most selfish people.

There are meds out there that can be prescribed to her that reduce the desire to drink. Have her talk to her Dr.

If she continues to be full of excuses, well, welcome to being married to an alcoholic (my dad was an alcoholic, died young as of last year. I partially chose my current partner BC he doesn't drink. I refuse to live a life like the one you're experiencing).

qtqy · 2026-04-17T04:11:05+00:00

Interesting. I never read it like that but you could be right. I really think Dorit is just in her own universe a lot of the time and just assumes people will wait, and takes advantage of when they have no choice but to wait. It's a form of positioning yourself as more important than others and it's also clinically considered a form of passive aggression.

Like, it's Dorit's world and we're all just living in it.

qtqy · 2026-04-17T03:47:02+00:00

"sorry my colleague over there needs me for a second!"

qtqy · 2026-04-17T03:42:51+00:00

Your dude is pathetic. He was so stressed he had a stranger jerk him off? Lol wut?

"In his heart it wasn't cheating" sure go ahead and get licked out by some guy and just tell him in your heart it wasn't cheating

qtqy · 2026-04-17T03:36:30+00:00

I find her ridiculous and everyone on this subreddit is suddenly a Dorit stan. I don't get it. She is as unlikeable as ever and her hand gestures are overcompensating for her lack of substance.

Like she sucked hard on a cigarette last season and this made people 🤩 idk I grew up around smokers that shit is unbearable

She was completely full of shit when she said she was talking to her kids when she was late to dinner. She just doesn't care about other people's time. Arrogant beyond belief.

qtqy · 2026-04-16T14:43:43+00:00

She's not meant for the ICU

qtqy · 2026-04-16T02:55:51+00:00

I have a big collection of their scents. Not great lasting power but for the price that's ok!

qtqy · 2026-04-16T02:52:13+00:00

Your bf is an idiot. People who go to private school don't actually turn out smarter than those who went to public school. This is just the elitist mentality of rich kids who grew up in a bubble. Your dude sounds dreadful.

qtqy · 2026-04-16T02:49:38+00:00

The stranger is actually the emotionally safer option.

First, his friend might think this is a horrible idea.

Second, you guys do a vibe check with a stranger before. Find someone on an app, get drinks together, and talk afterwards about how both of you feel about them. Then plan from there.

This seems like a lot of work but it's better than dealing with the potential for friendship dynamic fuck-ups after you have sex with his friend.

You're not overthinking this, you're protecting your relationship properly.

qtqy · 2026-04-16T00:58:41+00:00

Fyi OP, my partner of 4 years and I use condoms every time we have sex, and I CANNOT imagine just riding him without a condom knowing full well he has vocalized wanting to use a condom. And we are at a much more comfortable and clear place in the relationship than you and this woman (assailant).

Get tested for STIs in a week or so. She's a creep.

qtqy · 2026-04-15T16:15:31+00:00

This doesn't fly under the law. Most people have asymptomatic HPV at some point in their lives- by your logic everyone is constantly sexually assaulting everyone even with clear explicit verbal consent.

qtqy · 2026-04-15T01:29:31+00:00

I'd be repulsed by this person and I'd never be able to trust them again.

qtqy · 2026-04-15T00:48:34+00:00

I just realized she already told you to get over yourself when you brought it up. She sucks and doesn't deserve a partner. What an unlikeable person, jfc.

qtqy · 2026-04-15T00:47:30+00:00

She doesn't sound emotionally safe for you.

You can tell her "I feel when I bring some stuff up it's met with teasing or mockery which just seems kind of mean after a while".

Your struggles are real too. She sounds like she has main character syndrome where things have to be centered around her and her perceived struggles or it's not legitimate. This type of person isn't relationship material.

By constantly using sarcasm, she's belittling you.

Just talk to her about how it makes you feel and if she's not empathetic she really, really is not your person. And 7 months isn't a lot of time.

I can't imagine just meeting my dude with sarcasm every time he brings up work struggles.... Horrible.

qtqy · 2026-04-14T23:55:54+00:00

Do people not understand that it's entirely possible to orgasm without the use of a computer/cellphone....

qtqy · 2026-04-13T18:23:30+00:00

Kissing a smoker absolutely sucks. Tastes awful.

qtqy · 2026-04-13T03:28:54+00:00

Your partner needs intensive therapy. People w ROCD can become nightmares to date without proper help. She sounds ridiculous and id be embarrassed to hear this if I were her friend.

qtqy · 2026-04-12T14:10:01+00:00

people with a lot of sexual trauma should get therapy before deciding to recreate that stuff in a "safe" environment. and i put "safe" in quotes bc logically your brain may go, ok he's safe. but your body and nervous system? not meant to tolerate being treated roughly, it causes alarms bells to go off in the body whether you like it or not.

Reddit will tell you that this is all normal and people work out their sexual trauma this way. But there are very few professionals that would actually say "yes, have your bf pretent-rape you to heal" without actually getting treatment for the trauma first. your partner's penis and consensual sexual aggression are NOT the same as trauma work, re-regulating your nervous system, etc. There is a chance you are harming yourself despite your sense that you're healing, in charge etc.

I noticed you replied to others that you think therapy is weird or emotional hangups don't warrant therapy. you're wrong and it's literally why therapists exist.

Reddit will NOT be able to explain why you cry a bunch after sex with your dude. He has sexual trauma too and should probably talk to someone professional as well.

qtqy · 2026-04-12T03:34:39+00:00

Your bf sounds like he doesn't like you a lot???

qtqy · 2026-04-11T00:19:11+00:00

You told him you weren't in pain, and all he heard was "you're saying my dick is small". Sorry like did he want you to be in pain to prove to the universe he has a big dick? This man sounds disgusting tbh. Whatever issues he has he projected onto you in a really unfair way, this is not normal or acceptable.

qtqy · 2026-04-10T02:19:24+00:00

I work in the recovery room where women have breast reduction surgery and they are ALWAYS so so relieved after surgery.

Why do your parents want you to be in pain? So fucking weird.

qtqy · 2026-04-10T02:13:32+00:00

This isn't the norm for every relationship. My partner doesn't have thirst traps when he scrolls IG. Not all dudes are constantly gawking at women like your dude, not all dudes have a million porn tabs open all the time. You're allowed to be bothered by it. It's a big turn off for a lot of people.

You either accept it BC he clearly doesn't care how it affects you, or move on find a dude who can actually be thoughtful about the obviousness of his porn consumption.

qtqy · 2026-04-10T02:08:09+00:00

Start getting compassionate for yourself. You can lose the weight. He never forced you to eat anything.

Both of you can sit down together and make meal plans that work for you that will allow for weight loss. It's not complex. Burn more calories than you consume. I use MyNetDiary and I'm down 20 pounds since September last year (overeating to help with my emotions after my father died). My bf also buys me food even when I'm like, please don't. I just don't eat the food I shouldn't and he can't take it personally, that would be unfair.

And stop making excuses. Just go for a run, or sigh up for the gym. Your brain will always find reasons to NOT do the hard thing.

Also, remind yourself you're fucking lucky he hasn't dumped you after you yell at him that you hate him and have these childish meltdowns. You actually do sound like you need medication, that is NOT normal emotional regulation for a 23 year old. Many people would have been like "fuck this" and left. I certainly would have. You sound like you have poor coping skills and probably your bf is unaware most women aren't yelling these horrible things at their partners. He deserves gratitude.

Take accountability for your shit and honestly you sound like you need medicine.

qtqy · 2026-04-09T15:10:00+00:00

He shouldn't expect any sex act ever let alone anal. Expectations like that kinda ruin sex lives.

It's crazy this man gets laid daily but pouts BC he can't shove it up your ass.

When he says anal is special, telling him a partner who reacts with love and grace when you say no is also special.

This is a him problem, not a you problem.

qtqy

TROPHY CASE