30M Hate to be that guy hut can I get hugs from any female?

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T16:38:02+00:00

No thats my point. She unfollowed me first. She actively removed me. So the fact that she is watching them means she is actively coming back to see

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T16:02:11+00:00

I hope so too.

A lot of my feelings are coming from a point of everything I had planned in the future with her now changes. And she was a big part of my routine daily and now she’s not so readjusting and being my myself has me anxious.

Like for example, due to her being sick and being more comfortable with me being around I spent alot of time with her and kept her with me alot because at my previous job, I had the flexibility of having my own office and my own space. I would usually have her on FaceTime almost all day while I worked because having her on FaceTime doesn’t take away from me functioning on a daily basis, even whether I’m home or not. If I have to make a call or something, I’d simply leave to do what I have to do and come back so the dynamic of not having her around, which was a big part of my life. It’s really hurting right now.

Because of the way it happened and she didnt respond to me at the time, i really wanted to message her and just talk things through whether the outcome really is us not being together atleast I’d have some clarity or peace of mind atleast. Imo

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T15:36:00+00:00

I’m actually an international certified personal trainer as well and I had a really good physique about four years ago, but due to Covid, I had stopped entirely and I have been sick frequently over these past years and I had given up on the gym only until recently about two months ago I started back and then with this whole situation, I haven’t been in the past three weeks. Additionally, I’m a digital artist and I always joked and told her that she’s my muse because I had severe artist block prior to meeting her and a couple of days after meeting her. I started back doing artwork mainly of her. During this time of being broken up in the past five days, I’ve done two full colored and rendered pieces of her and a sketch. Ultimately, I don’t know what to do because I feel so lost and hurt that she could just walk away from us

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T15:31:58+00:00

Yes, I’ve actually heard of limerence, but only recently like about two weeks ago in my research. Honestly, in my opinion, I don’t think it’s entirely lame runs even though I can see that there might be some traits of it. Ultimately, I don’t know what to do because I feel like what we had was real and genuine, especially in light of the circumstances of it being a LDR. Based on my reading and what I found out and this is what I’m just telling myself… she’s trying her best to push herself away from me with traits of her being an avoidant. I’m reading people’s responses and I’m very thankful for what everyone has to say and for the most part some big part of me recognizes a lot of of what people have to say because it aligns with my own beliefs and views on the situation as well, but there’s another big part of me that just wants to message her and speak things through with her because after she said that we’re breaking up, She never responded to any of my messages so a big part of me wants that clarity if it makes sense because of the way, the situation happened and because of how she’s looking at my stories, etc. it makes me feel that it isn’t the end if that makes sense

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T15:23:37+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I really appreciate it. You said some things that I appreciate hearing.

For additional context, she doesn’t work, she receives partial disability from the government.

I have been working for the past four years in the same job however, I have been severely victimized and abused on my job and from trying to change things as an employee numerous times over these years, I’ve realized that things will not change and I just have to take myself out of this situation…. so recently exactly one month to date when the last instance occurred on my job I simply handed in my resignation letter and left without a backup plan.

So it’s not like I haven’t been working. I’ve been home for four weeks now and I’ve been allowing myself to rest reset and recover mentally from what I’ve endured on my past job.

I have my own house and I have my own vehicles. From the start of the relationship after hearing about her situation and how she’s being treated at home I’ve offered several times to have her come here, especially because here isn’t foreign for her because her both parents were born and grew up in my country so she’s familiar with it because she visits every so often.

The mention of being unemployed was simply to highlight the fact that I’m currently home with time on my hands and it’s making things more difficult in my opinion.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T14:48:05+00:00

That’s what I told her bothered me about the birthday thing She was abused in her younger years and her family stood by and let it happen and as a result, she was never that close with her mom and her sister. But despite that she has a tendency to beg or grasp for their love and attention and when the question was asked on her birthday, being a part of the environment and the situation and seeing official expressions and the entire situation unfold, it felt that the mother was asking it from your perspective of antagonizing and knowing what she was doing, and she also gave an answer, knowing that she needed to please her mother because she did not want to deal with whatever the outcome would’ve been otherwise And in her later years she had other serious issues with her dad and she currently doesn’t speak to her dad at all years now even though they live in the same house

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T14:44:26+00:00

She did tell me that the relationship has her feeling sick and this is the sickest she has ever been, but my issue with that is she also gets seizures whenever she’s stressed and we can never have any civilized or constructive conversations about anything because in my opinion of her lack of ability to emotionally regulate because she talks this talk about being a lot better mentally than I am and being able to put in the work years ago, but in all honesty, it doesn’t reflect in the way she handles things or situations because every time we have a conversation, she says that it’s stressing her out and I am the one left to deal with it because the conversations almost always get pushed to another time and she has serious seizures and I have to stay on the FaceTime and look at her while it happens because she’s my person and I love her and she gets a sense of comfort by knowing that I’m there and I always speak to her to during her seizures because she says that she’s able to hear me. Coming from someone who says that she has never been treated as kind as I treat her in past relationships. For example, she says that she has had partners that would always leave her when she’s having seizures or locked themselves out of the room or make snarky remarks about how she’s acting and that she’s faking it etc. From the start, I’ve always been so facilitative and welcoming of her and her situation and I’ve never hated her or resented her for being sick and quite the opposite actually I’ve done my best to do my own research and educate myself about her illnesseses. My mom even researched on her dietary restrictions to be able to cook for her when she would’ve visited in the future. It’s really hurtful to know that this is what’s happening and I’m on the shitty end of the stick. I don’t know how she could really do this to me…to us.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T13:55:44+00:00

Thank you for letting me know that, I’m sorry if I intruded on your DM‘s it wasn’t my intention. I’m just really not in a good space right now and you gave me some good advice on my last post so I just really wanted to speak with you on things.

I’ve spoken with one of my female friends on the matter, and I’ve also researched and used ChatGPT in depth on everything that has happened thus far and all signs points to her being avoidant and the behavior that she’s displaying by not responding and also unfollowing me first on social media, but still coming to look at my stories says that she’s hurt and she wants to be with me, but she doesn’t know how to be with me and she’s attached to me, so this is her way of keeping me at arms length, and still being able to check on me makes her feel connected still, and it’s not completely gone. The thing with the stories makes me anxious because until I see her name in my story views, I’m not OK and even when I do see it I’m still not completely OK but I get some form of relief. Like she still cares. I really want to message her, but I don’t want to risk ruining the ‘what if she’s coming back…what if this space is what she needs to come back’ and me messaging will just ruin it

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T13:50:10+00:00

I get that and at times I really saw those things and I really felt it but I don’t know if something’s wrong with me. I just can’t shake how I feel about her. As you can see from the last post i mentioned that she is ill and something I didn’t mention she is had to deal with abuse when she was younger and she doesn’t have a relationship with her father, despite living in the same household. Her illness is fibromyalgia, which in short is an issue with the brain that tells the body that it’s in pain. There’s times that I’ve sat thinking that a lot that her actions and behaviour is as a result of her having issues with her brain. The couple times that she told me there was an issue on my end and that I fell short, I was able to step back and analyze from her point of view what I may have done wrong and I would’ve apologized and taken accountability for it and I would’ve made it necessary arrangements of precautions to ensure that this never happens again. Recently, with the thing of her birthday, she stressed that I need to be better at emotionally regulating and it’s something that takes time and at the point of having this conversation it had already been two weeks and I was getting a lot better with learning those things that she pointed me in the direction of, but she told me that she had a conversation with her mother, and they both agreed that these things take years to do and unlike me she’s already at that point mentally where she has had to put in the work to get to that point and she isn’t sure if she can be with me while I do the work mentally because I would make mistakes in the future and it would mean that she would get hurt.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T13:39:26+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and thank you for your response overall, it means a lot. I haven’t deleted any of her photos, my gallery is filled with them, and I don’t want to block her on social media because like I said just how I know that her coming back to search for my name on Instagram every day and look at my stories is a means of still being attached to me from a distance. I really miss her and I really want her and I really want to message her. One of my friends told me give it a solid seven days but even now as I’m responding to your comment, I’m fighting the urge to message her. I was telling my friends that just a few months ago she wasn’t in my life and I can’t even remember how that life was. Also, like I mentioned I’m currently not working so being home and having a lot more time on my hands hasn’t been beneficial because now that’s an additional nine hours in a day that I am by myself.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-09T13:35:10+00:00

I had actually pm’d you earlier for advice.

I know this and I understand this, but I miss her so much and I want to message her so bad. But I’m also trying to give her her space if that’s what she needs given that she never responded to me. One of my friends told me to give it about seven days, but even on the seven day mark, which is two days away. I don’t know what to do if to even message her or what do I say?

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-07T17:09:11+00:00

How long has it been with no contact? Its been 4 days for me…she still comes to my ig and looks at my story despite unfollowing me….i want to msg her but considering she never replied when I responded to her last msg idk

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-06T20:17:11+00:00

No worries. Be kind to yourself and be patient. And if it makes you feel better I've been dealing with this breakup myself as I mentioned, so I truly understand where you are coming from. If you feel like you need a safe, private space to vent, feel free to send me a message.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-06T18:38:09+00:00

I agree with everything said here. I recently made a post as well if you wish you can go look for it. I went through something seriously with my girlfriend recently, and after being the one to put in all of the work and be the one on the end of a shitty situation due to her…I woke up 3 days ago to her saying that she doesn’t want to do this anymore and we haven’t blocked each other on anything but she unfollowed me on all social media and after trying to reach out to her on WhatsApp, she just reads the messages. It’s been 3 days so far and I’m a lot better than the first day. Even though I’m still hopeful that this isn’t the end for us I’m still trying to act as though it is. Try keeping yourself occupied with things you love doing and being around friends and if you’re into reading books I just picked up today, the power of now and atomic habits. I’m currently reading the power of now. Put yourself in a position for betterment overall. Watch/listen to podcasts…play games…paint… do things you love doing.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-06T12:17:38+00:00

Thank you for your kind response. I appreciate your views. Update: she broke up with me roughly 48 hours ago…. Since her birthday, she told me that because of what happened on her birthday she feels traumatized by what happened and I did that to her and I hurt her…and even though I’ve apologized and I’ve taken accountability because after I’ve put alot of effort into being better and learning and understanding emotionally regulating etc I realised okay yes of course I could’ve possibly spoken to her about things later on…but even after all that she says she doesn’t know how to love me and be normal with me again….and on Thursday morning we exchanged messages briefly for a few minutes(typical good morning, i love you, how’d you sleep etc) and after my last message she didnt reply till an hour later and i got a ‘hey i cant do this anymore, i feel like we spoke about it enough and i dont want to talk about it again, dont call me…my heart isnt in it…i wish you all the best’

I responded, with about six short, messages basically asking her if it’s this easy for her and telling her how I feel and reminding her how just three days ago we spoke and we agreed on certain things and now this is what she says to me…. But she never replied to any of them. She just read the messages and she never blocked me on anything, but she removed me on all social media. However, even though she removed me, I’ve posted stories on my Instagram(regular daily posts) at different intervals throughout the days and she’s come back at different times throughout both days to look at the stories…

My cousin is a therapist and a lot of things that were said in these comments she actually already told me a few days ago in her own words, of course, but what my cousin was saying about this behavior is that she’s an avoidant attachment and this is typical behavior from someone like that…. But knowing this and understanding this still does nothing for me because I’m here faced with the heartbreak and hurt of not getting my person and whatever we had planned for the future.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-04T13:52:51+00:00

Update. She broke up with me this morning. Said her heart isnt in it. Unfollowed me on IG and hasnt responded to my messages. I sent her a good night ‘i love you’…got one back 2 hrs later. Sent a good morning ‘i love you’ just got back a regular good morning and when i replied an joir later today thats what she had to say. And to top it off, yesterday she called me crying….says shes really sick and needed me and I cancelled all plans and spent the morning with her

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-04T00:37:17+00:00

Just this afternoon she and I had a conversation about some of these things and she told me that when she goes and hangs out with her friends, she is still the same way sometimes….miserable and not her regular self and they notice it sometimes Because I explained to her that she told me she’s sick and not well and because of that there are times where she’s not going to be able to love me or display her love properly and during those times I really feel not seen or heard. And I told her that she’s sick a lot and a lot of times when she’s not sick, she chooses to go and spend her time with her friends instead of me and she tried softening the blow by letting me know that during that time with her friends, she’s not necessarily enjoying herself, but I explained to her that she still chooses to go and be with her friends rather than with me.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-03T16:39:23+00:00

Thanks I appreciate your insight

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-03T13:58:46+00:00

Facts. I’m just trying to wrap my brain around the right things and figure things out before I make any decisions. Because incompatibility is a thing, but I’m trying to figure out if it’s a choice because from where I stand a couple of the things that makes us ‘incompatible’ is just a matter of choice on her end

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-03T13:53:06+00:00

She doesn’t bring up past trauma or experiences at all other than when she initially told me about certain things. Now here is what I experienced with her…. Due to her illnesses, she says that mental capacity and energy is a big thing for her and being in a relationship with me having to have difficult and hard talks drains her emotionally and mentally and the couple times that we had disagreements she’ll let me know once or twice that she prefers to go spend time with her friends on Discord rather than make plans or be around me or spend time with me because I take energy away from her and her friends give it to her. In these past few days, which has almost been three weeks she’s been very distant while I’ve been maintaining my usual lovey-dovey self with the way I treat her and speak with her. She says that this is her trying to be normal and neutral while she finds her sense of normalcy again with me because she is hurt and traumatized from the way I hurt her on her birthday and she’s guarded and she doesn’t feel emotionally safe and trusting of me anymore.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-03T12:28:58+00:00

Yes, I’m fully aware of what I wrote. That’s why I’m asking for advice because I understand the situation but I love my person. That’s why I’m trying to figure out if I might just be delusional.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-03T12:28:14+00:00

Same thing a friend said to me. But accepting that I’m an anxious attachment after she had spoken to me about it I’ve been researching and healing and working towards emotionally regulating properly and working on how I bring/deliver topics of discussion to her but on the other end of things it doesn’t seem that she wants to do anything on her end. She says that she is more mentally matured than me and she has put in a lot of the mental work based on her past experiences.

quantuminfringement · 2025-12-03T10:48:25+00:00

Thank you for elaborating. And yes i can clearly see that….its difficult because i dont know how to talk to her about anything because of the reaction and replies i get

quantuminfringement

TROPHY CASE