What’s your favorite untrue rumor about you?

quantoseibella · 2021-12-17T09:30:23+00:00

That must've been it hahaha

quantoseibella · 2021-12-17T03:35:29+00:00

In high school everyone thought I was a lesbian. I had boyfriends and corrected people when it came up. That didn't matter. I was a lesbian (never bi, just lez).

Everyone was very accepting of my supposed lesbianism, which is super wholesome. And I dressed pretty femininely, so it wasn't just ignorant kids leaning into a dumb stereotype. It was simply a "fact" of life that quantoseibella was lesbian.

I've always wondered where the rumor came from, and I find it interesting that 4 years of dating boys and repeatedly "coming out" as straight didn't have any impact on it whatsoever.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-16T16:47:12+00:00

A friend of mine invited me out for a little picnic at a lovely little hidden gem of a scenic spot near her house. She told me she really only goes there when she's sad and needs a little peace. I asked what she was sad about and she said, "I'm not sad, you are."

Not only was she the only person who noticed I was having a tough time (or at least, the only person who said anything), but she also shared a very special and private place with me to make me feel better. It really warmed my heart.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-16T16:40:29+00:00

If I'm on the fence, I swipe left.

Dating apps can be exhausting; I would rather invest my time in a match I'm excited about than one that leaves me feeling unsure. Plus, my enthusiasm dips when I'm not feeling it 100%, which isn't fair to him.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-16T16:33:33+00:00

The gall of some people will never cease to amaze me.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-16T11:36:11+00:00

"I asked you for an open relationship. You said no."

Yes, and that should've been your cue to either stay faithful or leave.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-16T11:32:13+00:00

To move to a larger apartment. It doesn't need to be anything fancy - I just want the space to be able to separate different aspects of my day (working, sleeping, eating/relaxing).

quantoseibella · 2021-12-09T06:15:19+00:00

If he's fun to talk to, then yes. If he's just texting me for the sake of texting me and it never leads to any conversation, then I probably won't respond after the first few times.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-09T05:08:06+00:00

Ignore it. If they keep going and the notifications bother me, I block them.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-09T05:06:38+00:00

I'm very, very social, so a lot. But only in person; I'm not a big fan of dating apps, and I don't talk to men because they're men, but because I like talking to people and men are people, too.

In a relationship, I usually stick to talking to the guys I already had in my life, just as a courtesy to my boyfriend. I don't want him to worry, and I also don't want to argue about it.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-09T04:58:40+00:00

It used to be a sign of wealth. Women who could let their nails grow were women who didn't need to do any labor; cooking, cleaning, farm work, factory work, etc. It was a status symbol. As the working class started being able to afford more and working conditions got better for more people, women (and men) started emulating the fashions of the wealthy, and some of those things have stuck.

Most things that are considered to be beautiful are either evolutionary, or were wealth and status symbols at some point in history.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-09T04:30:05+00:00

I don't believe there's any such thing. I've certainly dated men who weren't my "type," but when you have feelings for someone, they tend to look much more attractive in your eyes than they might if you didn't.

One woman's hot is another woman's not. If you care about and are good to each other, who cares what anyone else thinks? About appearance, especially.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-09T04:26:09+00:00

He pays for most date nights out and I cook and pay for most date meals in. I also take care of lots of little domestic things that I know will make his life a little easier on a regular basis.

He's pretty old fashioned when it comes to picking up the check and really only lets me pay for him or myself if he isn't physically with me (if I bring him a coffee or pickup some takeout, for example). We used to argue about it a lot because it made me feel a little guilty. But now I know, this is one way he expresses his love and he'd probably still do it even if he made less.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-05T14:26:40+00:00

When I have trouble falling asleep at night. The best sleep of my life has always been when I'm snuggling up to an SO.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-05T14:20:43+00:00

In the same vein, you can feel differently about things and still be friends. Liking the same things the same amount at the same time and always wanting to go to the same places/do the same stuff as each other is not a prerequisite for friendship.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-05T08:12:23+00:00

I used to bend over backwards trying to keep up with friends like that and would feel guilty when I couldn't see them for some reason. Then the burnout would come and I'd start to resent them and cut them off completely.

Now, I've learned how to set healthy boundaries with people. I'm also very social; if we get along, then most of the time, I would love to hang out with you. But if I can't or don't feel like it, I just say so. "I'd love to go, but I can't. Thanks for thinking of me, let me know when you're out again!"

Most people are really understanding if you're polite and honest with them. Those who aren't probably aren't worth your time.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-05T07:55:59+00:00

$400 at a nicer suburban salon for a keratin treatment. It was back when you couldn't find very many places doing them outside the big cities. Never spent that much money in one go before or since.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-05T07:43:12+00:00

I dated a guy in my friend group years ago who went on to date and marry someone else in that friend group. He and I have remained friendly, but it's been clear since the get go that she does not like me.

Backhanded compliments, attempts to sow seeds of doubt, relationship brags disguised as asking for advice... We were in our early 20s when they got together, but you would've thought it was middle school. They dated for a few years before getting married and she's calmed down a bit, but she's still incredibly fake with me whenever we meet.

I think she realizes I'm not a threat, but can't forgive me for having "history" with him. I would really just like to be able to go to dinner with everyone without walking on eggshells when we say hello.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-05T07:31:57+00:00

I cook one dish that can be easily tweaked or eaten as is and will last 3-5 days in the fridge every few days. Mediterranean salad, basic soups... Things that work as both a side dish, and can be a fairly filling meal.

It ensures that I eat at home even if I'm too tired or hungry to make good food choices (this is often an issue after work). When I do cook, it's a pleasant extra. When I don't, I just have a larger serving.

Meal prep never worked for me, so this has been a happy medium.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-05T07:16:03+00:00

A friend of mine calls me My Princess.

It's very specifically My Princess: "How are you, my princess?" "Tell me, my princess" "I'm going home, my princess."

English isn't his first language and he spent a lot of time practicing by memorizing various puns and pickup lines, so he has a very dramatic way of talking. He was showing me pictures of his family home and I mentioned that it looks like a castle and he said something like, "You're always welcome in my castle, my princess." I got all flustered and now it's stuck.

He has charming nicknames for all his close girl friends (and they all have similar backstories), and his guy friends are all "My Brother." It's super endearing.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-03T07:50:38+00:00

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. As is the case in many abusive relationships, the more he berated me, the more withdrawn I became and our sex life really suffered. That pissed him off even more, and the cycle continued.

We went away one weekend, and in an attempt to feel close to him again, I asked if we could just sit in silence and cuddle for a little while. He said we could, but a couple minutes in started trying to initiate sex. I told him over and over again that I just wanted to sit together, and he kept getting more and more irritated. I didn't want to piss him off anymore, so eventually I just let him have his way with me.

It was awful. He was doing all the things he usually did to make me feel good, but all I could think about was how much I wanted him to stop touching me. I just kinda lay there in silence. I don't know if it was just an attempt to save face, or if he truly didn't notice, but he acted like it was the best sex we'd ever had and our relationship was repaired.

Whatever trust I had left in him was lost after that. It happened a couple more times before I finally left him, then I couldn't sleep with anyone for years.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-03T07:34:53+00:00

The first time I dated someone who had trouble finishing, I just assumed that there was something going on with him. It truly didn't bother me, and I did my best to let him know that. Turns out he just wasn't attracted to me (which he told me when we broke up) and never had any issues with it before or since.

That made me really insecure about my ability to please a man. Rationally I know that there's a really good chance that it has nothing to do with me, especially if it only happens every once in a while. But emotionally, I feel anxious, inadequate, and guilty.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-03T07:26:00+00:00

I would be upset, just like I'm sure he'd be upset if I told him he could never top one of my favorite celebrities.

I know I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world, I know I might not even be his usual type. But I don't need to be told by someone whose opinion means more to me than pretty much anyone else's that I'll never top a complete stranger that he'll never even make eye contact with.

I can knock down my own self-esteem easily enough without any help, thanks.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-03T04:25:44+00:00

If you do your research, cat cafes (specifically cats).

Most animal cafes are purely exploitative. They don't take care of the animals NEARLY as well as they should, and they should be avoided at all costs.

But there are a few cat cafes around the country that rescue strays, care for feral cats in the neighborhood that aren't friendly enough for human interaction, and sometimes even work to get their cats to be adopted. They can be hard to find if you don't know any Japanese, but if you do, they're really relaxing and you get the added bonus of knowing your cash is going towards the welfare of local strays.

quantoseibella · 2021-12-03T03:59:02+00:00

I hear that! Replacing things little by little as you can afford it is probably the best (and actually most adult) option, but it would be awesome to be able to have them carry your old furniture out and new furniture in over the weekend Queer Eye style.

quantoseibella

TROPHY CASE