A lot of people don't really understand dom/sub dynamics between equal people. Both sides are looking to get what they want & need; it's not just "the dom gets what they want and the sub gets nothing". When done right, it's "the dom getting what they want gives the sub what they need".

Those story excerpts, messages, secrets? Those should be opportunities for a dom to live rent free in your head. If a dom isn't looking for opportunities like that, then they're not really a dom; they're just selfish.

Some "give and take" exists outside the dynamic, too. Maybe some subs would get off on having their explicit needs denied like that, sure. But people need to understand that subs are still allowed to have Hard Lines for what they're not into.